# He's making me feel kind of worthless **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 1, 2005, 9:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345 "2005-06-01T09:23:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Pensandfeathers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Pensandfeathers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pensandfeathers)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/21 "2005-06-01T16:51:35Z")
> [@Trunk](#): > > Have you slept together since he started acting like this? Nope. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/22 "2005-06-01T16:55:02Z")
He sounds like he’s trying to end it then. It’s odd that he comes by when you’re there, and doesn’t come by when you’re not there. Regardless, I’d say, “Take the hint. Don’t act desparate. And just start forgetting about him.” ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/23 "2005-06-01T16:56:36Z")
In the end, it doesn’t really matter why he’s acting like a jerk. All that matters is that he’s acting like a jerk. Cut him loose, or you’ll have to put up with him behaving like a jerk to you for the rest of your relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/24 "2005-06-01T17:08:53Z")
> [@Pensandfeathers](#): > > He knows about my little crush, and I’m fine with that. > > … but he can at least treat me like an adult. I think you need to pick one or the other, here. ---
**Author:** ![Cliffy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/59ef9b/32.png) [@Cliffy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cliffy)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/25 "2005-06-01T17:35:25Z")
> [@hillbilly queen](#): > > Either way, he deffinatly wants you for more than just a casual relationship, but he’s not likely to admit it. I don’t see it. IME, when chicks have a crush on me, I stay the hell away from them, because I don’t want to deal with it. When I have a crush on them, I tend to find myself excuses to wander by their office. From what I’ve read, the guy isn’t being a jerk at all. –Cliffy ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/26 "2005-06-01T18:51:32Z")
Regarding the thread title: Nobody “makes” you feel anything. They do what they do, how you feel about is your choice. Consider: Regardless of his behavior, you could choose to shake your head an laugh at it. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/27 "2005-06-01T20:11:28Z")
> [@Pensandfeathers](#): > > I’m not pining over him, perhaps he shouldn’t flatter himself so much…I do like him, in more than just a friendly way. You’re all over the map on this one. Are you sure _you’re_ not sending mixed signals? > [@](#): > > He still comes over to the cafe, but only when I’m there - my co-workers can attest to that. I guess he’ll walk over, take a look around and if I’m not there he just walks away. Yet, when I AM there and he does come over, he completely ignores me and talks to everyone else. That’s something I do. It’s because I’m shy with girls I dig. > [@](#): > > However, I am more than willing to swallow… What are you, a straightman on morning radio show? I wish I had a 21-year-old pining over me… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/28 "2005-06-01T20:46:00Z")
**Pens** , you need to put a fair amount of gone between you and him. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/29 "2005-06-01T22:01:43Z")
Just from what you’ve written, my first guess was that he’s trying to play it cool but he sucks at it. He could also be uncomfortable that you guys hooked up and wants to back off but doesn’t have the balls to bring it up directly. Either way, life’s too short to put up with this crap in a casual relationship. Tell him you’ve noticed him acting weird and it’s getting on your nerves, so you think you guys would be better as friends, i.e. go away. ---
**Author:** ![Pensandfeathers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Pensandfeathers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pensandfeathers)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/30 "2005-06-01T23:48:46Z")
Okay… I’m apparently all over the place on this one. Taking into account the responses to this - there are so many reasons he could be acting the way he’s acting that its hard to pin one down. I’ve been thinking about it today, and it really isn’t worth bringing it up to him. I mean, I know how he is more than anyone here and he’d just blow it off or act like I’m being silly. So…fuck it, he can do whatever he wants and I’m just going to mindlessly flirt with next-door guy. I think I may take on being oblivious. If you don’t pay attention to much of anything, nothing can really bother you. End of thread, thank you for the responses. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/31 "2005-06-02T12:32:59Z")
> [@Pensandfeathers](#): > > …I’m just going to mindlessly flirt with next-door guy. Good idea. > [@](#): > > End of thread… I’m not so sure you have that level of authority. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/32 "2005-06-02T13:03:27Z")
43 year old guy here… All he’s interested in is a booty call. Dump his sorry ass, and find someone else who will care about you. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/33 "2005-06-02T16:31:24Z")
Yeah, I think **VunderBob’s** onto something there. Reading this whole story, I keep getting the feeling that this attraction is going to be one of those ones that you’ll look back on in five years and say what the hell was I thinking? If your older self could send a message back through time to 21 year old you, I think the message would be “Forget about this loser. Now, let’s go find that 24 year old hottie from next door.” ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/34 "2005-06-02T17:05:13Z")
> [@Pensandfeathers](#): > > Taking into account the responses to this - there are so many reasons he could be acting the way he’s acting that its hard to pin one down. For future reference, don’t try to figure out someone’s motives. If they’re up front and honest with you, that’s good. If you have to guess at why they’re behaving a certain way, that’s bad. Or at least futile. > [@](#): > > I’ve been thinking about it today, and it really isn’t worth bringing it up to him. I mean, I know how he is more than anyone here and he’d just blow it off or act like I’m being silly. > > So…fuck it, he can do whatever he wants and I’m just going to mindlessly flirt with next-door guy. Good girl. Good luck and have fun! ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/35 "2005-06-02T17:06:38Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > For future reference, don’t try to figure out someone’s motives. I wonder what would make you say that. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2005, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345/36 "2005-06-02T17:09:21Z")
Well, if you don’t know by now, I’m not going to tell you!! ::runs from the room crying:: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-making-me-feel-kind-of-worthless/306345.md?page=1)