# Hetero Dopers - If a person is very attractive, but gay, do you still find them sexy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330 "2009-09-24T03:01:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/21 "2009-09-24T12:08:59Z")
_shrugs_ Hot is hot. There’s no reason I can’t look, even if he would never be interested. I have a coworker who says she doesn’t want to waste her time looking at a guy if he’s gay but I don’t quite understand. So what? He’s still hot, right? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/22 "2009-09-24T12:26:42Z")
Another vote for “hot is hot.” Exhibit A: Anderson Cooper. **drool** Exhibit B: Rupert Everett. ---
**Author:** ![silvermist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@silvermist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silvermist)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/23 "2009-09-24T12:28:37Z")
I met a guy working in a store that I thought was sexy. Found out later that he was gay and just thought what a waste. ---
**Author:** ![legalsnugs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/45deac/32.png) [@legalsnugs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/legalsnugs)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/24 "2009-09-24T13:24:47Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > BTW, Ellen’s new woman? HOT. Ellen’s got a new woman? What happened to her wife, Portia de Rossi? ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/7cd45c/32.png) [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_Doubt)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/25 "2009-09-24T13:50:17Z")
Nah, some kind of switch in my head throws when I find out someone is unavailable. It works the same way for married men (which I consider completely out of bounds). I might have a moment of “oh, darn” but it’s “meh” right after that. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/26 "2009-09-24T18:58:41Z")
I had a massive crush on on of my high school English teachers, even after I knew 100% for sure that he was gay. ---
**Author:** ![MovieMogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f08c70/32.png) [@MovieMogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MovieMogul)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/27 "2009-09-24T19:08:47Z")
> [@St.Anger](#): > > Are you kidding me? Nothing hotter than a fine looking lesbian. Ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/28 "2009-09-24T19:16:01Z")
Hot is hot. In most cases, I really am not interested in doing anything but looking anyway. If I were single, and was interested in a guy, and found out he was gay, I might try to find out if he was bi…but if I knew that he was only interested in other men, I wouldn’t throw myself at him. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/29 "2009-09-24T20:05:49Z")
If he’s hot, he’s hot. But my actual attraction to him is pretty much stopped short if I know he’s uninterested or even repulsed by the idea of sex with me or any other woman. Even if I never had any intention of hooking up with him. I guess I just need it to be mutual, even if it’s only in my head. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/30 "2009-09-24T20:13:43Z")
Seriously? You’re asking if straight men find attractive lesbians sexy? ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/31 "2009-09-24T20:16:44Z")
There’s nothing at all wrong with Ellen DeGeneres as far as I’m concerned, but her wife Portia de Rossi is really very attractive. Her being lesbian does not change that for me at all. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/32 "2009-09-24T21:34:59Z")
I am particularly turned on by the look that might be described as soft butch - short hair, minimal makeup, severely elegant clothes. Basically, [Rachel Maddow](http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a381/LordHannibal/RachelMaddowAgain.jpg) in her tv guise - creamy skin, long elegant neck, regular features, intense eyes. Granted, a woman who looks like this need not necessarily be lesbian, but it’s strongly associated with out lesbians. ---
**Author:** ![Superhal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Superhal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superhal)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2009, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/33 "2009-09-24T22:55:39Z")
I’m not picky. ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/34 "2009-09-25T02:30:35Z")
> [@Angel\_of\_Doubt](#): > > Nah, some kind of switch in my head throws when I find out someone is unavailable. It works the same way for married men (which I consider completely out of bounds). I might have a moment of “oh, darn” but it’s “meh” right after that. Seriously, can you teach me that? I am soooo tired of the hot married coworker thing. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/35 "2009-09-25T03:05:28Z")
The only thing that changes is my hope for a possible involvement. ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/36 "2009-09-25T04:39:05Z")
Silly question. If I’m attracted to her of _course_ she’s gay. It’s a rule somewhere. Has to be. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/37 "2009-09-25T04:53:00Z")
Disinterest in me has never stopped a woman from being attractive. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/38 "2009-09-25T05:14:00Z")
> [@gurujulp](#): > > I am extremely attracted to lesbians, whether or not I am aware that they are. > > I have no real ‘gaydar’ per se, but probably 7 of 10 times I am head over heels in crush with someone, they are a gay woman. > > Sad. That’s what they tell me too when I ask them out. As for the initial question, I am deeply, deeply disappointed that Jodie Foster and Portia Di Rossi are lesbians. The fact that they are lesbians does not lessen the hot for me, but nor does it increase it. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/39 "2009-09-25T05:34:03Z")
Gay here. If I’m attracted to a guy and find out he’s straight, why would that change the attraction? (Some people would find him even more attractive; I’ve never understood that.) ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/40 "2009-09-25T05:36:43Z")
Often heard around an SCA-style outfit I use to be in: wench: you know, it’s kind of a pity about Scott and Scott. wenches chorus: _sigh_ yeah… new, clueless wench: what about them? veteran wench: well, just that they’re “Scott and Scott” and I’ve been here for six years and I’m still trying to decide which Scott is better looking… another veteran wench: I think Scott is more handsome than Scott. wench: but which of Scott and Scott? The first Scott or the second Scott? a.v.w.: … one or the other? veteran wenches: _collective sigh_ n., c. w.: _still needing explanations_ So what if Scott and Scott were gay? That didn’t make them any less attractive - nor any of us more prone to acting on their irredeemable cuteness than if each Scott had been paired with, say, a Mary instead of with the other Scott. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330.md?page=3)