# Hetero males: Modern family's Claire or Gloria? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [December 6, 2013, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710 "2013-12-06T21:57:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/41 "2013-12-09T18:33:57Z")
Moving from IMHO to Cafe Society. ---
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/42 "2013-12-09T20:14:56Z")
Yeah, I’m also surprised that the voting is so close. IMHO, Gloria on MF is to Jennifer on WKRP. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/43 "2013-12-09T20:17:00Z")
Translation for the non-old, please? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/44 "2013-12-09T20:27:02Z")
Claire but not by much. Both are insanely hot but Julie Bowen is more my type. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/45 "2013-12-09T20:27:17Z")
Jennifer was the blonde pretty receptionist on WKRP who was implied to be a gold-digger kind of person while Bailey was mousier and brunette. [Pic.](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ljPjeC0s80g/SNhKcewa_sI/AAAAAAAABOw/hRYBG3TO71g/s1600-h/wkrp_jennifer_bailey.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![Labtrash](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/labtrash/32/528_2.png) [@Labtrash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labtrash)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/46 "2013-12-09T20:35:42Z")
Claire by a longshot. She’s been on my list since _Happy Gilmore_ _Happy Place, Happy Place…_ ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 8:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/47 "2013-12-09T20:43:02Z")
Gloria. It ain’t even close. ---
**Author:** ![muldoonthief](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldoonthief/32/3188_2.png) [@muldoonthief](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/muldoonthief)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/48 "2013-12-09T20:52:49Z")
> [@ducati](#): > > Sofia all the way. Julie was cute back in Happy Gilmore times, but hasn’t aged well, IMHO. > She’s still trim and cute, but a bit too severe for me. > > Curvy, buxom brunettes hold a special place in my heart, even though [they may not meet original factory specs](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WzbWKdEajLA)… I watched that video twice before I realized she wasn’t speaking English. ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [December 9, 2013, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/49 "2013-12-09T21:11:51Z")
Claire. I also prefer Mary-Ann and Betty Rubble. ---
**Author:** ![corkboard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e9bcb4/32.png) [@corkboard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/corkboard)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/50 "2013-12-11T14:25:10Z")
> [@Inner\_Stickler](#): > > Jennifer was the blonde pretty receptionist on WKRP who was implied to be a gold-digger kind of person while Bailey was mousier and brunette. [Pic.](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_ljPjeC0s80g/SNhKcewa_sI/AAAAAAAABOw/hRYBG3TO71g/s1600-h/wkrp_jennifer_bailey.jpg) Right, and yet it was Bailey that I crushed on back in the day. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_other_waldo_pepper/32/12370_2.png) [@The\_Other\_Waldo\_Pepper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Other_Waldo_Pepper)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/51 "2013-12-11T14:37:55Z")
Claire over Gloria, Sofia over Julie. ---
**Author:** ![Sterling\_Archer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Sterling\_Archer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterling_Archer)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/52 "2013-12-11T15:36:36Z")
This poll should have included Haley. ---
**Author:** ![tullsterx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e9bcb4/32.png) [@tullsterx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tullsterx)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/53 "2013-12-11T15:38:56Z")
Sofía Vergara is just too hot. Claire is a little more competitive than I initially thought, but no, it has to be Gloria for me. ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/54 "2013-12-11T15:43:38Z")
> [@corkboard](#): > > Right, and yet it was Bailey that I crushed on back in the day. When I was looking up WKRP stuff (because I am younger than RNATB and as far as I’m concerned the world started spinning in 1992) I found a dope thread from a few years ago that is basically this thread except with Bailey and Jennifer and that one went almost entirely for Bailey. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/55 "2013-12-11T16:18:56Z")
> [@Sterling\_Archer](#): > > This poll should have included Haley. Is Haley the daughter? Isn’t she, like, 16? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/56 "2013-12-11T16:19:55Z")
The actress is in her early 20s and the character is in her late teens or very early 20s. ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 10:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/57 "2013-12-11T22:22:32Z")
> [@Sterling\_Archer](#): > > This poll should have included Haley. As amazing as Haley is, she’s not in the same category as the other two, due to (1) age [she has an unfair advantage in looks and a disadvantage in maturity], and (2) marriage status. For the latter, I mean that, as a character, we haven’t seen her interact with a husband over a few seasons, so we can’t decide whether she is attractive as a long term partner and mother (like we can with Claire and Gloria) ---
**Author:** ![Bumbershoot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bumbershoot/32/3428_2.png) [@Bumbershoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bumbershoot)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/58 "2013-12-11T23:43:00Z")
Gloria, without a doubt. Claire is too skinny. Edit: And as for personality, **Tim R. Mortiss** summed it up pretty well: > [@](#): > > Claire is a bitch. Gloria is a freak (in a good way; can you imagine her in heat?). I’ll take the freak any day, and hope I live to tell the tale. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/59 "2013-12-11T23:46:08Z")
Haley’s pretty cute but not in the same league, as mentioned above. [Here’s a pic for anyone that doesn’t watch the show.](http://www.wallpapers-photos.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Sarah-Hyland-photo-gallery.jpg) She’s just turned 23 in real life. ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2013, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710/60 "2013-12-11T23:51:49Z")
> [@River\_Hippie](#): > > Haley’s pretty cute but not in the same league, as mentioned above. [Here’s a pic for anyone that doesn’t watch the show.](http://www.wallpapers-photos.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Sarah-Hyland-photo-gallery.jpg) She’s just turned 23 in real life. It wasn’t said that she’s not in the same league, just a different category due to age. For my tastes, she’s prettier than Claire, although Gloria still has her beat. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-males-modern-familys-claire-or-gloria/675710.md?page=4)