# Heterosexuals: Public Displays of Affection are unattractive when you do them, too **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 26, 2003, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004 "2003-07-26T01:30:27Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/61 "2003-07-29T03:25:02Z")
Well personally I agree with the OP. Hetrosexual PDAs are something I don’t want to see either. Or Gay or Lesbian PDAs. There are two categories of PDA’s, those between two People I find attractive, and those that have one involvee I don’t find attractive. I have long ago decided that I really don’t want to think about most people having sex. I carefully crafted a delusion that those whom I don’t find find attractive have no genitalia, and therefore no sex. PDAs start to encroach upon that happy belief of mine. And the inevitable slippery slope towards horrifying thoughts that people like Margret Thatcher, Golda Meir, Strom Thurmond, or Michael Jackson may have engaged in sex at one point in their lives, This is to be avoided at all costs The other case is two people who I find attractive. Being a straight guy that narrows it down to two women. Assuming that the women involved meet my particular standards for attractiveness, my mind will immeidiatly jump to the conclusion that they have genitalia. As you might imagine this thought is not entirely desirable in public, due to the simple fact that I then have less than 1% percent of my brain left to deal with details such as where I am going, what I’m doing, The truck heading straight for me and so on. I prefer to control my arousal for moments when I am prepared to deal with it. I say ban all PDAs ---
**Author:** ![Road\_Rash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a8b319/32.png) [@Road\_Rash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Road_Rash)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/62 "2003-07-29T03:46:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by nisosbar \* > \*\*I get so mad when I see heterosexuals kissing or being affectionate on the subway or in restaurants/in public! :mad: > > WTF is wrong with people? What happened to discretion? What happened to modesty? > > Contrary to what you may think, folks, your heterosexual public display of affection is not “cute”, does not make you Jennifer Aniston and Matt LeBlanc, does not demonstrate your supremacy over those not heterosexual, and it does not even demonstrate that you are heterosexual. > > It does demonstrate that you are an ignorant, insecure person, and it is NOT ATTRACTIVE. IMO, people who do this are typically the same ones who bash gays and are the biggest homophobes on Earth. If you dislike seeing gays suck face and hold hands in front of you, don’t do it in front of complete strangers who may, in fact, be gay, lesbian or bisexual. > > Thank you. \*\* I can’t help but think this is response to some other post. Personally, you can smooch with your boyfriend in front of me all you want. If I don’t like it, I will look elsewhere. No big deal. You are a heterphobe. I now worry that you will be waiting outside some bar, just waiting to club some guy who just might be making out with your favorite “fruit fly” (a girl who hangs out with gay guys-aka “fag hag”). That’s my guess what happened to you. Now you are ready to bitch slap some poor straight guy. ---
**Author:** ![Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clint_in_Wichita)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/63 "2003-07-29T16:33:20Z")
Close your eyes, or turn your head. Or both. Either option would expend less energy than having a coronary and crying about it. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/64 "2003-07-29T17:00:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Clint in Wichita \* > \*\*Close your eyes, or turn your head. Or both. > > Either option would expend less energy than having a coronary and crying about it. \*\* That’s the point that the OP is making, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![1000Voices](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/b3f665/32.png) [@1000Voices](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1000Voices)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/65 "2003-08-03T05:14:51Z")
After attempting to understand Nisobar’s reactions to the comments of others, I humbly offer words from Plutarch: Although the small boys toss rocks at the frogs only as a jest, the frogs, for their part, die in earnest… ---
**Author:** ![dctaz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9c0ed/32.png) [@dctaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dctaz)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 5:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/66 "2003-08-03T05:49:34Z")
gotta agree with some of you here. most acts of PDA, exceed a peck on the cheek, and go into the bounds of “get a room” rather quickly. I do not like to see ANYONE doing that. I will give my sweetie a peck on the cheek before I leave his office after lunch, and when I first get there, but then he is out in the office. we don’t do that at my job, because I am not really out, and also work in a rather public environment. so, guess that puts me in a bit of a hipocritical area,:smack: but we do NOT go into hevy makeout mode in public, save that for when we are alone in private zones. 😃 so put me basically in the camp of PDA for anoyone bad. tazboy ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/67 "2003-08-03T18:58:22Z")
As long as PDA’s are done in good taste I have no problem with them. However, if you’re trying to surgically implant your tongue down your partner’s throat and/or dry humping each other in the street (seems to be what passes for ‘dancing’ nowadays, unfortunately) you might want to get a room. Don’t be uncouth, in other words, regardless of your sexual preferences. ---
**Author:** ![Infectious\_Lass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e56c9b/32.png) [@Infectious\_Lass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infectious_Lass)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/68 "2003-08-03T19:48:39Z")
I hate pdas too. The comment about people who hate them are people who can’t have them-that’s true at least it was for me. Back when I was really depressed and totally unable to have a relationship with another human being, the site of two smug lovebirds snogging/walking along with thier hands down each other’s pants/ etc would inspire me to great depression and rage. Yeah I was jealous. So what? The fact was, back then I thought I would die a virgin and never have a romantic relationship. Having those smug lovebirds do that in front of me was twisting the knife, pouring acid into the wound. It was fucking cruel. It was like they were jeering at me "We have it and you don’t! HA HA HA! loser! Virgin! People who go on about ‘oh how can you object to people showing affection?’ - to you I say there’s a big difference between showing affection and inappropriate exhibitionism. You can show affection and be discreet and considerate of other people’s feelings. When you are practically doing foreplay in public (as I have seen) it is _not_ reasonable or appropriate. Honestly I think people who carry on like that in public should see a psychiatrist. It isn’t normal behaviour. ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/69 "2003-08-03T23:08:59Z")
I agree with most of what you said **Lass** , but I’m not sure that excessive PDA’ing is a sign of mental illness. Self-centered egotism–yes, absolutely; tinfoil hat-wearing, talking to/channelling Napoleon nuttiness–nope. 😉 I do think that people that tend to dry hump, etc. in public are making a (probably unintentional) statement that they’re in a purely physical, shallow relationship however. If you actually cared about your partner and weren’t interested in putting on a show I’m thinking you wouldn’t want them to look so ridiculous in public. IMO based on personal experience and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/70 "2003-08-04T03:46:55Z")
And all those damned pregnant women! I mean, Jesus sister, could you be any more obvious that you been putting out? Oh, and no PRIVATE displays of affection, as well, until you save up enough egg cartons to line your bedroom so we don’t have to hear it through the walls. And while we’re at it, no eating in public either. Disgusting! You think I don’t know that stuff eventually comes out your asshole as shit? ---
**Author:** ![Wabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ba9def/32.png) [@Wabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wabbit)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/71 "2003-08-04T04:48:44Z")
So you’re advocating copulating and shitting in public there **slithy**? Figured one wild-assed, from-waaay-out-in-left-field post deserved another. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/72 "2003-08-04T15:17:52Z")
Oh, if **slithy** has a sense of humor at all, s/he will take this: > [@](#): > > So you’re advocating copulating and shitting in public there slithy? …as a new sig. Anyhow. If the OP **had** been titled “Heterosexual homophobes:…etc.” I would agree. If you’re homophobic but you are attached to your girlfriend/boyfriend by several tentacled\* suckers and a red, wet creature has sewn your faces together at the mouth while you’re walking through your local _mall_, you’re kind of an idiot anyhow. Your objection to two men or two women lightly pecking each other on the cheek, having a quick smooch, or holding hands in front of you is monstrously hypocritical as well as idiotic. I don’t think anyone in this thread (except **Esprix** \*\*) is advocating public dry-humping (or humping, for that matter). I think everyone in this thread (except **Airman Doors** \*\*) agrees that it should be okay if I give my husband OR my girlfriend a small smooch in line at the store. Can we at least be agreed on those points? - “Tentacle” translates to “testicle” in my mind sometimes as a result of a mnemonic for remembering psychology homework in college. That makes this mental image _truly_ disturbing. \*\* Not intended with any malice. ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004/73 "2003-08-04T15:40:00Z")
…And that breathing…that ‘in and out,’ ‘in and out,’ ‘in and out’ thing you do with your chest…stop it…it really creeps me out.\* \*With a nod to Ellen Degeneres [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/heterosexuals-public-displays-of-affection-are-unattractive-when-you-do-them-too/191004.md?page=3)