# Hey, assmunch, get a new hobby. No, you may not lick that. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 9, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178 "2003-05-09T19:08:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/1 "2003-05-09T19:08:59Z")
So I’m at work, doing my usual Friday afternoon stuff (slacking off until I can leave), when a phone call comes in. Me: Good afternoon, The \*\*\*\*\* Group, this is Ava. Caller: Can I have your address to send a payment? Me: Sure, it’s 1234 Happy Town Lane, Suite 1001, zip code 12345. Caller: Thanks. When can I lick your pussy? Me: :eek: I regain my equilibrium and remember one extremely important detail of my office - WE HAVE CALLER ID! Me: Okay, sir, you’re calling from 555-1234, aren’t you? Caller: Silence. Click. Luckily, my boss was standing right by my desk as I wrote the phone number down, and told me to call the number back so that he could give the human-flesh-waste a piece of his mind. Of course, no one answered the phone. For about ten minutes, I was upset because I’ve never gotten an obscene phone call before and because this camel-felching fuck muncher now has our work address. And once that faded…I was ready to kick some ass. I am PISSED now. WHY THE FUCK does someone do that? Can he not go rent a porno for a day? He has to resort to calling administrative assistants who HAVE to answer the goddamn phone to get his jollies? My co-worker is sitting across from me hoping the guy calls back so she can scream at him. And every time the phone rings, we both look at the Caller ID and check the number before we answer it. We’re trying to find the number on the internet, and a friend looked it up and swears it’s a cell phone. I know there’s a nil chance that the guy’s reading this - but ass-monger, if you EVER fucking call my office again or if you dare come near my goddamn office, you will either find yourself with the wrath of my angry boss (and believe me, you don’t want that), or the wrath of my angry co-worker and myself (We are two women in our twenties, and I don’t believe in violence, but I _will_ defend myself against a perceived threat). We have cops in and out of this building, and it would be my intense pleasure to watch one of them pin your ass to the ground and haul your fucking ass off to jail. I know it was just a phone call, but the fact that he got the office address under false pretenses scares the fuck out of me. I dealt with enough ‘violations’ when I was younger, and something like this just drags those feelings right back up again. I am completely fine with sex, especially with my SO, but something like this combines sex and fear, and _that’s_ what I’ve been working so hard to overcome for the past twenty years. Ava ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/2 "2003-05-09T19:12:21Z")
Have you reported the guy to the phone company, or whatever? What a loser. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/3 "2003-05-09T19:20:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Guinastasia \* > \*\*Have you reported the guy to the phone company, or whatever? > > What a loser. \*\* I checked in the phone book and their recommendation is to call the authorities first, and the phone company will then work with the authorities. I know I should, but I feel silly and embarrassed to call the police over one phone call. We work in a busy building, so if he _were_ to show up, there are plenty of people who would be around to beat the shit out of him. However, my boss does want us to call the phone company and see if they can do something with the number since it’s a cell phone. My co-worker is actually working on that. This just freaked me out a little. I’m really glad for the caller ID, though - I think it deterred the guy. Ava ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/4 "2003-05-09T19:30:03Z")
Post the number. Let the Straight Dope tell him what they think of him. ---
**Author:** ![bayonet1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bayonet1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bayonet1976)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/5 "2003-05-09T19:43:25Z")
You can do a reverse look up on his number [here](http://www.att.com/directory/) . I’m not saying you should do anything with it, but at least you’ll be even, he has your address and you have his. ---
**Author:** ![shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/6 "2003-05-09T19:47:18Z")
Last year, I was getting ready for work when I received an obscene phone call. Freaked my shit out. Whoever it was knew I would be getting ready at 5:30 in the morning and knew my name. They said, “I want you, _shrew_.” Gives me the feckin’ creeps thinking about it. I hung up, but I was a nervous wreck for weeks. The police figured it was just some guy getting my name out of the phone book, but I don’t know. I’ll never understand what would possess a person to do that. ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/7 "2003-05-09T20:01:16Z")
Sorry I won’t call again, I was drunk. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Creative\_Munster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@Creative\_Munster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creative_Munster)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/8 "2003-05-09T20:02:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by avabeth \* > \*\* I dealt with enough ‘violations’ when I was younger, and something like this just drags those feelings right back up again. I am completely fine with sex, especially with my SO, but something like this combines sex and fear, and _that’s_ what I’ve been working so hard to overcome for the past twenty years. > > Ava \*\* This is the reason you are freaking out about it so much. Whatever “it” is that happened in your past is being rekindled in your memory and the trigger was this phone call. I don’t know if you have ever been in therapy. If not, you might want to look into it. I don’t think getting so worked up over one phone call is a normal reaction. ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/9 "2003-05-09T20:02:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by shrew \* > **Last year, I was getting ready for work when I received an obscene phone call. Freaked my shit out. Whoever it was knew I would be getting ready at 5:30 in the morning and knew my name. They said, "I want you, _shrew_."** Maybe they were trying to get hold of me? 😛 I once received an obscene answerphone message…yes, from another male. Very weird. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/10 "2003-05-09T20:11:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*Sorry I won’t call again, I was drunk. > > 😃 \*\* _snort_:D…dude, I needed that. Update - called the phone company, now have a trace on the phone in case he calls again. The rep’s exact words after finding out about our caller ID were “This guy was an idiot, wasn’t he?” He doesn’t think he’ll be stupid enough to call again, and he said that we could call the police to get the ball rolling, but he really thinks it’s just a one-time deal. I explained to him that my only concern was that the guy now had the address, but he reminded me that if the guy had our phone number, he could easily get our address, so I came back down to earth after that - I’m letting myself get worked up over the same thing I usually tell people not to worry about - getting addresses from the internet. **shrew** , I get it. I probably would have been as scared as you were. > [@](#): > > This is the reason you are freaking out about it so much. Whatever “it” is that happened in your past is being rekindled in your memory and the trigger was this phone call. I don’t know if you have ever been in therapy. If not, you might want to look into it. I don’t think getting so worked up over one phone call is a normal reaction. You’re absolutely right, **Creative\_Munster**. I _have_ been in therapy before for this and I know that’s why it’s freaked me out so badly. And the address thing just had me worried…I’m much calmer now than I was two hours ago. There are plenty of people around here to protect me on the incredibly off-chance that this fucktard shows up. I think it’s not necessarily so much the situation as it is the feelings that it brought back. I hate those feelings. Luckily, it didn’t go into a full-fledged panic attack, which is a definite improvement for me (and a good thing, since my Xanax prescription is sitting in my purse, unfilled). Ava ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/11 "2003-05-09T20:21:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by World Eater \* > \*\*Sorry I won’t call again, I was drunk. > > 😃 \*\* _snort_:D…dude, I needed that. Update - called the phone company, now have a trace on the phone in case he calls again. The rep’s exact words after finding out about our caller ID were “This guy was an idiot, wasn’t he?” He doesn’t think he’ll be stupid enough to call again, and he said that we could call the police to get the ball rolling, but he really thinks it’s just a one-time deal. I explained to him that my only concern was that the guy now had the address, but he reminded me that if the guy had our phone number, he could easily get our address, so I came back down to earth after that - I’m letting myself get worked up over the same thing I usually tell people not to worry about - getting addresses from the internet. **shrew** , I get it. I probably would have been as scared as you were. > [@](#): > > This is the reason you are freaking out about it so much. Whatever “it” is that happened in your past is being rekindled in your memory and the trigger was this phone call. I don’t know if you have ever been in therapy. If not, you might want to look into it. I don’t think getting so worked up over one phone call is a normal reaction. You’re absolutely right, **Creative\_Munster**. I _have_ been in therapy before for this and I know that’s why it’s freaked me out so badly. And the address thing just had me worried…I’m much calmer now than I was two hours ago. There are plenty of people around here to protect me on the incredibly off-chance that this fucktard shows up. I think it’s not necessarily so much the situation as it is the feelings that it brought back. I hate those feelings. Luckily, it didn’t go into a full-fledged panic attack, which is a definite improvement for me (and a good thing, since my Xanax prescription is sitting in my purse, unfilled). Ava ---
**Author:** ![World\_Eater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@World\_Eater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/World_Eater)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/12 "2003-05-09T20:23:31Z")
Seriously, the best thing is that he knows that you know his number. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/13 "2003-05-09T21:13:42Z")
Hmmn. Am I the only man who’s gotten obscene phone calls from women? The first time was slightly after I came out, and the woman wanted to “convert” me. The last time was at work, with a former female co-worker(she was fired) calling me(I worked for an answering service) and saying how she knew I wanted her and that she’d make a real man out of me. Mmm-hmmm. I had no idea I was a faux man. Obviously I’ve been decieving men all over the country. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/14 "2003-05-09T21:20:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Mockingbird \* > \*\*Hmmn. > > Am I the only man who’s gotten obscene phone calls from women? > > The first time was slightly after I came out, and the woman wanted to “convert” me.\*\* Bwahahahaha! Hmm, I wonder if maybe I pretend to be… nahhhhhhh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/15 "2003-05-10T00:42:01Z")
[Bloodhound Gang] I wish I was queer so I could get chicks. [/Bloodhound Gang] ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/16 "2003-05-10T02:55:03Z")
You know, the evil side of me thinks that this sounds like one of those role reversal thriller movies. You could start calling him and scare the bejesus out of him. I was a private investigator and it is amazing what you can find out in public records. I remember one time I was cut off on the road by some kid in a sports car. I honked and he flipped me off. When I went into the other lane and passed him (he got caught in a long line of cars and got cut off from the fastlane while trying to pass on the right), he got really mad and tail gated me. Then he pulled ahead of me and slammed on his brakes. Using my “sources” I got his name and address from the license plate and sent him a XMAS card saying “please don’t cut off people while driving then slam on your brakes and flip them off. It is not safe to drive that way and I did not appreciate it. Be nice.” No threats, nothing illegal, just a subtle reminder that the world is a much smaller place than we all think it is. (BTW- this is Lissa’s husband not her. I use her account to peak on the boards) ---
**Author:** ![lorinada](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5e925/32.png) [@lorinada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorinada)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 3:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/17 "2003-05-10T03:07:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bayonet1976 \* > \*\*You can do a reverse look up on his number [here](http://www.att.com/directory/) . I’m not saying you should do anything with it, but at least you’ll be even, he has your address and you have his. \*\* Only if it’s a listed number. If it’s unlisted, a cell phone, even a trunk line a reverse look-up won’t yield a thing. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/18 "2003-05-10T03:40:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lissa \* > \*\*You know, the evil side of me thinks that this sounds like one of those role reversal thriller movies. You could start calling him and scare the bejesus out of him. I was a private investigator and it is amazing what you can find out in public records. > > \*\* Mr. Lissa, make your husband start a “Ask the PI” thread. Unless he’s already done one. ---
**Author:** ![Lissa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/85f322/32.png) [@Lissa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lissa)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/19 "2003-05-10T05:18:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by GMRyujin \* > \*\*Mr. Lissa, make your husband start a “Ask the PI” thread. Unless he’s already done one. \*\* [Your wish is my command.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=183025) ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2003, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/20 "2003-05-10T05:24:55Z")
I mean…ahh, there’s no recovery from a blunder like that. Pie? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178.md?page=2)