# "He's just a cat and a monocle away from being a Bond villain." **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609 "2010-08-08T17:41:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/1 "2010-08-08T17:41:09Z")
In which we discuss real people who might well be mistaken for refugees from action movies & comic books, in our world because they’re hiding from James Bond or Batman. Let’s leave fellow Dopers out of it, please. Well, apart from that one dude. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/2 "2010-08-08T17:49:14Z")
Kim Jong Il? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/3 "2010-08-08T17:52:52Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Kim Jong Il? We’ll need you to add either more detail or a wisecrack of some sort. ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/4 "2010-08-08T17:56:11Z")
Cracked dot com does some analysis: > [@](#): > > Why Would He Do It? We couldn’t figure out why a comedian would need to make himself so physically imposing. Then, we put it all together. > > He’s got a nickname that corresponds to his looks; > > His incessant visual punning gives him an annoying gimmick; > > He appears to have some recent chemical burning of his face and corresponding spackle makeup. > > That’s right: Carrot Top is a Batman villain. [Celebrity Ripped Club: 8 Non-Athletes Who’ve Gotta Be On Steroids](http://www.cracked.com/article_15623_celebrity-ripped-club-8-non-athletes-whove-gotta-be-steroids.html) ---
**Author:** ![Zsofia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/7bcc69/32.png) [@Zsofia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zsofia)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/5 "2010-08-08T19:13:01Z")
Hugo Chavez is really going for the gusto lately. Seriously, he dug up Simon Bolivar because he had a crazy-ass theory about his death, and then he Twittered about it. ---
**Author:** ![Trepa\_Mayfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/edb3f5/32.png) [@Trepa\_Mayfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trepa_Mayfield)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/6 "2010-08-08T19:16:50Z")
This is gonna get ugly fast. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/7 "2010-08-08T19:25:34Z")
> [@Zsofia](#): > > Hugo Chavez is really going for the gusto lately. Seriously, he dug up Simon Bolivar because he had a crazy-ass theory about his death, and then he Twittered about it. Yeah Chavez is currently in the phase that eventually gets revealed as backstory of the fall into villainy about 50 issues in. He will disappear in shame for 10 years and appear in issue 2. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/8 "2010-08-08T20:50:07Z")
I’d have to go with Karl Rove. Manipulative lying sociopathic bastard fof the Bush Admin. The traitor would have sold out every American’s well being, and in fact did, for political gains. Too bad there wasn’t a real Batman to kick his ass. Preferably while he starts eating an ice cream cone. “As people do better, they start voting like Republicans - unless they have too much education and vote Democratic, which proves there can be too much of a good thing” - Karl Rove on education. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/9 "2010-08-08T21:46:28Z")
I misread the title as “He’s just a cat. And a monocle away from being a Bond villiain.” And I thought, well doesn’t that pretty much describe most cats? ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/10 "2010-08-08T21:55:56Z")
Steve Jobs. I mean, come on, guys. Isn’t it obvious? ---
**Author:** ![thirdname](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d07c76/32.png) [@thirdname](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdname)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/11 "2010-08-08T22:12:52Z")
Julian Assange of Wikileaks. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/12 "2010-08-08T22:23:51Z")
[Dr. Philip Zimbardo](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Zimbardo). He conducted the infamous [Stanford Prison Experiment](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_study), which supposedly shows how ordinary people can be turned evil – but also, keeping in theme with the OP, shows how quickly people can be turned into sadistic brutes working for an unseen director. He’s written a book on evil – _The Lucifer Effect_. He now _claims_ to run an organization dedicated to using psychology to help people, but who knows, really? He has a goatee. And he’s named _ **Doctor Zimbardo** _. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/13 "2010-08-08T22:25:39Z")
> [@Sailboat](#): > > [Dr. Philip Zimbardo](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Philip_Zimbardo). > > He conducted the infamous [Stanford Prison Experiment](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_study), which supposedly shows how ordinary people can be turned evil – but also, keeping in theme with the OP, shows how quickly people can be turned into sadistic brutes working for an unseen director. But if he were truly a Bond villain, he wouldn’t have stopped the experiment, now would he? ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/14 "2010-08-08T22:28:05Z")
> [@thirdname](#): > > Julian Assange of Wikileaks. 😕 What makes you think he doesn’t have a cat? ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/15 "2010-08-08T22:31:01Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I misread the title as “He’s just a cat. And a monocle away from being a Bond villiain.” > > And I thought, well doesn’t that pretty much describe most cats? I did too! ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/16 "2010-08-08T22:33:04Z")
My best friend from high school. Supposedly his field is materials science, but he knows an awful lot about human anatomy. He also has all kinds of strange injuries on his right hand. He’s missing the top joint of his index finger, and he supposedly burned his hand so now his pinky finger is hooked like Dr. Evil. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/17 "2010-08-09T01:19:01Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > But if he were truly a Bond villain, he wouldn’t have stopped the experiment, now would he? He _says_ he stopped it. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/18 "2010-08-09T02:09:08Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > Let’s leave fellow Dopers out of it, please. Well, apart from that one dude. HEY! Hell, Dick Cheney. Bathing in virgin’s blood in “undisclosed locations”. Hmph. ---
**Author:** ![Quercus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/7ab992/32.png) [@Quercus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quercus)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/19 "2010-08-09T12:58:02Z")
A little too nice, but the judge (?Tom something?) on “Top Chef”; he’s always accompanied by an exotic beauty who pretends to have something important to do but is clearly there for looks, and he’s constantly setting his weapon-bearing minions to bizarre tests and banishing the ones who fail. Or, for that matter Heidi Klum, from “Project Runway” (hey, I’m not always in charge of the remote). Her minions aren’t nearly as intimidating, of course, but she’s got the whole convinced-of-her-innate-superiority thing, and of course the villanous accent. “I’m sorry Mr. Bond, but you’re out.” ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/20 "2010-08-09T13:53:35Z")
I think the name is critically important. A slightly unusual first name and a sophisticated European-sounding last name work well in the case of Julian Assange; or a doctorate combined with a last name reeking of evil, like Doctor Zimbardo. I’m surprised you don’t like him as a candidate – c’mon, he’s literally written the book on evil! And he testified in defense of some of the Abu Ghraib torturers! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609.md?page=2)