# Hetero Male Rules and Protocol

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-male-rules-and-protocol/389317>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [January 24, 2007, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-male-rules-and-protocol/389317 "2007-01-24T21:51:14Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 13

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**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\
**Post date:** [February 5, 2007, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-male-rules-and-protocol/389317/241 "2007-02-05T22:33:04Z")

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[QUOTE=saoirse]  
I think for “exegesis,” you need to use “motherfucker.”

**e-bow** , you have it exactly wrong. Which is more hetero-manly, a high-and-tight, or long Breck-washed locks down to your ass? A denim or leather jacket, or a puffy pirate shirt? Spandex… well, need I say any more?  
[/QUOTE]

Ah, **saoirse** - you are missing the point: H-M’s look to manly guitarists - who dress in spandex, have long hair, wear make-up and take on girls’ names (well actually, that was 80’s LA Hair Metal - Jani Lane, Taime Down, Bret Michaels, etc.) as a “fantasy aspiration” - while some biker types do look like they belong in a Frank Frazetta fantasy illustration, most H-M’s wear Dockers and Lands-End button downs - but \*imagine \* themselves rockin’ out to the masses.

I happen to agree with most of e-bow’s exegesis, bitch (sorry, can’t bring myself to use MF…:)). My biggest disagreement at first read is:

> [@](#):
>
> Any instrument with more strings than that instrument is supposed to have is manly. Any instrument with almost entirely unnecessary modifications is manly (e.g. double-necked guitars).

This rule must have a proviso - ONLY if the instrument is being played to produce H-M-approved music. If the bass is a 12-string, doublenecked monstrosity that is being used to play, ugh, \*fusion \* - well, sorry, but your H-M card has just been revoked. Same with drums - if it is Neil Peart, then of course, you’re in. If it is, oh, the Dave Matthews Band - forget it; you can play a drum set that has 50 components, but you’re not H-M (sorry Carter Beaufort!). Of course Jimmy Page playing a doubleneck certainly qualifies as H-M.

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**Author:** ![SSG\_Schwartz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SSG\_Schwartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SSG_Schwartz)\
**Post date:** [February 5, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-male-rules-and-protocol/389317/242 "2007-02-05T23:11:03Z")

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On a related note [double guitar solo](http://www.deanguitars.com/angelo/) (Sound pops up) are Hetro-Male, always.

Triple guitar solos are truly UH-M.

Sgt Schwartz

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**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\
**Post date:** [February 5, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-male-rules-and-protocol/389317/243 "2007-02-05T23:17:23Z")

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[QUOTE=saoirse]  
I think for “exegesis,” you need to use “motherfucker.”  
[/QUOTE]  
Why don’t you go exegesis yourself, you exegesisy, uh, exegesissy.

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