# Hetero Men: Would you prefer a traditional woman as a partner? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 14, 2012, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652 "2012-09-14T01:08:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![scootergirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e99b99/32.png) [@scootergirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scootergirl)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/21 "2012-09-14T07:08:24Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > That doesn’t look very traditional to me at all. All of the above seem good, except I’ve no problem with a woman “pestering” me for sex; I’d think that _most_ men would take it as a compliment. > > Well, I’d certainly prefer a woman who looks pretty good and tries to stay that way, but “hugely prioritizes” sounds like it would be unhealthy, expensive and irritating. > > Subservience makes my skin crawl. And if she’s my “partner”, then it’s our household, not my household. I can’t “delegate” authority to her that is already hers. Very nicely said. ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/22 "2012-09-14T07:15:57Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > I strongly suspect that in this anonymous poll most heterosexual men would prefer a a partner that I’m not going to define much more clearly than this: > > \*she hugely prioritizes her physical beauty, even after child birth and during child rearing > \*she is your complete confidant in any matter > \*furthermore she gives you excellent advice when you ask her questions you are clueless of the answer, especially questions you see as female ones > \*she is constantly sexually attacted to you and while never pestering you for sex, is keen for it all the time > \*you can delegate any or all aspects of running your household to her, with the following caveat: > \*ultimately, she is subservient to you. That is not to say necessarily she is meek and incapable of expressing her opinion, just that if there is a conflict your word rules > > I have a theory about the answers but we’ll see if they fit it. Um some of those are basic requirements for a relationship. 1.I do want a woman who takes care of herself. 2.Why would I want a partner who I can’t confide in? 3.Why would I want a partner that gives horrible advice or won’t answer questions? 4.Why would I want a woman who was uninterested in sex as a partner? 5.I’d want a partner that has some sense and understands this is a partnership, I do get really angry when a woman thinks she is making a feminist stand by being a princess dating a butler, fuck that bullshit. Just as I sometimes pick up the slack she has to too. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/23 "2012-09-14T07:45:43Z")
I’m a heterosexual man and I would be completely unattracted to the woman you describe. I generally prefer women who are attractive but don’t “preen”: minimal or no makeup, simple hairstyle, comfortable with who she is rather than overly concerned with appearance. For some reason, a woman who noticeably spends a great deal of time on her appearance is a huge turnoff for me, even if the result in terms of appearance is good. Whether she just springs out of bed naturally gorgeous or somehow manages to create the illusion of such, I guess I don’t really care (and hopefully don’t know). I hate the _appearance_ of superficiality. (Ironic, I know!) I also much prefer women who are strong and independent. While I like being able to take care of a woman, I hate neediness and subservience. When I take care of a woman I want it to feel like a luxury, something special to show that I care, or because its her birthday or she’s sick. It absolutely shouldn’t be the expected norm. If I think she needs or expects someone to take care of her all or most of the time, I run the other way. Not interested. And I’m absolutely not interested in being the “final word” for anyone other than myself. ETA: Forgot to mention: I think a majority of men probably do want (or are ambivalent towards) the characteristics you described, but not a large majority. I also think it is somewhat concentrated in immigrant, minority, and lower socio-economic communities. I also think that relationships like that will continue to become less and less prevalent, but I don’t think they will ever die out. I think a sizable number of men will always want that sort of thing, even if most eventually won’t. ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 7:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/24 "2012-09-14T07:54:37Z")
Too late to edit again, but I also wanted to add regarding sex: a woman who is always amenable to sex is a good thing, but a woman who sometimes demands sex is much, much better! ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/25 "2012-09-14T08:38:11Z")
Count me as someone else who is puzzled by the title and the descriptions. I had no idea that a traditional woman was supposed to : > [@](#): > > \*she hugely prioritizes her physical beauty, even after child birth and during child rearing That’s simply silly. I know many woman who I would consider “traditional” who don’t prioritize physical beauty. I know many women who would likely be considered nontraditional who care about their appearances. What really makes me wonder are these > [@](#): > > \*she is your complete confidant in any matter > \*furthermore she gives you excellent advice when you ask her questions you are clueless of the answer, especially questions you see as female ones WTF? If I ask my wife for something which I don’t understand, is she supposed to either refuse to answer me or turn in her nontraditional wife card? How does this work? Only “traditional” women are confidants? “Nontraditional” wives ignore husbands? > [@](#): > > \*she is constantly sexually attacted to you and while never pestering you for sex, is keen for it all the time Mnnn. OK, we’ve gone past traditional and nontraditional into fantasy land. > [@](#): > > \*you can delegate any or all aspects of running your household to her, with the following caveat: Now we’re off into sexist land. It’s the guy’s household and she gets responsibilities delegated to her rather than being a joint household who divide responsibilities up. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/26 "2012-09-14T08:58:28Z")
Can someone tell me what a “female question” is? ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/27 "2012-09-14T13:22:28Z")
> [@sandra\_nz](#): > > Can someone tell me what a “female question” is? Hmmmm. Questions on purely female biological issues like pregnancy and breast feeding come to mind. And if you have girl children a woman is the logical person to ask for advice on how to raise them. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/28 "2012-09-14T13:48:07Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Hmmmm. Questions on purely female biological issues like pregnancy and breast feeding come to mind. A traditional man would never want to know about such shameful things. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/29 "2012-09-14T13:52:36Z")
So the OP is asking if hetero men want a hot, smart chick who begs them for sex, cooks & keeps the house clean, gives good advice, and knows enough to shut the fuck up when The Man has a difference of opinion with her. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![gallows\_fodder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8c91f0/32.png) [@gallows\_fodder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gallows_fodder)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/30 "2012-09-14T14:12:21Z")
Oh no, doesn’t beg – that would be unseemly. She’s just in a constant state of passive arousal, waiting for you to make a move whenever you feel like it, on your time, and never turning you down. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/31 "2012-09-14T14:22:21Z")
Oh but but those traditionalists are sneaky,and no angels. Love her homecooking but piss her off and she spits in your food. Warning if she is always ready for sex with YOU, know that she also flirts with the UPS dudes & makes eyes at your father, brother & best friend. She may play dumb, but she knows all your secrets, passwords and porn sites too. Just when you think you’ve got it all she flips will leave you after ten years…for some slacker with no ass and no biceps who worships the ground she walks on. But hey it was a good grind while you got it on, move on! ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/32 "2012-09-14T14:26:07Z")
Are we talking “traditional” or “Stepford?” ---
**Author:** ![grude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/e47774/32.png) [@grude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grude)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/33 "2012-09-14T14:29:30Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Love her homecooking but piss her off and she spits in your food. ! Is that something any husband would actually care about? Hell if my wife told me she pissed in my coffee I’d be slightly intrigued. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/34 "2012-09-14T15:13:58Z")
> [@pravnik](#): > > Are we talking “traditional” or “Stepford?” Neither. > [@](#): > > \*she is your complete confidant in any matter > \*furthermore she gives you excellent advice when you ask her questions you are clueless of the answer, especially questions you see as female ones That’s not much like the “traditional” wife, and even less like a Stepford wife. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/35 "2012-09-14T15:15:19Z")
> [@Arrendajo](#): > > It is odd that you mention “traditional women” in the the thread title, then go on to list characteristics that I would not associate with my definition of a traditional woman. It’s backlash syndrome. “Traditional women” are a lot more traditional now than they were back when they were just “women.” ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/36 "2012-09-14T15:36:06Z")
The OP is using “traditional woman” as shorthand for “a woman who caters her life around me and expects nothing in return except my cock.” In reality, traditional women expect much more than this, and many in fact could do away with the cock and be perfectly okay with that since sex is a thing they are taught to believe is an obligation, bodily function, or bartering commodity rather than an exciting experience they are entitled to enjoy. I don’t know too many men nowadays who want to be the sole breadwinner of their households, but that is what many traditional women expect. Many also expect their men will completely fund their shopping escapades and buy them expensive presents to keep them happy. So not only is the OP misrepresenting the “traditional woman” archetype, he’s only telling half the story. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/37 "2012-09-14T15:51:47Z")
> [@chela](#): > > Warning if she is always ready for sex with YOU, know that she also flirts with the UPS dudes & makes eyes at your father, brother & best friend. Gee, it’s almost enough to make a guy wish for a frigid Bridget for whom sex is only a wifely duty. Hegemonic femininity FTW! > [@](#): > > Just when you think you’ve got it all she flips will leave you after ten years…for some slacker with no ass and no biceps who worships the ground she walks on. Excuse me, bub, I think I resent that. I haven’t found my high-mileage honey yet, but I _am_ a no-bicep slacker and I _would_ worship my woman…not the ground, but the closest part of her to it (I’m also a card-carrying foot fetishist). ---
**Author:** ![AHunter3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ahunter3/32/368_2.png) [@AHunter3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AHunter3)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/38 "2012-09-14T16:06:40Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > Subservience makes my skin crawl. And if she’s my “partner”, then it’s our household, not my household. I can’t “delegate” authority to her that is already hers. ^^^^^ this. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/39 "2012-09-14T17:35:04Z")
> [@you\_with\_the\_face](#): > > The OP is using “traditional woman” as shorthand for “a woman who caters her life around me and expects nothing in return except my cock.” Awesome. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [September 14, 2012, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652/40 "2012-09-14T18:43:39Z")
> [@Simple\_Linctus](#): > > I strongly suspect that in this anonymous poll most heterosexual men would prefer a a partner that I’m not going to define much more clearly than this: > > \*she hugely prioritizes her physical beauty, even after child birth and during child rearing > \*she is your complete confidant in any matter > \*furthermore she gives you excellent advice when you ask her questions you are clueless of the answer, especially questions you see as female ones > \*she is constantly sexually attacted to you and while never pestering you for sex, is keen for it all the time > \*you can delegate any or all aspects of running your household to her, with the following caveat: > \*ultimately, she is subservient to you. That is not to say necessarily she is meek and incapable of expressing her opinion, just that if there is a conflict your word rules > > I have a theory about the answers but we’ll see if they fit it. Snort! If I showed this to Pepper Mill, she’d laugh derisively. She certainly doesn’t hugely prioritize her physical beauty, and never did. I take her as she comes. She is a complete confidant and gives excellent advice, but her idea of what constutes “female questions” might not line up with “traditional” ideas. I think she ios constantly attracted to me, but she is no more “keen for it all the time” than I am. Human beings have “down time”, too. I can “delegate any aspect of running the household to her” and “She is subservient”? No way. She’d have something to say about whose responsibility different aspects of the household are. So I certainly don’t have a “traditional woman”. I certainly don’t think I’d want to be married to such a creature. Even if she did all the things i wanted, I’d suspect that she had hidden feelings and ideas, and even if she didn’t express them, I’d suspect that she was keeping them hidden, and being uncomfortable about it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hetero-men-would-you-prefer-a-traditional-woman-as-a-partner/634652.md?page=3)