# Hetero Dopers - If a person is very attractive, but gay, do you still find them sexy? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 24, 2009, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330 "2009-09-24T03:01:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/41 "2009-09-25T06:14:06Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Just curious. If there is very attractive man or woman you know to be gay, how would that play into your perception of their overall attractiveness or sexiness (to you)? > > For example, back in the day when she was just doing stand up, and well before she came out, I used to think Ellen Degeneres was quite cute in a quirky way. When she came out of the closet my perception of her as “kinda cute” vanished, and she was no longer even tangentially attractive to me. You’re not imagining things. You can look at pictures of her in the closet and pictures of her now. I have seen this happen many times before Simply put, Ellen wears the pants in her house. the assumption is that post closet life represents freedom to be what you always wanted to be. ---
**Author:** ![AK84](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/85e7bf/32.png) [@AK84](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AK84)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/42 "2009-09-25T06:56:40Z")
I managed to “fix” a lesbian once. If only for a few hours. Damn she was hot. And good. Double vodka with red bull. Errr whats the question? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/43 "2009-09-25T07:04:53Z")
> [@astro](#): > > Just curious. If there is very attractive man or woman you know to be gay, how would that play into your perception of their overall attractiveness or sexiness (to you)? > > For example, back in the day when she was just doing stand up, and well before she came out, I used to think Ellen Degeneres was quite cute in a quirky way. When she came out of the closet my perception of her as “kinda cute” vanished, and she was no longer even tangentially attractive to me. > > On the same note I kind of wonder what’s happened to Clay Aiken’s rabidly enthusiastic “Claymates” now that he’s out of the closet. I’m with you **astro**. Once I find out a female is a lesbian, they are no longer “sexy” to me. They may still be attractive, but that’s a different thing - more of an objective assessment. This may explain why I also can’t find celebrities “sexy”, even though I can appreciate their looks. There is basically zero chance I will ever hook up with them, so they don’t fit in the “sexy” box. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/44 "2009-09-25T16:00:05Z")
AWK!!! Reading through this I got annoyed and just \*had \* to look up this “Portia di Rossi” everyone keeps mentioning. Holy smokes! Ellen, I am so terribly, terribly jealous. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/45 "2009-09-25T16:58:24Z")
If only the internet catered to the rarely-heard segment of the population that likes to see attractive women make out with each other. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/46 "2009-09-25T17:05:34Z")
Hell, yeah. The most attractive woman in my workplace (apart from my wife, of course) is gay. In addition to her classically beautiful features and knock-out figure, she’s also a geek in all of the most attractive possible ways. I’m glad that I’m all committed and stuff, because if I were a free agent I have no doubt that I would embarrass myself by barking up that tree anyway. Woof, woof, woof. ---
**Author:** ![TheFaerie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c57346/32.png) [@TheFaerie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheFaerie)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/47 "2009-09-25T17:25:19Z")
Sexy is sexy, no matter the sexual preference. ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/48 "2009-09-25T17:33:10Z")
Ellen was never really hot and the claymates were always in severe denial. I have as much shot of banging a super hot lesbian as i do a super hot straight female so their appeal doesn’t really diminish. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/49 "2009-09-25T17:56:46Z")
> [@Gorgon\_Heap](#): > > AWK!!! > > Reading through this I got annoyed and just \*had \* to look up this “Portia di Rossi” everyone keeps mentioning. > > Holy smokes! Ellen, I am so terribly, terribly jealous. And she is very funny when she does comedy. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/50 "2009-09-25T18:12:01Z")
> [@The\_Second\_Stone](#): > > And she is very funny when she does comedy. I know her from _Arrested Development_, where she was great (hell, the whole cast was). ETA: Pretty sure it’s Portia \*\*de \*\*Rossi. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/51 "2009-09-25T18:14:59Z")
I tend to find people more attractive when I find out they’re gay. Works great for me with guys. Not so much with girls. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/52 "2009-09-25T18:24:47Z")
Since they’re unattainable anyway, then what does it matter? Heck, I even think a couple of the frothing at the mouth conservatives women from Fox are hot, and that would be more off-putting in real life. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/53 "2009-09-25T18:27:10Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I know her from _Arrested Development_, where she was great (hell, the whole cast was). > > ETA: Pretty sure it’s Portia \*\*de \*\*Rossi. Yeah, well I ain’t staring at the spelling of her name. She is very funny in Better Off Ted. She did a stint of Law & Order SVU and was good at filling in for Hargitay when she was on maternity leave. That was drama. I’m pretty sure that was her. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/54 "2009-09-25T22:39:23Z")
> [@Shot\_From\_Guns](#): > > I know her from _Arrested Development_, where she was great (hell, the whole cast was). > > ETA: Pretty sure it’s Portia \*\*de \*\*Rossi. According to the IMDB, Portia di Rossi is listed as an alternate name. [Link](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0005577/) ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2009, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/55 "2009-09-25T23:17:48Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > Simply put, Ellen wears the pants in her house. Ya think? [http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1697876736/nm0005577](http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1697876736/nm0005577) ---
**Author:** ![gaffa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e68b1a/32.png) [@gaffa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gaffa)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/56 "2009-09-26T01:14:32Z")
Shortly after she came out (not that she was terribly in) K.D. Lang was [photographed for the cover of Vanity Fair](http://www.kdlang.net/e/08_mag/VF9308/VF1.jpg), [being shaved by Cindy Crawford](http://www.kdlang.net/e/08_mag/VF9308/VF2.jpg). In the course of the article, the (male) interviewer asked her what was going through her head during the shoot. She replied “Pretty much the same thing as would be going through yours.” I can take it as read that some of you will be in your bunks. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/57 "2009-09-26T05:12:09Z")
> [@legalsnugs](#): > > Ellen’s got a new woman? What happened to her wife, Portia de Rossi? Yeh, I’ve never really followed Ellen’s love life very closely. I suppose we can say _relatively_ new? They’ve been married since 2008. 😛 I really only became aware of her from **Better Off Ted.** She’s funny _and_ hot. _sigh_ ---
**Author:** ![outlierrn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/outlierrn/32/3005_2.png) [@outlierrn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/outlierrn)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/58 "2009-09-26T20:31:48Z")
> [@gaffa](#): > > Shortly after she came out (not that she was terribly in) K.D. Lang was [photographed for the cover of Vanity Fair](http://www.kdlang.net/e/08_mag/VF9308/VF1.jpg), [being shaved by Cindy Crawford](http://www.kdlang.net/e/08_mag/VF9308/VF2.jpg). In the course of the article, the (male) interviewer asked her what was going through her head during the shoot. She replied “Pretty much the same thing as would be going through yours.” > > I can take it as read that some of you will be in your bunks. Roger that ---
**Author:** ![KAndre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@KAndre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KAndre)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/59 "2009-09-27T03:12:23Z")
I’m on the side of hot being hot. Shoot, I still salivate at the thought of a young Peter O’Toole, Bruce Lee, or Errol Flynn (and at least two of them are dead and one died before I was born. If I recall rumors correctly, Mr. Flynn would do anything with a pulse. Still sexy.). Eh, as for Claymates, some were in denial, many weren’t (a fansite, Openly Clay, was doing slash with him since the beginning). I like him, never thought he was particularly sexy but know he can occasionally clean up very nicely. ---
**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\ **Post date:** [September 27, 2009, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330/60 "2009-09-27T15:49:21Z")
> [@SHAKES](#): > > Some of my most intense crushes have been on gay women. (I’m sure there’s a ‘can’t have’ factor going on there) > > It’s funny, in hindsight, I remember trying to think of ways to turn said crushes straight, _just once_. > > Thankfully, I never tried to follow through with some of the crazy ass ideas I had going on in my head. In my case I generally find women in the Androgynous Zone to be very hot (if I must quantify this somehow for clarity’s sake, this means anywhere between 51% feminine/49% masculine to c. 67%/33%), but a goodly portion of women in this range are lesbians, alas. Asked out a supervisor of mine once right after she gave her 2 week’s notice (such that I could finally date her, right?), sweet, energetic, perky, cute as hell, short hair. I was oblivious to the female “companion” she had with her at a beach party a month earlier, you see. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-dopers-if-a-person-is-very-attractive-but-gay-do-you-still-find-them-sexy/511330.md?page=4)