# Heterosexuals: Public Displays of Affection are unattractive when you do them, too **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004 "2003-07-26T01:30:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/21 "2003-07-26T02:25:01Z")
I _thought_ I could hear a whooshing sound. Adding the word “homophobes” to the title changes the OP completely. I retract all of my above posts. ---
**Author:** ![Chief\_Crunch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e8c25b/32.png) [@Chief\_Crunch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chief_Crunch)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/22 "2003-07-26T03:21:47Z")
I read the OP as intended and it made me sad. I can’t imagine what it must be like not to be able to display affection for the person you love without incurring the ire of closeminded assholes. Things that come so instinctively and without question for us heterosexuals. ---
**Author:** ![1000Voices](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/b3f665/32.png) [@1000Voices](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1000Voices)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/23 "2003-07-26T03:24:42Z")
Remember Aesop’s “The Fox Who Lost His Tail”? A fox loses his tail in an accident, and thereafter preaches to other foxes how convenient it is to be tailless, citing how much faster one could run, being less prone to capture by predators, etc. He continues this harangue until an older fox admonishes him saying, “You seem to want everyone to go tailless…but I suspect that your story would change immediately if you had the option of regaining your old tail back”. It sounds like nisosbar merely resents the fact that he/she/it cannot enjoy the simple pleasures of open affection in public, as open homosexual behavior is still not condoned by mainsteam America. A simple case of sour grapes (another Aesopian reference). And keep in mind what Dr. Marcia Screiber so aptly noted that "most people who dislike homosexuals are NOT homophobic, (AFRAID of homosexuals), but are in fact homoantramarthic (DISGUSTED by homosexuals). Her analogy was the cockroach: We know it can’t hurt us individually, except through the spread of disease. We are DISGUSTED by it, not FEARING it per se. So, cockroach, don’t glorify yoursely in the misconception that straight people fear you. Know the truth; you simply disgust them. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/24 "2003-07-26T03:36:37Z")
(Why am I bothering to say this? The original thread left the tracks a long time ago.) PDAs gross me out. I find public displays of ANY emotion gross and I don’t much care who is displaying it. It’s my Midwestern, Northern European upbringing. BTW, 1000Voices, while you make some valid points some qualifiers and a little less generalization might have saved you from the flamejob you earned. Welcome. It’s been nice knowing you. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/25 "2003-07-26T03:38:17Z")
> [@](#): > > We are DISGUSTED by it, not FEARING it per se. So, cockroach, don’t glorify yoursely in the misconception that straight people fear you. Know the truth; you simply disgust them. Waddaya mean “we”, pale face? ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/26 "2003-07-26T03:44:06Z")
I hate excessive PDAs between hetero/homo/bi whatever. God, get a ROOM! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/27 "2003-07-26T03:45:13Z")
Dammit, hit submit too soon! I also wanted to say… Basically, I thought the OP was talking about people who say, “I don’t care if people are gay, as long as they don’t ‘flaunt’ it”, meaning, actually mention being gay, or kiss their partner, etc. Was I wrong? ---
**Author:** ![Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e36b37/32.png) [@Airman\_Doors\_USAF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Airman_Doors_USAF)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/28 "2003-07-26T03:49:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nisosbar \* > \*\*I get so mad when I see heterosexuals kissing or being affectionate on the subway or in restaurants/in public! :mad: > > WTF is wrong with people? What happened to discretion? What happened to modesty?\*\* I agree with you 100%. I tend to practice the utmost discretion, even going so far as to tell Robin that I won’t kiss her in a public place, which really irritates the hell out of her. At best, I’ll hold hands, and even that makes me somewhat uncomfortable, since I’m a pretty private person around total strangers. If you’ve seen any of my older train wrecks here in the Pit , you’ll see that discretion is a big thing with me. Good thing I back it up in my own life, lest I open myself up for charges of hypocrasy. ---
**Author:** ![nisosbar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@nisosbar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nisosbar)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/29 "2003-07-26T04:01:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Dammit, hit submit too soon! I also wanted to say… > > Basically, I thought the OP was talking about people who say, “I don’t care if people are gay, as long as they don’t ‘flaunt’ it”, meaning, actually mention being gay, or kiss their partner, etc. > > Was I wrong? \*\* Good to see that my English skills have aged as well as my face… :smack: Yes, guin, those people would be included. I guess I was inspired to post this because I see hetero PDA’s all the time (and I really mean ALL THE TIME) and it makes me wonder how homophobes like 1000voices can be so arrogant as to suggest it’s okay to be publicly affectionate with their heterosexual partners and yet, at the same time, condemn gays and lesbians who publicly behave likewise with THEIR partners in front of them. It seems so 700 Club. ---
**Author:** ![nisosbar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c37758/32.png) [@nisosbar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nisosbar)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/30 "2003-07-26T04:03:35Z")
1000voices: is that your idea, or Dr. Screiber’s? I’m confused… 😕 ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/31 "2003-07-26T04:56:40Z")
“people” and “heterosexuals” are two separate groups." I feel so cheated. ---
**Author:** ![Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/angel_of_the_lord/32/2949_2.png) [@Angel\_of\_the\_Lord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Angel_of_the_Lord)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 4:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/32 "2003-07-26T04:59:22Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by nisosbar_ > **It does demonstrate that you are an ignorant, insecure person, and it is NOT ATTRACTIVE. IMO, people who do this are typically the same ones who bash gays and are the biggest homophobes on Earth. If you dislike seeing gays suck face and hold hands in front of you, don’t do it in front of complete strangers who may, in fact, be gay, lesbian or bisexual.** While it has become apparent that this is on some level a send up of people who see two guys kissing and go “eeewwwwies!” I do feel the need to speak up on this comment. My SO and I are affectionate, and are most certainly _not_ homophobic. There isn’t a correllation between the two, and, as long as someone doesn’t hold people of the opposite orientation to a double standard, I don’t think there’s any harm in a good public smootching. That being said, people who get annoyed at two guys or two girls kissing in public really piss me off. My sister–who is, at the moment, going through her “I’m bi, I’m bi, look at ME, I’m BI!” phase–used to get really annoyed when a same-sex couple kissed on TV (usually Tara and Willow from BtVS, sometimes the odd kiss on QaF when I watched at home), and I’d have to calmly point out to her that guy/girl couples did the same thing on TV shows that she watched. Hypocrisy is exceedinly irritating. ---
**Author:** ![Wolfian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/7ea924/32.png) [@Wolfian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wolfian)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/33 "2003-07-26T05:22:04Z")
I’m a bit lost. Could someone explain slowly in small words what’s happening here? It seems that the OPer is gay with poor taste in Friends (Rachel and Joey. No, no, no! Chandler and Phoebe.) and feels that people, specficly hetrosexuals, are engaging in PDAs just to make him feel bad. That sounds a bit paranoid to me. Perhaps **nisobar** is the “insecure” one here. Mabye I’m wrong. As I said, I’m confused. Little help? ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/34 "2003-07-26T05:42:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by 1000Voices \* > \*\*We are DISGUSTED by it, not FEARING it per se. So, cockroach, don’t glorify yoursely in the misconception that straight people fear you. Know the truth; you simply disgust them. \*\* I just read this fascinating book and I highly recommend it to you: **Final Exit** by Derek Humphrey. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/35 "2003-07-26T05:46:27Z")
Y’know… With nisobar’s two pit threads with the PDAs here and the fat woman who so offended his eyes he had to rant about it, I see a simple course of action: we need a massively obese straight couple to make out in front of nisobar as Bolero plays in the background. I think his head will pop like he was in the movie Scanners. Any takers on a pool for how many seconds until his cranium showers the walls? ---
**Author:** ![Ryle\_Dup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Ryle\_Dup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryle_Dup)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/36 "2003-07-26T05:57:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*Y’know… > > With nisobar’s two pit threads with the PDAs here and the fat woman who so offended his eyes he had to rant about it, I see a simple course of action: we need a massively obese straight couple to make out in front of nisobar as Bolero plays in the background. > > I think his head will pop like he was in the movie Scanners. > > Any takers on a pool for how many seconds until his cranium showers the walls? \*\* Frankly I don’t see that as a _bad_ thing. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 6:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/37 "2003-07-26T06:51:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > Any takers on a pool for how many seconds until his cranium showers the walls? But then he won’t be able to come back and bring pie! ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/38 "2003-07-26T07:04:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*But then he won’t be able to come back and bring pie! \*\* So, all those blackbirds will remain trapped? ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/39 "2003-07-26T07:21:43Z")
Oh, if only I knew where mockingbirds and blackbirds were in relation to each other on the food chain:D ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2003, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/40 "2003-07-26T07:22:48Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\*Oh, if only I knew where mockingbirds and blackbirds were in relation to each other on the food chain:D \*\* Eh… just _eat me_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004.md?page=3)