# "He's just a cat and a monocle away from being a Bond villain." **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 8, 2010, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609 "2010-08-08T17:41:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/21 "2010-08-09T14:03:59Z")
[Erik Prince](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Erik_Prince), CEO of Blackwater. (a) was the head of a company called “Blackwater”. (b) Just look at his frigging picture in Wikipedia. (c) political content left out but really, it’s all out there. Now, admittedly, “Erik Prince” only works as a supervillain secret identity name (a la Edward Nigma); he needs some kinda battlesuit and codename. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/22 "2010-08-09T14:08:29Z")
So-called global investor [Dr. Mark Mobius](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&biw=1211&bih=683&q=mark%20mobius&gbv=2&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=iw). Never trust a white man in a white suit with a shaven head. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/23 "2010-08-09T14:15:02Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > > > Kim Jong Il? > > We’ll need you to add either more detail or a wisecrack of some sort. Well, look: -Guy runs an inpenetrable totalitarian state, A La Dr. Doom. -There are pictures of him posted everywhere to remind the populace not to get out of line. -Threatens total war when anyone so much as bags his groceries wrong. -Has a DMZ on his border. -And yes, actually has a trapdoor in his office floor above a shark tank. ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/24 "2010-08-09T15:12:13Z")
Vladimir Putin looks like somebody you don’t want to cross. He gets his cronies into power, then they return the favor when he wants to step up. He erodes away opposition with death by a million paper cuts. He don’t need no GPS; he’s got KGB. Wiping out entire Chechnyan villages is as easy for him as pocketing Superbowl rings. [Moshe Dayan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moshe_Dayan), Defense Minister of Israel, would definitely be the quintessential Bond villain. As if that eyepatch weren’t scary enough, his smile looks like he’s been eating Syrians for breakfast. He armed a postage-stamp sized country against the entire Muslim world, so he knows millions of ways to kill people, for realz. He supposedly hated his black eyepatch, but I think it was there to hide the laser beam they put in his eye socket. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/25 "2010-08-09T15:20:57Z")
> [@Alessan](#): > > Steve Jobs. > > I mean, come on, guys. Isn’t it obvious? In fact, NBC’s spy-themed sitcom “Chuck” had a villain who was a pretty thinly veiled version of Steve Jobs. Played by Chevy Chase, I believe. And it worked quite well! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/26 "2010-08-09T15:25:49Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > Vladimir Putin looks like somebody you don’t want to cross. He gets his cronies into power, then they return the favor when he wants to step up. He erodes away opposition with death by a million paper cuts. He don’t need no GPS; he’s got KGB. Wiping out entire Chechnyan villages is as easy for him as pocketing Superbowl rings. Also, he’s a sixth dan in Judo. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/27 "2010-08-09T15:48:16Z")
Well, if you’re going to cite Rove and Cheney (and I’m not disagreeing!) I can throw in Hillary. I’m not sure a monocle would fit her fashion sense, and she doesn’t strike me as a cat person, but Bond villain? Definitely. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/28 "2010-08-09T18:44:25Z")
> [@Knowed\_Out](#): > > [Moshe Dayan](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moshe_Dayan), Defense Minister of Israel, would definitely be the quintessential Bond villain. As if that eyepatch weren’t scary enough, his smile looks like he’s been eating Syrians for breakfast. He armed a postage-stamp sized country against the entire Muslim world, so he knows millions of ways to kill people, for realz. He supposedly hated his black eyepatch, but I think it was there to hide the laser beam they put in his eye socket. As far as early Israeli statesmen go though, he may have been too pragmatic to be a Bond villain. He does make me think of: As far as I know Andrew Vachss isn’t evil, but just [look at the goddamn picture](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Vachss). No white Persian, but a large dog has its own panache. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/29 "2010-08-09T18:48:53Z")
Well, if pictures are all it takes, [China Mieville](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/China_Mi%C3%A9ville) looks a lot like the Bond villain’s over-the-top bodyguard. (And has a good villain name). ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/30 "2010-08-09T18:59:10Z")
On **The Big Bang Theory** , Leonard told Penny that Sheldon is, “one lab accident away from being a super villain”. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/31 "2010-08-09T19:20:18Z")
> [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > On **The Big Bang Theory** , Leonard told Penny that Sheldon is, “one lab accident away from being a super villain”. Sheldon is not a real person. Sheldon is a character on a TV show. ---
**Author:** ![JoelUpchurch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f05b48/32.png) [@JoelUpchurch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoelUpchurch)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/32 "2010-08-09T21:30:06Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > > [@JoelUpchurch](#): > > > > On **The Big Bang Theory** , Leonard told Penny that Sheldon is, “one lab accident away from being a super villain”. > > Sheldon is not a real person. Sheldon is a character on a TV show. I wasn’t suggesting Sheldon as a candidate. I just think the lab accident phrase is much pithier than the cat and monocle phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/33 "2010-08-09T23:07:51Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > Hell, Dick Cheney. Do you remember how he was in a wheelchair during Obama’s inauguration? I think even the network news guys were joking about how much he looked like a super-villain. > [@Alessan](#): > > Steve Jobs. Similarly, Bill Gates. The Gates Foundation has tens of billions at its disposal. Ostensibly, it’s doing good things like providing vaccines in the third world, but secretly, it’s building a giant laser to vaporize the moon. ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2010, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/34 "2010-08-09T23:52:14Z")
[Robert T. Bigelow](http://news.xinhuanet.com/english2010/sci/2010-06/23/c_13364672.htm). Dude is building his own space station. Can’t get more Bond villain than an orbital lair. Soon he will be raining death and destruction down upon the Earth as a helpless humanity can only shake their fists at the heavens and scream “_Bigeloooowwww!!!_” ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/35 "2010-08-10T00:53:42Z")
[Jerry Jones](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerry_Jones). Just built a huge super-luxury stadium. It’s the perfect place to hide a supervillain’s lair. [His middle name is Wayne.](http://www.newsoftheweird.com/wayne.html) He owns the Cowboys. He fired Tom Landry. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/36 "2010-08-10T01:06:09Z")
> [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > His middle name is Wayne. As is mine. Oh G-d, the bastard could have provided links. Christ, there’s one from Arkansas. Y’all know not to piss me off, right? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/37 "2010-08-10T01:15:23Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > > [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](#): > > > > His middle name is Wayne. > > As is mine. > 🙂 So is mine! I spoke from experience. Off to twirl my moustache… ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/38 "2010-08-10T01:22:30Z")
Um, those of you with the middle name “Wayne”, are you aware of the [large number of murderers who also have it for a middle name](http://www.newsoftheweird.com/wayne.html)? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/39 "2010-08-10T01:28:33Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > Um, those of you with the middle name “Wayne”, are you aware of the [large number of murderers who also have it for a middle name](http://www.newsoftheweird.com/wayne.html)? I believe Rocket Surgery and I were just discussing that. I don’t like him very much, Rocket. In fact, he makes me angry. How about you, Rocket? _Avid Fan._ 🙂 required smiley lest the Mods call Eliot Ness. ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609/40 "2010-08-10T01:39:57Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > > [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > > > Um, those of you with the middle name “Wayne”, are you aware of the [large number of murderers who also have it for a middle name](http://www.newsoftheweird.com/wayne.html)? > > I believe Rocket Surgery and I were just discussing that. > I don’t like him very much, Rocket. In fact, he makes me angry. > How about you, Rocket? > > _Avid Fan._ > 🙂 required smiley lest the Mods call Eliot Ness. I agree, Carnivorous W. Plant. You’ll notice that News of the Weird no longer lists the Waynes. I wonder why they stopped… eh? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-just-a-cat-and-a-monocle-away-from-being-a-bond-villain/549609.md?page=3)