# Heterosexuals: can you generally tell whether someone of the same sex is attractive? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 8, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363 "2010-06-08T00:10:08Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![VarlosZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d78d45/32.png) [@VarlosZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VarlosZ)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/61 "2010-06-08T20:45:48Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > There’s a fallacy in the premise of this poll. The implication is that gay people are in agreement about attractiveness, and it is definitely not true. The fallacy in the premise of my poll is the implication that all people are in agreement about the attractiveness of their preferred gender; gay or straight has nothing to do with it. Obviously that’s not the case, but I think there’s enough consensus out there to make the question not completely meaningless. ---
**Author:** ![PsyXe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/54ee81/32.png) [@PsyXe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PsyXe)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/62 "2010-06-08T22:07:54Z")
Perhaps there are a number of factors at play here: Women’s preferences in men might be more quirky than men’s preferences in women (WRT Robbie Williams, for me it’s a certain sexy curl to the mouth) Women look at women more than men look at men (Men’s magazines are full of semi-clad women. Women’s magazines? Full of semi-clad women.) Women aren’t as culturally inhibited about a) finding another woman attractive and b) admitting it as men are about other men. For me it’s not so much about having a perfectly-functioning hot-or-not-meter, but simply having a mental picture of what’s attractive in the same sex. Weirdly, my preferences seem to mirror my husband’s almost exactly. Does this mean that women like women who remind them of themselves? I’m not sure. ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/63 "2010-06-08T22:29:26Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > You and a dozen other people in this thread have said that this is a pointless exercise because of how subjective attractiveness is. While that’s true, there are definitely people who are, in general, considered attractive. Them’s the breaks, unfortunately. Look at all the women who’ve responded that they can tell if other women are attractive or not. Isn’t it subjective with women, too? Of course it is. But they can still tell if a woman is going to generally be considered attractive or not. I lack the ability to discern the same among other men. Yeah I totally get you. I can discern whether a man is generally to be considered attractive. I guess the point may be that different parties may look at it concerning “their” type. Like I know this guy is attractive.. [StockExaminer - AI-Powered Stock Chatbot](http://image3.examiner.com/images/blog/EXID25804/images/JimMorrison.jpg) And I’m pretty clear that this guy is was special due to say more so his personality than his straight up looks.. [http://www.premierlistnyc.com/images/john%20candy.jpg](http://www.premierlistnyc.com/images/john%20candy.jpg) As for Daniel Craig.. i would like to trade places with him for a weekend.. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/64 "2010-06-08T23:32:46Z")
> [@PsyXe](#): > > Perhaps there are a number of factors at play here: > > Women’s preferences in men might be more quirky than men’s preferences in women For me, it’s just the opposite. My own taste in women seems to be rather quirky, and so I don’t even really care what the consensus opinion is. It’s not my job to cast movies; it doesn’t matter to me if every other guy in the world goes weak-in-the-knees for Angelina Jolie. More than one of my female friends have confessed to crushing on Mike Rowe from _Dirty Jobs_, but I don’t see him on the cover of People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” issue. I’ve got enough to worry about with the women I lust after. Trying to figure out what other people want, male of female, can be interesting sometimes, but it’s ultimately fruitless. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2010, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/65 "2010-06-08T23:42:57Z")
> [@Roland\_Orzabal](#): > > A claim of the sort hypothesized in this thread, that they lacked the ability to even offer an opinion, I would take with a grain of salt and a :dubious:, but that’s not what I’d assume the average Joe means when he says this. When I say I can’t tell, I mean exactly that – I have no fricking clue if women would find the guy attractive or not. Sure, I have the ability to offer an opinion, but it would be little different from my opinion as to what the next card in face-down deck would be. Every now and then I’ll guess right, but I’m wrong a hell of a lot more often. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/66 "2010-06-09T00:16:13Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > This. By way of example, I would love to have Daniel Craig’s physique, but I personally consider his face kind of ugly. This opinion seems to be unknown among women. There are quite a few women right here on the dope who agree with you - he was once the subject of a CF thread with divided opinion about if he’s good looking or not. He does have a great body, and while his face is not _ugly_, I wouldn’t look twice at his face if he wasn’t famous. ---
**Author:** ![kittenblue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ba8739/32.png) [@kittenblue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kittenblue)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/67 "2010-06-09T01:40:33Z")
I came in here to say that attractive and sexy are two different things entirely…but then **Robot Arm** mentioned Mike Rowe and I lost my train of thought… ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/68 "2010-06-09T03:01:44Z")
> [@kittenblue](#): > > I came in here to say that attractive and sexy are two different things entirely…but then **Robot Arm** mentioned Mike Rowe and I lost my train of thought… What is it about Mike Rowe? If you’d seen him before he was on TV, would you still find him attractive? Is it the rugged persona that makes him attractive? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/69 "2010-06-09T04:15:43Z")
I’m a stright male. I have no problem telling that those on the extreme scale of attractiveness are attractive. In other words I can tell who the 9 and 10s are. I have a much harder time telling the difference between a 4 and 8. As a newly single male with female friends who have tried to set him up I can say that most women have no fucking clue what men find attractive. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/70 "2010-06-09T06:03:50Z")
> [@OpalCat](#): > > I’ve always thought it very strange when guys say they can’t tell if other guys are attractive. I mean, we’re all subjected to the same media bombardment and so on, right? We’ve had all the stereotypes drilled into us for both genders. Not with me. My taste in men is extremely idiosyncratic, yet i’m subjected to the same stereotypes as everyone else. I just don’t respond to many “mainstream” guys. And I’m far from unique in this respect. My response to women, though more esthetic than sexual, is somewhat closer to mainstream. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/71 "2010-06-09T06:06:53Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > This. By way of example, I would love to have Daniel Craig’s physique, but I personally consider his face kind of ugly. This opinion seems to be unknown among women. Interesting. I (gay man) am attracted to his face, but his body is too muscular for my taste. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 8:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/72 "2010-06-09T08:55:22Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > Not with me. My taste in men is extremely idiosyncratic, yet i’m subjected to the same stereotypes as everyone else. I just don’t respond to many “mainstream” guys. And I’m far from unique in this respect. Mine is as well, but I’m still able to look at a person and generally be able to tell if mainstream tastes will find them attractive. I often don’t find the traditionally handsome/beautiful people personally attractive but I recognize that they are widely considered to be. ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/73 "2010-06-09T16:31:59Z")
I didn’t vote because I’m bisexual, not heterosexual. BUT I’m not generally attracted to femme women. I tend not to find very many people personally/sexually attractive, but I can certainly recognize why other people would find various people handsome, pretty, sexy, etc. It’s pretty damn subjective though… Still, there is a baseline for noticeable attractiveness in both sexes that I think most people have an intuitive sense of. This includes: good skin, a fairly proportionate figure with some features that clearly stand out as masculine or feminine (broad shoulders, muscular arms/back, narrower hips for men and pronounced breasts, curvy hips/ass/thighs or small ribcage and waist for women), average or above height for men, little excess fat (except in the ‘right places’ for women) for either sex, not being skinny to the point of looking ill or fragile, a full head of hair that is styled appropriately for the times, and fairly symmetrical and proportionate features that are typical for each sex (big noses or very thin lips on women, and weak chins and jaws on men, are generally discriminated against). > [@Sigmagirl](#): > > I don’t get it with models. Who decided that Kate Moss was especially beautiful? She’s not homely, but I know many women as good-looking as she is. Devon Aoki? Unusual looking, striking, but I’m not seeing it. With models, it’s more that they are picking from an already tiny pool of people: young girls 5’8" and taller, with unusually small frames, who are unusually thin - AND have attractive-to-beautiful faces. Lately with the trend for models who are so thin they look ill (rare in healthy people and difficult to maintain even with an eating disorder), it’s more pronounced. There are girls on the runway with downright ugly faces. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/74 "2010-06-09T16:47:48Z")
> [@bordelond](#): > > Think of it as evaluating a set of features. No single one of them, individually, is an instant _YOWSA!_ from the whole of womankind, but each adds some points to a guy’s Physical Attractiveness Quotient. Note that NOT possessing any one of these features does not necessarily count negatively … the gestalt trumps all. > > - Relatively tall > - Overall athletic build > - Physical stature that conveys “power” (tall + “big-boned” + an extra 20 lbs, short + buff, etc.) > - “Strong-looking” shoulders, chest, arms, and hands (this can mean “obvious muscle mass”, “wirey, toned, and tight”, or a combination) > - Dark hair/complexion (highly culturally dependant, though) > - Blue, gray, or green eyes when paired with dark hair > - Non-squinty eyes (don’t have to be big eyes) > - Square jaw > - Strong chin of some sort (dimpled, prominent bone structure, etc.) > - A distinctive nose (e.g. aquiline noses get attention) The body stuff is easy. It’s the face part that’s difficult. > [@elfkin477](#): > > There are quite a few women right here on the dope who agree with you - he was once the subject of a CF thread with divided opinion about if he’s good looking or not. He does have a great body, and while his face is not _ugly_, I wouldn’t look twice at his face if he wasn’t famous. Well, Doper women are a breed apart - while you are of course yourselves all lovely and intelligent and so on, you largely have quirky taste in men. Not that us Doper men don’t generally have quirky taste in women, too. > [@panache45](#): > > Interesting. I (gay man) am attracted to his face, but his body is too muscular for my taste. Well, it’s not just that I want to look like him. It would also be useful for lifting heavy things. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bordelond](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bordelond/32/150_2.png) [@bordelond](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bordelond)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/75 "2010-06-09T16:52:50Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > The body stuff is easy. It’s the face part that’s difficult. No worries – I’ve laid all that out for you up above 😃 Remember, also, that there’s an immense difference between “getting **A** woman” and “fighting women off with a stick”. Just because a plain guy is dating a hottie, he is not necessarily “attractive to women”. He’s (presumably) attractive to THAT SPECIFIC woman … and besides, it could be attraction to something intangible. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/76 "2010-06-09T17:30:50Z")
I am quite familiar with the process of picking up women, but thank you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/77 "2010-06-09T18:43:33Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I am quite familiar with the process of picking up women, but thank you. 😉 I’m not. ---
**Author:** ![shiftless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@shiftless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shiftless)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/78 "2010-06-09T21:15:44Z")
I’m a guy who picked can’t tell the difference. Part of that is that I don’t look at men in general. Maybe I would even find some of them (us) attractive if I looked at them that way, but I don’t, especially if there is an attractive women in the room. If my wife is typical then women THINK they know attractive from unattractive but that is not always the case. I am sure as hell not going to get in an arguement with my wife about her opinions on the beauty of a women with abundant cleaveage, but I will look and nod while she makes her point. ---
**Author:** ![Cyningablod](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9fc29f/32.png) [@Cyningablod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cyningablod)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/79 "2010-06-09T21:23:13Z")
At the university where I work, one of the IT guys is just gorgeous. I mean, like a Brazilian model, or something. I’m happily and completely straight, but this guy is just…beautiful. It’s hard not to stare at him. I’m comfortable enough in my heterosexuality to notice and appreciate masculine beauty. I’ve never felt weird about it, or anything. ---
**Author:** ![sachertorte](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sachertorte/32/3727_2.png) [@sachertorte](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sachertorte)\ **Post date:** [June 9, 2010, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363/80 "2010-06-09T21:49:38Z")
You know, this is one of those cases where a simple experiment could give insight. All you need is a bunch of photos of non-famous guys and have the guys rate them. Then have the women rate them, then compare notes. All the wonderful heterosexuals in this thread can participate. Maybe we non-heterosexuals can referee, or something. The internet is full of pictures of random people. I suggest non-random since people will generally “know” that certain famous people are attractive. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-can-you-generally-tell-whether-someone-of-the-same-sex-is-attractive/542363.md?page=5)