# He's so stupid that... **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 10, 2000, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963 "2000-06-10T17:57:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rosethorn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ee7513/32.png) [@Rosethorn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rosethorn)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/41 "2000-06-13T02:05:01Z")
Hes about as useful as Michael Jordan in a baseball uniform ---
**Author:** ![Al\_Phosgene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/51bf81/32.png) [@Al\_Phosgene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Al_Phosgene)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2000, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/42 "2000-06-13T18:35:00Z")
He’s two bricks short of an analogy. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/43 "2000-06-23T17:22:53Z")
My all time favorite is He’s not just stupid. It would take a million years for the light from stupid to reach him!😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tally-Ho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e495f1/32.png) [@Tally-Ho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tally-Ho)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/44 "2000-06-23T17:56:25Z")
He was absent the day God handed out brains. The lights are on but nobody’s home. Several cards short of a full deck. chrisbar ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/45 "2000-06-23T18:36:20Z")
Heh heh heh. **Chris** , next time you post a list of synonyms for God-awful stupid, you might consider leaving off your signature from the end. I’m actually sitting here trying to figure out if you did that on purpose, as a kind of self-effacing in-joke. ---
**Author:** ![my85car](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ed8c4c/32.png) [@my85car](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/my85car)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/46 "2000-06-23T18:38:45Z")
My favorite is: If brains were gas, he wouldn’t have enough to drive a piss-ants motorcycle half way around the inside of a cheerio. ---
**Author:** ![Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/bc8723/32.png) [@Unauthorized\_Cinnamon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Unauthorized_Cinnamon)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/47 "2000-06-23T18:56:04Z")
I personally like “Sharp as a marble.” Then there’s the classic bit from A Fish Called Wanda: > [@](#): > > To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people! I’ve known sheep who could outwit you. I’ve worn dresses with higher IQs. ---
**Author:** ![Satchmo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/satchmo/32/4223_2.png) [@Satchmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Satchmo)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/48 "2000-06-23T19:50:03Z")
Another classic one from Foghorn Leghorn: “That boy’s about as sharp as a mashed potato sandwich!” ---
**Author:** ![Flypsyde](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Flypsyde](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flypsyde)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/49 "2000-06-23T19:51:33Z")
A few twinkles short of a glimmer. ---
**Author:** ![spark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@spark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spark)\ **Post date:** [June 23, 2000, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/50 "2000-06-23T19:53:34Z")
(S)he’s so dumb, (s)he couldn’t f\*\*\* without instructions. (S)he’s the Village Idiot of the Disenchanted Kingdom. Double-digit. Easily confused by shiny objects. Doesn’t use birth control 'cause the pills keep falling out. (Upon viewing his/her stupidity) Someone needs to put more chlorine in the gene pool… ---
**Author:** ![Narile](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@Narile](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Narile)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/51 "2000-06-24T04:18:44Z")
He’s so stupid, he consistantly loses a battle of wits with bricks. ---
**Author:** ![DAVEW0071](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e19b73/32.png) [@DAVEW0071](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DAVEW0071)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/52 "2000-06-24T12:45:03Z")
The purpose of his life is to be an organ donor. One tit short of an udder. He has the intellectual capacity of a sandwich. A fraction for an IQ. His IQ is so low you have to dig for it. ---
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/53 "2000-06-24T21:18:57Z")
He only gets a half-hour for lunch so that his boss doesn’t have to retrain him ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/54 "2000-06-24T22:47:45Z")
So dumb that she goes into a surgical supply store looking for a gutwrench. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 24, 2000, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/55 "2000-06-24T23:22:30Z")
Couple I’ve heard . . . Dumber than a box of hair. Went surfing in Nebraska. The wheel’s running but the hampster’s not in there. Was tutored by Andy Katzenmoyer (you football fans will know). Sniffing glue made her smarter. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/56 "2000-06-25T08:35:20Z")
“He’s as dumb as a post. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a letter of apology to write to posts everywhere.” Or, “…and that’s a rotten thing to say about posts.” ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2000, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963/57 "2000-06-25T13:38:31Z")
I once heard a friend of mine referred to as “You’re like a shiny penny!” Said friend: “Thank you!” Other guy: “That’s right. You look nice, but you’re not worth much.” Other analogy of being stupid: S/He’d get lost falling down. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hes-so-stupid-that/21963.md?page=2)