# Hey, assmunch, get a new hobby. No, you may not lick that. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 9, 2003, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178 "2003-05-09T19:08:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/41 "2003-05-11T04:12:09Z")
I was quite a scoundrel back in the day. ---
**Author:** ![stypticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@stypticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stypticus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/42 "2003-05-11T04:44:40Z")
An obscene phone call from a 10-year-old? “I’d like to speak to Mr. Jass. Mr. Hugh Jass.” I’m sure I would be incensed. :rolleyes: 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Blalron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/35a633/32.png) [@Blalron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blalron)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 6:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/43 "2003-05-11T06:08:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stypticus \* > \*\*An obscene phone call from a 10-year-old? > > “I’d like to speak to Mr. Jass. Mr. Hugh Jass.” > > I’m sure I would be incensed. :rolleyes: 😉 \*\* Well, to us it might not seem that funny, but to a 10 year old its enough to cause side splitting laughter. :eek: “Hey, can I speak to Mr. Hunt? First name Mike?” “MIKE HUNT! has anybody seen MIKE HUNT?” ---
**Author:** ![stypticus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f05b48/32.png) [@stypticus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stypticus)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 6:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/44 "2003-05-11T06:26:06Z")
Sure, funny. But not as shocking or disturbing as the OP’s experience. You don’t expect that the 10-year-old will be waiting around the corner when you leave the house, his head filled with diabolical plans for making _sure_ your fridge is running. ---
**Author:** ![shep\_proudfoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/90db22/32.png) [@shep\_proudfoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shep_proudfoot)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 7:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/45 "2003-05-11T07:05:51Z")
That’s really the difference between men and women. If a woman told me that she wanted to commit an act of oral copulation on me, I would of been flattered, even if the woman was Grandma Moses or Horseface Harriet. Women feel threatened by this remark and rightfully so. I don’t really think it was a sexual pass, just a way for this weird individual to get arise out of you. Baby, get over it. SP ---
**Author:** ![smaft](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c2a13f/32.png) [@smaft](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smaft)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/46 "2003-05-11T15:56:29Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by stypticus_ > You don’t expect that the 10-year-old will be waiting around the corner when you leave the house, his head filled with diabolical plans for making _sure_ your fridge is running. Really? You don’t? I mean, you can’t be too careful… ---
**Author:** ![Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47c2d/32.png) [@Biffy\_the\_Elephant\_Shrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biffy_the_Elephant_Shrew)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/47 "2003-05-11T16:15:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by smaft \* > \*\*Really? You don’t? > > I mean, you can’t be too careful… \*\* Yeah. For all you know, he might have Prince Albert in a can. ---
**Author:** ![LittleTigger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/58956e/32.png) [@LittleTigger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LittleTigger)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/48 "2003-05-11T16:15:43Z")
The only prank calls I have ever participated in were TELEMARKETER calls 😃 I Just amswer as Beavis and Butthead. TM: “Hello, our records show that you don’t take the local paper.” Butthead: “Uhh toiletpaper?” TM; “No, no, Newspaper.” Butthead: "Uhh huh-huh, like Beavis needs some toiletpaper for his BUTT, huh-huh, huh-huh. TM: “clik” ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/49 "2003-05-11T17:21:04Z")
Many years ago, I worked in the field of, um, shall we call it “Adult Phone Chat”? Well, I worked the night shift. One of my nights off, my phone rang at 3AM, when I was sound asleep. I answered it: “Hello?” Unidentified male caller: “I want to lick your pussy” Me (still half asleep and not comprehending): “What?” UMC: “I want to lick your pussy” Me: “Listen, bucko, if you wanna talk to me like that, you’ll have to pay eighty bucks an hour, just like everyone else!” Hubby couldn’t stop laughing! Oh, and **ava** , I’m glad your company is taking this seriiously, and not telling you that you’re making too big a deal over it or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Elza\_B](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Elza\_B](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elza_B)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/50 "2003-05-11T17:29:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by norinew \* > \*\*Many years ago, I worked in the field of, um, shall we call it “Adult Phone Chat”? Well, I worked the night shift. One of my nights off, my phone rang at 3AM, when I was sound asleep. I answered it: “Hello?” > Unidentified male caller: “I want to lick your pussy” > Me (still half asleep and not comprehending): “What?” > UMC: “I want to lick your pussy” > Me: “Listen, bucko, if you wanna talk to me like that, you’ll have to pay eighty bucks an hour, just like everyone else!” > > Hubby couldn’t stop laughing! > > Oh, and **ava** , I’m glad your company is taking this seriiously, and not telling you that you’re making too big a deal over it or anything. \*\* OMG, **norinew** , that’s hysterical! Too funny! And my company has their problems, but I’m really impressed with the way that my boss reacted. He was really pissed about it and told me that we could do whatever we needed to take care of it. I’m a lot calmer about it today. Now it’s almost funny to me. I called my old roommate from NYC and told him about it yesterday and he laughed his ass off. He was actually surprised that I didn’t have a smart-ass response to the guy when it happened - he’s used to getting smart-ass responses from me and I think he just figured I’d do the same in this case. I think I was too stunned to do so. Ava ---
**Author:** ![jlzania](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/67e7ee/32.png) [@jlzania](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jlzania)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/51 "2003-05-12T13:56:59Z")
When I tended bar, I got an obscene phone from a “gentlemen” who described the length and width of his jolly-boy in great depth. He also was kind enough to share with me all of the fun things that he thought I’d enjoy doing with his prodigious member. I let him drone on for a few minutes and then made him an offer that I considered more than fair. “Look,” sez I, “If you come into the bar tonight, we can measure it on the cooler in back and if it’s really as big as you say it is, I’ll let you drink for free all night.” Bastard hung up on me. ---
**Author:** ![Profane\_Creation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/839c29/32.png) [@Profane\_Creation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Profane_Creation)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/52 "2003-05-12T20:53:39Z")
Nice story jlzania. I saw a snippet of a movie with Lena Olin where this dude tells her he’s hung like a horse and she says “OK, show me right now (in a diner.)” Naturally, he doesn’t. That was pretty funny. * * * Anyway, to my point. There are a lot of guys out there doing this shit. No intention of doing anything, stalking you, certainly have no idea who you are, nothing. No sweat. (Prolly have no idea how to give a good licking anyway.) My g/f once advertised for her lost shmitten and some guy called up telling her he had it. He also asked if there was a reward. She had very little but offered $10 or something and he asked her, “What kind of underwear are you wearing right now?” That freaked her out too, but it was unlikely that he knew where she lived or anything. I’d love to punch that fuck for asking her like that just because she thought for a minute that he was found. (He [the cat] ended up coming back later though). ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/53 "2003-05-12T21:11:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*I’m sure **avabeth** is smarter than that, **carrot**. Bad suggestion. \*\* Whoops…There was supposed to be a smiley on the end of that there post. I was kind of in a hurry/on my way out when I posted that, and I didn’t preview. Sorry about that. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178/54 "2003-05-12T21:14:37Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Profane Creation \* > \*\*Nice story jlzania. I saw a snippet of a movie with Lena Olin where this dude tells her he’s hung like a horse and she says “OK, show me right now (in a diner.)” Naturally, he doesn’t. That was pretty funny. > \*\* Never try the above strategem unless you’re sure the man in question will decline. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-assmunch-get-a-new-hobby-no-you-may-not-lick-that/174178.md?page=2)