# Hey, all you "Mr. Right will come along someday" Pollyannas? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 11, 2003, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602 "2003-07-11T01:02:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/41 "2003-07-11T13:10:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Miller \* > \*\*Well, **Eve** , if it makes you feel any better, I could tell you you’re going to die terribly, terribly alone. Does that help? \*\* Alone, certainly. But “terribly, terribly?” Why do people always associate “alone” with “terrible?” > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Stoid \* > \*\*How do positive predictions of love in your future equal condescending and smug? \*\* The one that really frosted me was the person who said “most of you are alone because you don’t love yourselves enough.” Hooey. Some of us love ourselves so much that we don’t feel the need to throw ourselves at any yahoo who asks, just to avoid being alone. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Already in Use \* > **Just the other day, in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=196379), you said you hated your job! Care to elaborate? 😉** Oh, that—I mean my _career_ writing books; not my lousy nine-to-five _job._ > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by gobear \* > \*\*OK, the transexual issue may be startling, but to someone who truly, genuinely loves you, it will not make a whisper of a difference. I find it hard to believe that Renee Richards, Jan Morris, Tula, and Wendy Carlos, just to name a few transgendered folks off the top of my head, moved into a nunnery immediately post surgery. \*\* “Would a convent take a Jewish goil?” **Gobear** , dear, I dated for about 15 years [almost typed “125 years,” which it sometimes seems like] before hanging up my spike heels. The stories I could tell . . . But I have no intention of doing so. Let’s just say I speak from experience. ---
**Author:** ![erislover](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/71e660/32.png) [@erislover](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/erislover)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 1:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/42 "2003-07-11T13:41:38Z")
Was this thread a cry for attention or did nobody read the OP? 😛 Usually, people who have accepted, happily, singlehood are not looking for commentaries about how crazy all the people were that didn’t remove them from that position. But hey, don’t let me interrupt the love-fest. 😉 **Eve** _But “terribly, terribly?” Why do people always associate “alone” with “terrible?”_ Good question. I never had a problem being alone. I quite enjoyed it, actually. ---
**Author:** ![Bruce\_Daddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Bruce\_Daddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bruce_Daddy)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/43 "2003-07-11T13:42:37Z")
Yeah, I hate that too. I have family friends who constantly tell me that they’re “praying that the right girl will come along” or “god will send me a nice christian girl to marry”. **Please stop doing that.** Just in case there is a god and just in case (s)he’s listening to you. My life rocks as is, and if there _were_ a woman in my life it wouldn’t be the kind you’re trying to send my way. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/44 "2003-07-11T15:06:58Z")
Ah **Eve** honey, sweetheart. Don’t worry. Soon-- before you even know it-- a man will appear in your life and your biting, bitter pain will be eased. He will appear when you are not looking or while you are doing things you like to do or at church or maybe even on-line. You can then drop dead the minute you meet him. It will be lovely, really. I know it _seems_ impossible right now, but with just the right amount of good thoughts and positive thin. . . . _arrrrgghhhg_ please. . . move. . . hands. . . from. . . throa. . _grraahfffggh_ ---
**Author:** ![Master\_Wang-Ka](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/master_wang-ka/32/3325_2.png) [@Master\_Wang-Ka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Master_Wang-Ka)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/45 "2003-07-11T15:11:11Z")
Hey, I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life alone, and then it turned out totally differently. To my benefit. How does this make me a “condescending Pollyanna?” Now, if you don’t wanna HEAR that, fine. Say so. Oh, wait, you jut did, didn’t you? Admittedly in a rather snotty, bitter way, but, hey, if that’s your bag… True, it makes you come across rather badly, but far be it from me to criticize or insult a stranger whose motives are a friggin’ mystery to me. In the future, when you do not wish to hear viewpoints opposing your own, you might say so early in the thread, so’s us condescending pollyannas can stay the hell out… ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/46 "2003-07-11T15:14:18Z")
Eve, had it occured to you that maybe not that many people knew that you’re transgendered? I sure as hell didn’t until I opened this thread and I been here for a couple of years. I was wondering why you took that other thread so personally. But remember, [Billy Tipton](http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a5_009.html) pulled it off, so never say never. (ducks) ---
**Author:** ![Gangster\_Octopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a8b319/32.png) [@Gangster\_Octopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gangster_Octopus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/47 "2003-07-11T15:19:13Z")
Have you thought to widen your search for men who are named something other than “Right”? ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/48 "2003-07-11T15:21:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cicada2003 \* > \*\*Ever been at Costco with a very short and simple list of things to get that you _know_ are cheaper at Costco, let’s say sheets and printer cartridges, and you’re not gonna buy _anything_ that’s not on your list, and then you pass some weird display of, say, an assortment of 15 cucumber-scented candles of various sizes, in a box, for only 3.99 and it just calls your name, and you buy it (along with your printer cartridges and sheets) and get home and say to yourself, “WTF? Why the bloody hell did I buy _this_? Cucumber flavored candles. Jesus.” > > Can’t even blame hormones for that one. But for marriage you can. I certainly do. !!@#$%\*&@!!! hormones. \*\* Honey, is that you? Seriously, my husband bought cucumber-scented candles from CostCo the other day. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/58f4c7/32.png) [@Tony\_Barber\_s\_Underwear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Barber_s_Underwear)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/49 "2003-07-11T15:27:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Eve \* > \*\* > 3) I am transgendered. And, to paraphrase Mrs. Parker, “Men seldom pinch fannies of girls who are trannies.” > \*\* All I wanted to say was that where I come from, “fanny” refers to the front-bottom, as opposed to the back bottom, so in Australia, unless you are into SM kind of stuff, you really probably don’t want your ‘fanny’ pinched. - Bubba. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/50 "2003-07-11T15:30:52Z")
Since when does transgendered mean bisexual? You can be transgendered and not be bisexual. I thought transgendered meant basically a sex change operation occured. I’m not looking but if I found a woman that I loved in every other way and found out she was transgendered… oh well. As long as all the female parts are female parts NOW, WTF does it matter? And Eve? You are not unrepossesing. ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/51 "2003-07-11T15:36:31Z")
But **Eve**! Perhaps Pwincess Pwecious has a bwother! [sub]All right, I’m getting into my handbasket now, and pointing it towards Hell.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/52 "2003-07-11T15:36:42Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by erislover \* > \*\*Was this thread a cry for attention or did nobody read the OP? \*\* Yes and no. Sure was a cry for something, for Eve doth protest WAY too much for someone who is disinterested in being in a relationship. She keeps trying to convince others but I think she has only convinced herself if she doesn’t think about it too hard. And no, people did read the OP. It’s just that, when somebody is talking like her, it’s sometimes best to be supportive agree with her though you REALLY just want to roll your eyes and say, “You don’t really believe what you are saying, do you?” I do feel bad for her that she thinks she is screwed because of the gender issues, especially as all that is changing as we speak. Perhaps she has a reason; the last time I paid any attention to the status of the transgendered their official, legal reassignment looked like a _fait accompli._ Many times burnt, many times shy, I suppose. But we all like to have a little wallow in the self-pity now and then. It feels good to have people pat your arm and say how things aren’t as bad as they seem. Unfortunately, what she wanted was “You go, girl! Show 'em how strong and independent you are,” while what she and the other people in the other thread got was, “Chin up! Mr Right will be along soon.” And some of the people there might’ve benefited from the latter. So, now that I have solved the problem of how to stay friends with Eve while speaking my mind (I’ll guess I screwed up, speaking of wallowing in self-pity)… ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/53 "2003-07-11T15:37:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Knowed Out \* > \*\*Eve, had it occured to you that maybe not that many people knew that you’re transgendered? > \*\* Well, she’s been “out” on the board for some time, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to expect that many posters will know, just as they know she lives in New York and writes books about Hollywood stars of the past. But I don’t see why it should matter either way here. It’s not as if being single, or wanting to be single, is something unique to transgendered/transexual people. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Epimetheus \* > \*\*Since when does transgendered mean bisexual? You can be transgendered and not be bisexual. I thought transgendered meant basically a sex change operation occured. > \*\* You are right. **december** was…confused. I’m not sure how he could have made such a mistake, but somehow I’m not surprised. ---
**Author:** ![you\_with\_the\_face](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/ecccb3/32.png) [@you\_with\_the\_face](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/you_with_the_face)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/54 "2003-07-11T15:56:42Z")
I asked **Eve** to explain her reaction in the thread in question. Her explanation was reasonable and I could empathize, but the thread wasn’t just about people like her, who _know_ that they will be single. Contributers also included people who felt as if they were going to be single because no one would want them. I didn’t see any condescension or smugness about **Wang-ka’s** posts or any other “love will bring us together” posts. They were there to encourage people who were unhappily convinced of their single fates to never give up hope, to not be so quick to resign themselves to a solitary future. I did not sense that they were there to tell people who are happy being singletons that something is wrong with them. For some reason it seems as if **Eve** thought all these particular posts were addressed to her, when they were not. ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/55 "2003-07-11T15:58:10Z")
What I **demand** is a show of hands of all the people here who even GET the cultural reference, “Pollyanna.” Of you, who has actually seen the movie? Read the book? Both? Had a massive crush on Hayley Mills or wanted to be Hayley Mills? Wondered what the hell they had been thinking when she showed up on _Saved by the Bell?_ We need a new name for the nauseatingly chipper. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/56 "2003-07-11T16:47:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dropzone \* > \*\*What I **demand** is a show of hands of all the people here who even GET the cultural reference, “Pollyanna.” Of you, who has actually seen the movie? Read the book? Both? Had a massive crush on Hayley Mills or wanted to be Hayley Mills? Wondered what the hell they had been thinking when she showed up on _Saved by the Bell?_ > > We need a new name for the nauseatingly chipper. :mad: \*\* I love that movie. When I was five, I wanted to go climb a tree and fall out just like Pollyanna because I thought it might get me a dress like hers. A new name for the nauseatingly chipper…hmmm…how about the Katie Courics of the world. I can’t stand her. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Dogzilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@Dogzilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dogzilla)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/57 "2003-07-11T17:03:50Z")
Let me just pipe up here in support of **Eve** and her rant. I have something to add to nobody in particular. (I stopped reading the other thread so I don’t know if anyone said this.) When we confirmed singles say, “I am not looking,” please do not continue to patronize us by saying, “That’s what happened to me. The minute I relaxed, stopped looking and stopped worrying about it, that’s when the Love of My Life showed up at my doorstep with roses and chocolate.” I call Bullshit! I stopped looking years ago. Just because something happened to you a certain way does not mean there’s some unwritten universal law that will make the same thing happen to us in that same way. I just don’t buy it. I think some people who say they stopped looking, were really still looking, but maybe just out of their peripheral vision. I get the sentiment, good things happen when you least expect them. Just not sure I’d say being partnered with somebody is necessarily a “good” thing in my particular case. Other confirmed singles may agree or disagree. YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![dantheman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dantheman/32/9421_2.png) [@dantheman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dantheman)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/58 "2003-07-11T17:10:27Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > **Well, she’s been “out” on the board for some time, so I don’t think it’s unreasonable for her to expect that many posters will know, just as they know she lives in New York and writes books about Hollywood stars of the past. But I don’t see why it should matter either way here. It’s not as if being single, or wanting to be single, is something unique to transgendered/transexual people.** Many won’t, either. This came as a complete shock to me. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/59 "2003-07-11T17:17:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Epimetheus \* > \*\*And Eve? You are not unrepossesing. \*\* It’s true. Just last week she repossessed my sofa. ---
**Author:** ![jovan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/0ea827/32.png) [@jovan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jovan)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2003, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602/60 "2003-07-11T17:26:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dropzone \* > \*\*What I **demand** is a show of hands of all the people here who even GET the cultural reference, “Pollyanna.” \*\* Back when I was in grade school, they used to show us movies when it rained and there was an outdoor activity planned. Actually, they didn’t show us movies, they showed us _a_ movie, always the same: Pollyanna. God I fucking hated that movie. I’ve been subjected to that movie at least 30 times. God I fucking hated that movie. Although, (and I’m rather proud of this) I managed to erase it from my memory. There was a girl, Polly… Pollysomething. That’s about it. And it sucked. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-all-you-mr-right-will-come-along-someday-pollyannas/187602.md?page=4)