# Hetero males: Modern family's Claire or Gloria? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710 "2013-12-06T21:57:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/1 "2013-12-06T21:57:37Z")
From an attraction point of view (looks & character) which do you prefer? ---
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/2 "2013-12-06T22:01:08Z")
I didn’t vote because I think they’re equally beautiful (and equally out of my league)! ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/3 "2013-12-06T22:26:34Z")
Claire by a mile! ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/4 "2013-12-06T22:31:29Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > Claire by a mile! Me too. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/5 "2013-12-06T22:33:06Z")
I think the actress who plays Claire is insanely good looking. She looks better now than she did in Happy Gilmore. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/6 "2013-12-06T22:45:14Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > I think the actress who plays Claire is insanely good looking. She looks better now than she did in Happy Gilmore. I’ve always had a thing for Julie Bowen, she’s improved with age. She gets my vote. Sofía Vergara is insanely hot too, but I had to go with Julie. That’s from a looks point of view. The character vote would probably be the same. ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/7 "2013-12-06T22:45:30Z")
[Reference for those who need it.](http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/wenn2979448.jpg) You know, I never really thought much about Clair until in one of the early episodes they showed her roaming around in Haley’s room in her bra and panties (she was looking for something.). Boy I sure took notice then. Still though, I’ll take Gloria because she’s probably a freak in the bedroom. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/8 "2013-12-06T22:59:11Z")
**Shakes** : link broken. And…yeah, I need a reference. I’ve never even heard of the show or the characters. ---
**Author:** ![Arrendajo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Arrendajo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arrendajo)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/9 "2013-12-06T22:59:26Z")
Gloria boobs too big. Claire blonde prefer dark hair. Can I mix n’ match? ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/10 "2013-12-06T23:03:58Z")
I’d rather go with the blonde Marge Simpson with implants than the loud hot-tempered Latina stereotype with implants, especially after seeing both without makeup. Also agree on Julie Bowen having gotten better looking, except for the implants which look horrible except when they’re covered by a (always tight) shirt. They’re far too balloon-y for her body type and remind me of late 80s porn. Bowen was probably at her best looking when she was on Boston Legal: [http://cartoonmag.altervista.org/images/stories/ino/julie\_bowen.jpg](http://cartoonmag.altervista.org/images/stories/ino/julie_bowen.jpg) It reminds me of a Louie episode (season 2, episode 7) where the titular character gets a very stereotypical family sitcom and the blonde actress that plays his much more attractive wife says: “This is my last go around, alright. I am 38 years old […] in another couple of years, these big tits are gonna look stupid.” ---
**Author:** ![epbrown01](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ba0ec/32.png) [@epbrown01](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/epbrown01)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/11 "2013-12-06T23:05:57Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > **Shakes** : link broken. And…yeah, I need a reference. I’ve never even heard of the show or the characters. [Here’s](http://spectacularbitch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/modernfamily.jpg) a pic. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/12 "2013-12-06T23:32:14Z")
At first I was going to say Claire, but then I realized Claire manages to combine insecurity AND being a control freak. Then I thought Gloria, but Gloria is high-maintenance, which is only kept in check because Jay has money. So based on character, I choose neither. Based on looks, definitely Claire! ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 6, 2013, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/13 "2013-12-06T23:36:44Z")
Gloria by a country mile, in both looks and personality. ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/14 "2013-12-07T00:09:07Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > [Here’s](http://spectacularbitch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/modernfamily.jpg) a pic. Ah… Which is Claire? ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/15 "2013-12-07T00:13:19Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Ah… Which is Claire? [The blonde.](http://us.cdn283.fansshare.com/photos/juliebowen/julie-bowen-at-white-house-correspondents-association-dinner-in-washington-1854820738.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/16 "2013-12-07T00:13:20Z")
> [@Trinopus](#): > > Ah… Which is Claire? If you don’t know, then you can’t judge based on character (which is part of the question in the poll) ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/17 "2013-12-07T00:32:07Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > Gloria boobs too big. > Claire blonde prefer dark hair. > Can I mix n’ match? You can mix n’ match, but only because Sofia’s actually a natural blonde. ---
**Author:** ![SCAdian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scadian/32/3292_2.png) [@SCAdian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCAdian)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/18 "2013-12-07T00:36:29Z")
> [@epbrown01](#): > > [Here’s](http://spectacularbitch.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/modernfamily.jpg) a pic. Which one’s which? ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/19 "2013-12-07T00:37:17Z")
> [@SCAdian](#): > > Which one’s which? Claire/Julie Bowen on the left. Gloria/Sofia Vergara on the right. ---
**Author:** ![zoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zoid/32/336_2.png) [@zoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zoid)\ **Post date:** [December 7, 2013, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/20 "2013-12-07T00:57:37Z")
Gloria. I have a weak spot for dark hair and big boobs. _sigh_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710.md?page=2)