# He's obsessed with a game!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 28, 2003, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477 "2003-01-28T14:35:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/21 "2003-01-30T16:15:08Z")
Speaking as someone who learned the hard way, you really need to see that he gets some kind of help, whether from you or one of his friends. Retreating into a video game in a way that causes your husband to be unwilling to deal with or help with real world problems is not a trivial thing. Often people who retreat into a fantasy world are feeling seriously depressed, or that they have no control over “real-world” events. Any idea how his work life is going right now? Any other stress factors that you can account for? Big project, troubles with bosses or co-workers, stress at home? ---
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/22 "2003-01-30T16:25:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by welby \* > \*\*Any idea how his work life is going right now? Any other stress factors that you can account for? Big project, troubles with bosses or co-workers, stress at home? \*\* Yes, he’s leaving in a month unwillingly to go assist in the America-must-kick-Iraq’s-butt-or-else thing, and will be thousands of miles away for quite awhile. I would imagine he’s stressed over that but his style is not to discuss how he feels…so it comes off appearing that I’m more stressed about him leaving than he is, while he writes it off as “you’ll be ok”. (yeah? but will he?) I know he’s got to be more stressed about it than he lets on. That probably didnt have much to do with the game thing though, he was obsessed before he found out he was going anywhere. It just makes my remaining time with him harder… ---
**Author:** ![DeVena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dec6dc/32.png) [@DeVena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeVena)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/23 "2003-01-30T19:07:05Z")
Just a thought… My hubby used to be in the Air Force. According to the couselor, many in the military will pick fights with their family before shipping out. Or they will begin to disassociate and seperate away as soon as they know they’re going. They think it makes it easier to leave. You really need to talk to him. Take the kids to a friend and then hide the power cord before he comes home. If nothing else, just tell him how he’s making you (and your babies) feel. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/24 "2003-01-30T21:28:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DeVena \* > \*\*Just a thought… > > My hubby used to be in the Air Force. According to the couselor, many in the military will pick fights with their family before shipping out. Or they will begin to disassociate and seperate away as soon as they know they’re going. They think it makes it easier to leave. > > You really need to talk to him. Take the kids to a friend and then hide the power cord before he comes home. If nothing else, just tell him how he’s making you (and your babies) feel. \*\* I think you might be right on the money with this. Has he ever left on assignment before? Was his behavior similar to this? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/25 "2003-01-30T21:40:52Z")
Yikes. I’m sorry for what you’re going through **acrossthesea**. I’m a computer game junkie, and think there’s nothing inherently wrong with someone playing games for hours a day. That said, your husband’s behavior is really disturbing. He’s obsessed to the point of hurting his wife and kids. Like others said, I would talk to him. I would emphasize that you don’t want him to stop playing his game, but you want him to make time for you and the kids. Especially since he’s leaving soon. Don’t focus on how worried you are for his safety, or the chance of never seeing him again. If he refuses to alter his habits, you may have to decide at what point you take more drastic steps. ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/26 "2003-01-30T21:54:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by roadkiller \* > \*\*Hopefully this will blow over. When my brother got EverQuest he had a **9 hour marathon** , during which the only movements he made were with his index fingers on the keys (yes he types with two fingers). \*\* Pah! Rookie! 🙂 9 hours is not unusual at all for the truly dedicated (read: addicted) Back in the old days of EQ, I did a full 24 hour EQ session. 9 AM to 9 AM. I was at a point that I was sick of not making progress, so I settled down and ground XP for the full 24 hours. Signed, A former EQ addict. 2 months EQ free! ---
**Author:** ![Gazelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Gazelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gazelle)\ **Post date:** [January 30, 2003, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/27 "2003-01-30T21:55:12Z")
I have a friend who went to counseling with his wife specifically over the issue of his **Asheron’s Call** addiction. He had to give up multiplayer online games. He can play **Baldur’s Gate** or similar games for seven hours per week. His choice as to when, but family comes first. ---
**Author:** ![Unintentionally\_Blank](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/unintentionally_blank/32/5418_2.png) [@Unintentionally\_Blank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unintentionally_Blank)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/28 "2003-01-31T01:09:21Z")
I just had an epiphany. Are we obsessed with the SDMB? IS that better or worse? ---
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/29 "2003-01-31T17:48:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Meatros \* > \*\*I think you might be right on the money with this. > Has he ever left on assignment before? Was his behavior similar to this? \*\* He hasn’t left since I’ve known him…last time he did was before he had a family. It’s especially stressful I would imagine now, because everyday what the deal is changes, so we’re not even sure when/if/how long he’s going. So yeah despite what he says I know it’s got to be tough for him. It’s certainly tough for me, cause we’re already thousands of miles away from home as it is. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/30 "2003-01-31T17:54:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by acrossthesea \* > \*\*He hasn’t left since I’ve known him…last time he did was before he had a family. It’s especially stressful I would imagine now, because everyday what the deal is changes, so we’re not even sure when/if/how long he’s going. So yeah despite what he says I know it’s got to be tough for him. It’s certainly tough for me, cause we’re already thousands of miles away from home as it is. \*\* I feel for you. I do suggest that your husband see someone about this. I think the problem has to do with his shipping off and I bet he had a rough time the last time he shipped out-leading him to believe that future departures would be difficult. It seems as though he’s using the videogame as an escape. You must be especially stressed. I hope things get better. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 31, 2003, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/31 "2003-01-31T18:12:16Z")
Do you know any other military wives? Maybe you could talk to them about how their husbands react and how they deal with it. My dad was in the AF for a long time but he retired when I was about 7. Strange when I was about 5 (1969) we lived on Clark AFB and dad went away for few weeks every month. I had no idea that he was going to Viet Nam or that a war was on. ---
**Author:** ![acrossthesea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@acrossthesea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/acrossthesea)\ **Post date:** [February 2, 2003, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477/32 "2003-02-02T09:07:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\*Do you know any other military wives? Maybe you could talk to them about how their husbands react and how they deal with it. My dad was in the AF for a long time but he retired when I was about 7. > > Strange when I was about 5 (1969) we lived on Clark AFB and dad went away for few weeks every month. I had no idea that he was going to Viet Nam or that a war was on. \*\* We live on an air force base in japan, so yeah there are a lot of military wives everywhere. I’ve been trying to get into some sort of group where they educate you more about that sort of thing… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-obsessed-with-a-game/151477.md?page=1)