# Hey beagle: Let's you and me step outside.. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 25, 2001, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516 "2001-05-25T22:11:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/21 "2001-05-29T00:14:20Z")
Hey, so Mrs. Beagledave is gestating. Right now she’s Leader Of The Pack–and that’s what youse guys are. Your poppin’ quality brewkies ain’t misleading the fine nose of Clancy–not that he doesn’t appreciate it. Damn fine hound, there. You got the Guinness but Mrs. Beagledave is a-brewin’ a _puppy_. _ahem_ He’s a _hound_: acute nose, intense pack instincts. The undies tell the story to da beagle: puppy’s on the way! His pack is increasing. You’re twittering and twitching and so is he, because great thing’s are happening. He’ll companionably share your Guinness while pitying you for not being able to track the miraculous happenings through undie-sniffing. Stoke the silky ears and fer cripes sake don’t offer the poor hound a puff on the tradional celebratory ceegar. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 1:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/22 "2001-05-29T01:47:31Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\* but once the panel’s gone, what good are they?_\* \<------placing arm gently around **jarbaby** ’s shoulder. Um…let’s sit here where the light is dim, and have a nice chat about just THIS topic, shall we ?? 😛 God, I got tears on this one. I love it !!! And, it gets better !!! > [@](#): > > Well, in my defense, it’s not like she eats out the crotch with surgical precision… 😃 😃 Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2001, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/23 "2001-05-29T23:37:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > \*\*Sorry, **Beagledave**. You know what they say, a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste 😃 \*\* It’s not so much the reference to unmentionables that’s bothersome…it’s the reference to unmentionables that doesn’t include a gratuitious flirt thrown my way 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.White](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Mr.White](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.White)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/24 "2001-05-30T00:34:07Z")
**jarbabyj** stated: PULL THEM FROM HER RECTAL CAVITY LIKE SOME HORRIFICALLY BIZARRE MAGIC TRICK. :eek: TMI TMI _but sitting here reading this line and visualizing jarbabyj in a tug of war with the dog’s butt and laughing the lower portion of my anatomy off_ ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/25 "2001-05-30T03:16:05Z")
in my semi-professional opinon as a former vet tech, let me assure you that its not the breed of dog, but the fact that well, its a dog. I live in a condo complex of 12 bldgs. Mine is the only one that allows dogs…you get to know your neighbors really well. On a nice summer evening we have been known to congragate out front of the bldg and discuss the most disgusting things our dogs have done. Just about everyone has had perfectly good Fruit of the Looms turned into Fredrick’s of Hollywood. My dog, also lives for socks and undies and has been know to run through the house with said item in his mouth. Fortunately, he only pulls out the bras when I have gentleman callers. His favorite delicacy is **warning GROSS TMI ahead** \*\* well,you had your chance…a used tampon. I, like Jarbabyj, have had occasion to pull something foreign from my dog’s ass…all I can say is Thank God for the string. Hang in there Dave, and ---
**Author:** ![Miss\_Creant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b487fb/32.png) [@Miss\_Creant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miss_Creant)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/26 "2001-05-30T03:19:10Z")
whoops and bungee cord that hamper shut! ---
**Author:** ![Spavined\_Gelding](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@Spavined\_Gelding](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spavined_Gelding)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/27 "2001-05-30T05:02:43Z")
Just a minute here, friends. The almost universal experience is that dogs have disgusting taste. Every dog I have ever known regards the opportunity to roll in a cow pie or eat something that has been dead long enough to putrefy as the high point of its day. There is a reason for the “dog breath” epithet. Dogs also have an affinity for anything that smells like the Master. A Labrador of my acquaintance once picked the master’s shotgun out of a pile of a dozen guns and ate the Master’s gun case, leaving only the zipper. Your problem, Dave, can have one of two explanations. Either the beast is much fonder of Mrs. Beagle than it is of you or you guys aren’t using enough bleach. ---
**Author:** ![anya\_marie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ebca7d/32.png) [@anya\_marie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/anya_marie)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/28 "2001-05-30T16:09:54Z")
My friend’s Weimaraner has eaten a mercury thermometre, some Adderall, and a hair dryer. Thank God my Scottish terrier only eats tampons. ---
**Author:** ![E-Sabbath](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e19adc/32.png) [@E-Sabbath](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-Sabbath)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2001, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/29 "2001-05-30T23:29:48Z")
Tampons? Ha! I wish! You want something that smells of the Master? I introduce you to my grandfather’s German Shepherd, known, now and forever, as Brandy “Ace Bandage” Rubin. Well, see, I had to housesit for a week while they went upstate to Corning… Misrecall why. Understandably, Brandy missed them, and, one day, whilst I was at school, decided he felt a bit peckish. And he ate an entire rolled ace bandage, of the sort that my grandfather would wrap around his leg for some reason or other. It was no-longer rolled, but remained intact, by the time he was finished digesting. And, lo, he did run happily around the house with about half a foot of the yard or so long bandage protruding merrily from his bum. I can safely say that I have had considerably more enjoyable evenings. It is not fun to sit in a bathtub and pull, inch by inch, stretchy, fouled, ace bandage from a dog’s anus. Still, I must say, I am _quite_ sure that the dog was very clean internally, by the time I was done. Took the better part of two hours. Now, I wish I had a camera. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2001, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516/30 "2001-06-01T00:59:13Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by featherlou \* > > \*\*Sorry, **Beagledave**. You know what they say, a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste 😃 \*\* > > It’s not so much the reference to unmentionables that’s bothersome…it’s the reference to unmentionables that doesn’t include a gratuitious flirt thrown my way 😃 \*\* So, Dave, how _you_ doin’? (There, is that better?) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-beagle-lets-you-and-me-step-outside/66516.md?page=1)