# Hey assholes, how about you stop poking Evil Captor with a stick? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 22, 2006, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662 "2006-02-22T18:46:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/161 "2006-02-23T20:06:57Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > What I’m saying, at base, is that for some people, such fantasies and/or activities might be psychologically harmful. To head off an inevitable straw man: I am not saying, “therefore you shouldn’t do it.” I’m only trying to explain why I don’t personally consider such things to be morally neutral. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Weird\_One](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@The\_Weird\_One](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Weird_One)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/162 "2006-02-23T20:10:41Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > \ > I’m not saying the ACT of tying someone up is immoral, if they’re into it. I’m saying that the idea BEHIND it, is, INARGUABLY, FACTUALLY, based on images/practices/memories/whatever of a situation that is predicated on imbalance of power and theft of control. NOT IN ACTUALITY, only IN CONCEPT. I’m only saying that, in my PERSONAL philosophy, those ideas are not morally neutral. In yours they are. Fine, I understand that. I don’t get it, but I understand it to be true. > > \ > And i’m further saying that, IN MY PERSONAL PHILOSOPHY, fantasies based on an immoral act are not morally neutral. I fully understand that some people can indulge in such fantasies without doing emotional “harm” to themselves, but I also understand that others cannot. I understand that this is a highly individual matter. > > \I think that any “harm” that accrues from fantasies accrue to the fantasist, not to their partner. I’m not trying to protect EC from himself, or anything like that. I’m just trying to explain my PERSONAL issues with fantasies of humiliation and rape. > \ Thank you for that post, **lissener**. It made your position much clearer to me. I disagree, but I see where you’re coming from. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/163 "2006-02-23T20:27:40Z")
> [@AveDementia](#): > > An example of inappropriate imagery from Evil Captor in a recent thread in Great Debates: > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7012775](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=7012775) > > The thread was on the left leaning politics of Hollywood, and in post #18 Evil Captor mentions (among others) a porn star who campaigned there. IMO, he also DID NOT have to mention: OK, there was no bondage mentioned in the post. And to be fair, my response was not out of the blue. There had been a questions about the politics of celebrities running for office in California, and I remembered that Mary Carey, a pornstar, ran for office as a Republican (among others I mentioned). So, OK, the bit about the poster might have gone too far, but when you have pornstars running for Governor, the jokes just write themselves. > [@](#): > > I really had no intention of wading into this, but before I wade back out and go back to lurking, I would like to say two things. > > First, it’s disingenous to say it is or ever was just about bondage. The original pit thread ([http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=345230](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=345230)) inkleberry specifically emphasized The mods didn’t forbid me to talk about all the things you list, just to cut back on discussion of bondage and related topics. You’re taking a pretty broad swipe there. > [@](#): > > Secondly, I think there might be a good number of others such as myself who don’t choose to wade into these pittings and take a stand, but who do think that he is acting inappropriately in his off-topic sexual themed posts. On behalf of those of us who have been caught unaware and squicked, could we have a mod weigh in on whether posts such as the example above (by Evil Captor) do constitute a violation that should be reported? Yeah, 'cause freedom of speech means nothing when it comes up against the interests of the Easily Squicked. We should probably forbid discussion of gay topics, too, I’m sure they squick a lot of people who don’t choose to take a stand. the New Silent Majority is here! ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/164 "2006-02-23T20:32:06Z")
> [@AveDementia](#): > > [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=333483](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=333483) > > Post # 12 by you: > > Another poster pointed out that the girl seemed bored rather than violated by the sexual encounter, which makes me wonder why you saw it as “brutality”. Because it clearly wasn’t a consensual encounter. There was some discussion that she might have been paid for her “service” but she was clearly a shepherdess, so she wasn’t a pro or anything. It’s still brutality to treat someone like something much less than a person, even if they’re used to it. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/165 "2006-02-23T20:33:20Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > If this is the level you’re discussing this on at this point, you’ll understand if I skip your contributions from here forward. I think it’s OK to do the OCCASIONAL joke, son. Helps keep things rolling along. ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/166 "2006-02-23T20:37:12Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > See why some of us think of you as a thread flasher, EC? It’s hard not to imagine you get some kind of kick out of this kind of guerilla exhibitionism. I think you justify it to yourself by thinking that you’ve created a moment–boo!–in which you are the morally superior libertine, in contrast to all the repressed prudes you’ve just squicked. I think you’re more right than you know. I was just looking over EC’s posting history for more posts to strengthen my point because I expected him to return and argue about the interpretation of his post on the shepardess rape, but instead I found a post that indicates that he is aware of the nonconsensual aspect of uninvited explicit sex talk. In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=188366) the question “Ladies, would you be offended if a guy told you that you are often the subject of his masturbation fantasies?” was posed. Evil Captors first response was post # 15: > [@](#): > > Yeah, especially if you have fantasies like mine: “I’ve often wondered what you’d look like naked, ballgagged and with your wrists tied to your ankles, crawling toward me on a bed with a “do me” expression on your face and maybe a cute little strand of drool trickling down your chin.” > > yeah, that’d go over big … I imagine security would be escorting ME to my car … if I was LUCKY! > > As it is, most folks who know me think I’m a nice guy … and I am a nice guy, which is why I keep such fantasies to myself … Medea’s Child responded (in part): > [@](#): > > Captor, sounds like fun to me! And he responded in post # 26: > [@](#): > > It IS fun! 😉 > > That said, I think the creepiness of telling someone about it “cold” is that there’s a vaguely nonconsensual element to it … you’re inviting them to share in your sex life in a way, as a sort of co-conspirator in their sex fantasies, without first having gotten some indication from them that they’d be interested in doing so. In light of this, any protestations on his part that he is unaware of the nonconsensual vulgarity of his habit can only be construed as a total lie. IMO. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/167 "2006-02-23T20:52:02Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > There’s no way that I can address this without repeating myself, word for word, from this very thread. And there’s no way you can defend it without diverting into some arcane argument of semantics where you now want to either redefine “rape” or “fantasies,” or to deny everything you’ve ever said on the subject in these forums. OK, I think I get it now. You are saying that the psychological underpinnings of bondage and bondage imagery is rape, that if you tie someone up during sex that at some level, it must be about your having the power to do with them as you will, however they feel about it. I can accept that for the sake of argument. So any bondage imagery is also rape imagery, even if the person tied up is a willing partner. Do you also feel that women who like being tied up should be forbidden to post about bondage generally? Or women who like to tie up men, or other women? Or are you only squicked by guys who like to do the tying? Because as has been pointed out, there are many more subs out there than there are doms. > [@](#): > > My “not letting things go” is usually based on a sense that, if someone is willing to continue a discussion in good faith, I owe them the respect of not abandoning the dicussion. I’m rapidly losing that sense here; I feel a letting go coming on. And the reason I have continued conversing with you is that I sense you are trying to communicate – as I said, using logic and so forth. And I personally enjoy debating with people online, so long as there’s a chance of communication. > [@](#): > > The other reason I’m sometimes reluctant to let things go is that some people feel they can “win” an argument with nothing more than a bullying ignorance (CandidGamera comes to mind), and I feel that to concede the field before I’ve exhausted all avenues rewards such behavior. Until the effort exhausts me, and I let the bully win. I feel exhaustion creeping up. Yeah, such people can be tiresome. My feeling is that as long as you are satisfied that you have expressed yourself as clearly as possible and covered whatever ground you wish to cover, it’s OK to quit the argument. Most folks who MB a lot recognize the “outlast” approach for what it is. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/168 "2006-02-23T20:55:39Z")
> [@AveDementia](#): > > …snip… > In light of this, any protestations on his part that he is unaware of the nonconsensual vulgarity of his habit can only be construed as a total lie. IMO. You have me curious, you don’t see a difference between a message board (a great one) and the Real world. EC was clearly showing he is mature enough to not freak someone out IRL. This is a message board, I see many things that freak me out at least a little. If it ain’t illegal, I learn to live with it. If I took your attitude towards my pet peeves I would want a ban on talking about Intelligent Design. That really freaks me out that rational people treat it as something that should be taught in a science class. Again this is my problem, not the defender of ID. Jim ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/169 "2006-02-23T20:57:00Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > I think it’s OK to do the OCCASIONAL joke, son. Helps keep things rolling along. “Just kidding” is the refuge of the coward, who wants to get in his licks but not to take responsibility for them. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/170 "2006-02-23T21:00:52Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > “Just kidding” is the refuge of the coward, who wants to get in his licks but not to take responsibility for them. Not always, sometimes it is for real. I have had a lot of post meant in jest taken the wrong way. I am not saying this is true in this case. But your post is not truly valid. Change Coward to Snarky Borderline Jerk and it would be more true. 😉 Jim {just kidding} ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/171 "2006-02-23T21:06:06Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Do you also feel that women who like being tied up should be forbidden to post about bondage generally? Have I argued for forbidding anyone to post, generally? Have I made this the First Amendment issue you’re struggling to shape it into? I think it’s appropriate for the moderators of a private board to point out when someone is intruding into others’ emotional space beyond what is polite and mutually respectful. I’m not entirely on board with them forbidding it, but I think that if any one particular poster makes a habit of making other participants uncomfortable, that specific poster and his specific behavior can be examined, in light of how it affects the community as a whole. Ideally, that poster would respond by being a grownup and to stop blowing smoke in people’s faces if they ask him. If not, at some point I think calling a bouncer over is worthy of discussion. Inasmuch as any “speech” behavior is worthy of remark-up-to-banning at the SDMB, continued annoying speech–no matter the subject matter–is worthy. HOw do you extrapolate from that that I would censor all individuals from discussing a particular subject? Again, you’re painting yourself as a matyr to the subject matter–like december complaining that he’d been banned for being a conservative. You’re not being taken to task for being into bondage. You’re being taken to task for being a jerk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/172 "2006-02-23T21:06:30Z")
> [@AveDementia](#): > > I think you’re more right than you know. I was just looking over EC’s posting history for more posts to strengthen my point because I expected him to return and argue about the interpretation of his post on the shepardess rape, but instead I found a post that indicates that he is aware of the nonconsensual aspect of uninvited explicit sex talk. > > In [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=188366) the question “Ladies, would you be offended if a guy told you that you are often the subject of his masturbation fantasies?” was posed. > > Evil Captors first response was post # 15: > > Medea’s Child responded (in part): > > And he responded in post # 26: > > In light of this, any protestations on his part that he is unaware of the nonconsensual vulgarity of his habit can only be construed as a total lie. IMO. Apples and oranges, Ave. The thread in question was about personally telling someone face to face about your sex fantasies, in the workplace. I contend that’s a VERY different thing from posting about them in the anonymity of a message board. There’s no personal interaction here. It’s a relatively safe place for such expressions. I don’t talk about my sexual interests with most folks I know IRL for the reasons cited in the posts you cited. Are you really saying real life is just the same as as message board? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/173 "2006-02-23T21:07:51Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > Not always, sometimes it is for real. I have had a lot of post meant in jest taken the wrong way. I am not saying this is true in this case. But your post is not truly valid. > Change Coward to Snarky Borderline Jerk and it would be more true. 😉 > > Jim {just kidding} Insert “Here at the Dope” at the beginning of my axiom, and “often” between “is” and “the.” K? ---
**Author:** ![Evil\_Captor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f17d59/32.png) [@Evil\_Captor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Evil_Captor)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/174 "2006-02-23T21:11:24Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > FWIW, that was actually the first time the thought occurred to me that EC looked at the world through “porn colored glasses.” Trust EC, I thought, to find a porn connection to just about any subject you can name. And trust him to thrust as explicit an image as he can muster right into the middle of your brain, without any warning. > > See why some of us think of you as a thread flasher, EC? It’s hard not to imagine you get some kind of kick out of this kind of guerilla exhibitionism. I think you justify it to yourself by thinking that you’ve created a moment–boo!–in which you are the morally superior libertine, in contrast to all the repressed prudes you’ve just squicked. I do get a kick out of it. Just not a sexual one. I do like to think about sex, and communicate about sex, and I’m not at all sure why this is wrong. I do write about sex, specifically, I write what’s been called erotica, and if my agent is lucky in NY in a couple of weeks, will soon be called “romance.” ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/175 "2006-02-23T21:15:28Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > Insert “Here at the Dope” at the beginning of my axiom, and “often” between “is” and “the.” > > K? Completely agree. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/176 "2006-02-23T21:17:16Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > Apples and oranges, Ave. The thread in question was about personally telling someone face to face about your sex fantasies, in the workplace. I contend that’s a VERY different thing from posting about them in the anonymity of a message board. There’s no personal interaction here. It’s a relatively safe place for such expressions. I don’t talk about my sexual interests with most folks I know IRL for the reasons cited in the posts you cited. Are you really saying real life is just the same as as message board? See, Ave? Either he’s incapable of understanding, or he’s being dishonest about it. I’m not sure anymore. EC, in case it’s the former, please ponder on it a little further, within these constraints: Ave is saying no such thing. See if you can understand his/her objections, and my objections, within the parameters of logic and reality; consider that we have considered your position and still disagree. With that in mind, try this thought exercise: “What could Ave have meant, taking it for granted that there IS a difference between real life and a message board? Huh. Maybe that wasn’t his point then!” See what I’m trying to get you to do, EC? Don’t react to your first assumption about what Ave meant, if it entails the illogical position that there’s no difference between real life and a message board. None of us can be as clear as we wish we were, but you can make a little more effort to understand what he’s trying to say, without latching onto the first, most illogical, interpretation, and riffing off of that. ---
**Author:** ![AveDementia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bc8723/32.png) [@AveDementia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AveDementia)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/177 "2006-02-23T21:18:08Z")
> [@What Exit?](#): > > You have me curious, you don’t see a difference between a message board (a great one) and the Real world. EC was clearly showing he is mature enough to not freak someone out IRL. > This is a message board, I see many things that freak me out at least a little. If it ain’t illegal, I learn to live with it. > If I took your attitude towards my pet peeves I would want a ban on talking about Intelligent Design. That really freaks me out that rational people treat it as something that should be taught in a science class. > Again this is my problem, not the defender of ID. > > Jim I don’t know that he is mature enough IRL not to freak someone out because I do not know him personally. People can put on personas on messageboards that bear little resemblance to how they actually interact in real life. However, I think a message board can be compared to a series of conversations, and in this case with the example I posted, he is clearly aware of the nonconsensuality of dropping explicit sexual imagery into conversation. As you point out, it is entirely up to him as to what he choses to post (or talk) about here, but by the same coin, we are also free to interpret his continued habit of doing this as creepy exhibitionism, and further, to point out (with evidence that he is aware it is inappropriate) that his protestations of innocence are nothing but lies. Again my opinion, others are free to post their own. Lastly, I would like to note that you have no way to know whether my participation in this discussion is based on a pet peeve or not, and I have at no point suggested any sort of ban on his posts. I am still waiting to hear from the mods. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/178 "2006-02-23T21:20:31Z")
> [@lissener](#): > > See, Ave? Either he’s incapable of understanding, or he’s being dishonest about it. I’m not sure anymore. > > EC, in case it’s the former, please ponder on it a little further, within these constraints: Ave is saying no such thing. See if you can understand his/her objections, and my objections, within the parameters of logic and reality; consider that we have considered your position and still disagree. With that in mind, try this thought exercise: “What could Ave have meant, taking it for granted that there IS a difference between real life and a message board? Huh. Maybe that wasn’t his point then!” See what I’m trying to get you to do, EC? Don’t react to your first assumption about what Ave meant, if it entails the illogical position that there’s no difference between real life and a message board. > > None of us can be as clear as we wish we were, but you can make a little more effort to understand what he’s trying to say, without latching onto the first, most illogical, interpretation, and riffing off of that. I seemed to have read \*\*Ave \*\* the same exact way. Wasn’t (s)he implying that the same rules of conduct should be observed IRL and on SDMB? If so then we wouldn’t have 1000’s of threads on Politics and Religion. Jim ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/179 "2006-02-23T21:21:56Z")
> [@AveDementia](#): > > …snip… > Lastly, I would like to note that you have no way to know whether my participation in this discussion is based on a pet peeve or not, and I have at no point suggested any sort of ban on his posts. I am still waiting to hear from the mods. You are correct, I am guilty of making assumptions there. Jim ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [February 23, 2006, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662/180 "2006-02-23T21:22:47Z")
> [@Evil Captor](#): > > I do get a kick out of it. Just not a sexual one. I do like to think about sex, and communicate about sex, and I’m not at all sure why this is wrong. A) It doesnt’ much matter if you’re not sure; I don’t \*have \*to convince you to believe that it’s impolite and rude. If someone tells you that what you’re doing is rude, the polite thing is to stop doing it. It’s called manners. It’s not necessarily even enforcible. It’s just one of those things that separates jerks from non-jerks. B) The fact that you get a kick out of it, of whatever kind, makes it trolling. The fact that you want to “use” me, and my emotional discomfort, or whatever reaction, because it gives you a momentary kick to do so, is monstrously solipsistic and rude, and is called trolling. (Discussing general behavior here, not accusing anyone of a “live” act of trolling.) Bottom line is it’s ill-mannered. That it’s of a sexual nature, and that you get a kick out of it, adds a whole squickly layer to the bad manners. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assholes-how-about-you-stop-poking-evil-captor-with-a-stick/345662.md?page=10)