# Hey, ad people-- words mean things!!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 23, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225 "2008-10-23T16:55:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2008, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/81 "2008-10-27T14:18:40Z")
> [@Jaglavak](#): > > Well I’m no gentleman but here goes: never have eaten shaving cream. > But one foggy morning I did accidentally put hand lotion on my toothbrush. > So I went back to bed. I was kind of glad my facial cleanser had taste, one particular similarly-foggy morning. \ See, we’d bought this toothpaste with an orange flavor, just to see what it was like, plus none of that variety’s mint flavors sounded good. I don’t recall right now if we did in fact have it at that exact time, but we’d had it previously. Just saying that it wouldn’t be weird to have some orange gel on a toothbrush in our bathroom. I also had bought a [particular orange-based facial cleanser](http://www.burtsbees.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?productId=-39&catalogId=10051&storeId=10001&langId=-1). At the time, it had a skinny little cap on the tube. Kind of like a toothpaste cap. It’s probably also important that without my glasses on, I have pretty crummy vision. Plus, you know, it’s morning and I stagger right into the bathroom after turning off my alarm, and don’t always even bother with the lights immediately (there is ambient light coming through the window) cause I don’t want that kind of pain that early. Yes, the inevitable happened, and the lessons learned included: - postponing the toothbrushing until after the shower, when I’m awake - being glad that I’d chosen a cleanser with not-bad tasting (and not harmful) ingredients like orange oil, glycerin, aloe vera, flour, vegetable oil, and so on - buying a toothpaste in a distinctive tube and/or at least peering closely at the product I’m dispensing onto the brush before actually sticking the brush in my mouth \ ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2008, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/82 "2008-10-27T14:21:16Z")
“No madam, _you_ smell, _I_ stink!” “Yes mam, our brochures do say private bathrooms. They’re private in the sense that they’re not open to the general public”. “The ship is heading towards a solar star!” ---
**Author:** ![Hampshire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hampshire/32/4887_2.png) [@Hampshire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hampshire)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2008, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/83 "2008-10-27T14:30:18Z")
I’m way too classy to ever buy a “used car”. So if you wouldn’t mind could you point me in the direction of the “certified pre-owned vehicles”? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2008, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/84 "2008-10-27T15:32:37Z")
> [@the\_Lady](#): > > Sorry - couldn’t let this one slip by…Snicker. I figured the Canadians would get it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2008, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/85 "2008-10-27T19:12:01Z")
> [@Hampshire](#): > > So if you wouldn’t mind could you point me in the direction of the “certified pre-owned vehicles”? I like the idea that someone might require a certificate to believe that that 1994-model hadn’t just been sitting on the lot for the last decade… That reminds me of the signs along the highways in California that say “Speed enforced by aircraft”. Now, I understand that there are patrol aircraft, but unless I’m mistaken about their capabilities, they’re merely _observing_ cars’ speeds. The enforcement is still done by cars on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2008, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/86 "2008-10-27T19:32:22Z")
> [@iamthewalrus\_3](#): > > That reminds me of the signs along the highways in California that say “Speed enforced by aircraft”. Now, I understand that there are patrol aircraft, but unless I’m mistaken about their capabilities, they’re merely _observing_ cars’ speeds. The enforcement is still done by cars on the ground. Or maybe like this: > **[Car Forums - Auto News, Community and Forums | Edmunds](https://forums.edmunds.com)** > > Visit Edmunds.com Car Forums to discuss car buying, selling, repairs, maintenance and all things automotive! Search discussions by make, model or topic. or this: [http://www.pioneer.net/~mchumor/00images/4627\_flying\_cartoon\_ES.gif](http://www.pioneer.net/~mchumor/00images/4627_flying_cartoon_ES.gif) :p:D ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Scud](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f08c70/32.png) [@Tom\_Scud](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Scud)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2008, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/87 "2008-10-27T19:33:50Z")
> [@Biggirl](#): > > O.K., I surrender. I’m gonna go add some hot nefcu flavor to taste. cf. “Scrabble with God”: > **[John M. Ford has died — Crooked Timber](https://crookedtimber.org/2006/09/26/john-m-ford-has-died/)** > [@](#): > > I don’t recommend playing with God. It isn’t that he cheats, exactly. But the other night we were in the middle of a game, I was about thirty points up, and He emptied out his rack. ZWEEGHB. Double word score and the fifty-point bonus. > > “Zweeghb?” I said. > > “Is that a challenge?” > > “Well…” If you challenge God and you’re wrong, you lose the points and get turned into a pillar of salt. > > “Look outside,” He said. So I did. Sure enough, there was a zweeghb out there, eating the rosebushes, like Thurber’s unicorn. > > “I thought you rested from creating stuff.” > > “Eighth day, I did. Now I’m fresh as a daisy. You going to pass or play?” ---
**Author:** ![Shecky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/85e7bf/32.png) [@Shecky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shecky)\ **Post date:** [October 27, 2008, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/88 "2008-10-27T19:36:26Z")
Due to rising fuel costs, we’re charging you more. On less product. Even when fuel prices drop. At least there’s NEW and IMPROVED packaging ---
**Author:** ![cards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2008, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/89 "2008-10-29T19:54:22Z")
> [@moonstarssun](#): > > Now, now, don’t lump all of us together into one horrifying glob. There’s a difference between account staff, market researchers, etc and the creatives who actually write the ads. I’m willing to bet that the copywriters who worked on these ads weep when they see how they turn out. > > Keep in mind, huge agencies have a gauntlet that an ad has to run through before it gets produced. The client and about five levels of people (or more) will take your clever, well-written idea and mangle it just a little at each level. By the time it’s on the air, it may well have lost all meaning. > > I agree–every word counts. And it pains me to see commercials that waste them. Another marketer here (research/analysis type). The linked video is awfully close to some of the processes I’ve seen. [http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/07/23](http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/07/23) ---
**Author:** ![moonstarssun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@moonstarssun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moonstarssun)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2008, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/90 "2008-10-29T22:48:39Z")
> [@cards](#): > > Another marketer here (research/analysis type). The linked video is awfully close to some of the processes I’ve seen. > > [http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/07/23](http://www.todaysbigthing.com/2008/07/23) Oh dear Og, I think I’ve been in that meeting! ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2008, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/91 "2008-10-30T23:55:36Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > See, here, you’re the one who’s mistaken, I believe. You’re conflating the word “home” with the word “house,” which is just what advertiser have been trying to get you to do for years. A condo is just as much as home as a house. What bugs me is that, as far as the real estate industry is concerned, there’s no such thing as a house anymore, only “homes.” Yuk. Frankly, calling a condo a home bugs me a little bit less than calling a house a home, in adspeak at any rate. This has always bugged me. You can’t buy a home. Home is where you live, and you can’t live in it until you’ve bought it. You can turn something into a home without buying it. Live under a bridge? Then that’s your home. In jail? That’s your home. That nice 3BR/2B split-level you’ve had your eye on? Somebody else’s home for now, but as soon as you’ve bought it, it’s not anybody’s home until you move in. This is closely related to software companies calling a computer program a “solution”. Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren’t we? I can think of plenty of programs I’ve bought that haven’t solved a damn thing, just sat there useless on my hard drive. And even when it works, the program isn’t a solution itself, it’s merely a tool involved in the solution process. We used to have computers and programs; now we have systems and solutions. And don’t get me started about ads for movies that have come out on DVD where they say “Surf Monkeys 5: Douchebags in Paradise. Own it on DVD!!”. You can’t own the movie, you can only own a copy of it. I’m waiting for some pirate to claim a right to sell copies of a movie on the grounds the commercial said he could own the movie, and a judge telling some festering fudgepipe of an intellectual property lawyer that he’s upholding the right. If George Carlin didn’t do a routine on this, he should have. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/92 "2008-10-31T00:21:42Z")
You’re being extraordinarily silly. I might just as well say “You can’t buy a pet. Your pet is an animal you take care of, and you can’t take care of it until you’ve bought it.” or “You can’t build a factory. A factory is where you manufacture products, and you can’t manufacture products in it until you’ve built it.” and so forth. You are blinding yourself to how language works. ---
**Author:** ![Hyperelastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Hyperelastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hyperelastic)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2008, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225/93 "2008-10-31T02:25:34Z")
A factory doesn’t have to actually be producing anything in order to be considered a factory. Once the factory is built, but before it goes on line, it’s just as much a factory as it is when it’s shut down for a holiday. There only needs to be the potential for production. The pet example is almost a winner, because it implies a relationship, as does a home. A home is somebody’s home, just like a pet is somebody’s pet. However, hardly anybody says “I’m going to buy a pet”. They say, “I’m going to buy a cat” or “I’m going to buy a dog.” When people do say they are going to buy a pet, it’s only because they don’t know which kind of animal they’re ultimately going to choose. This is analogous to someone saying he’s going to buy a home because it’s easier to say than “I’m going to buy a house, condo, co-op, lean-to, or other permanent shelter.” I can actually stomach that. But real estate agents don’t talk that way. They say, “Look at these lovely homes I found for you” even when every one of them is a house. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-ad-people-words-mean-things/469225.md?page=4)