# Hey bitch with the bacon! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 29, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733 "2003-07-29T19:59:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/1 "2003-07-29T19:59:58Z")
I don’t usually use terms like that, but this is the Pit, and it’s nicely alliterative. This morning, I was getting a cup of coffee. As I was leaving the break area, a woman comes in carrying a paper plate with raw bacon on it and pops it into a microwave and starts it up. There’s no paper towel or another plate to contain the grease. Within moments, her bacon is going to be sizzling and splattering grease all over the inside of the oven for someone else to be grossed-out over. Aside from being just rude to make a big mess like that, what’s up with bringing raw bacon to the office? Your kitchen at home is for cooking. The kitchenette at work is normally for your coffee and tea, and warming up lunch. Want a full breakfast? There’s plenty of fast-food joints and sit-down restaurants around that are much better-equipped for cooking food than an office breakroom. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/2 "2003-07-29T20:01:56Z")
That’s disgusting. However, perhaps she did a thorough job of cleaning up after herself, in which case your rant is moot. Well, except for that disgusting bacon smell lingering in the microwave. Yick. ---
**Author:** ![UrbanChic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/9dc877/32.png) [@UrbanChic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UrbanChic)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/3 "2003-07-29T20:08:59Z")
I’m still not quite sure what she did to incur your wrath. What’s wrong with being frugal and nuking your bacon in the office? As alice mentioned, how did you know she wasn’t going to clean up after herself? The next time she does this will you ask her to nuke a few slices for me? ---
**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/4 "2003-07-29T20:13:19Z")
Mmmmmmnnn Bacon. Did she clean up after herself? Maybe you could ask her to do so if there is a mess. Maybe you need a rule about food smells in your office. Also if you have any Jewish or Muslim employees, you might make a specific rule against using the office microwave for cooking pork products. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/5 "2003-07-29T20:13:51Z")
I can so top this! Last place that I worked we had this woman that would take raw chicken, coat it with Italian salad dressing and then nuke it. The smell while it was cooking was enough to clear the room and it lingered for hours and hours. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/6 "2003-07-29T20:22:18Z")
I’ll never forget watching two homeless folks in college carry a pack of raw bacon out of a 7-11, sit on the curb and start peeling strips off and eating them raw. ---
**Author:** ![ouisey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9fc29f/32.png) [@ouisey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouisey)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/7 "2003-07-29T20:47:05Z")
We had a guy at work who was on the Atkins diet cook his bacon in the microwave. God it smelled good. We’d all sit around with tummies growling. Then the owner told him to stop it. I dunno, maybe it was cutting down on work production. BTW, I was a bitch with bacon last night…we had the best BLT’s with tomatoes from the garden. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/8 "2003-07-29T20:50:43Z")
WEll, bacon is cured, so I think it’s okay to eat it. However, making a mess of the microwave like that is NOT okay. And a paper plate-wouldn’t that be a fire hazard? ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/9 "2003-07-29T21:03:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ouisey \* > \*\*BTW, I was a bitch with bacon last night…we had the best BLT’s with tomatoes from the garden. \*\* Well, foo on you. 😉 I grow tomatoes every year. Every year, by now, I have plenty of tomatoes. Except this year, when the monsoons came and nearly drowned my tomato plants. I’m _hoping_ to have tomatoes by the third week of August. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/10 "2003-07-29T21:13:12Z")
I just went back to the break room to get a soda and took a quick peek in the microwave. In a word, ugh. Fortunately, the building does have a pretty thorough janitorial staff, so it will most likely be cleaned out tonight. But still, it’s five minutes’ work that the cleaning crew shouldn’t be taking just because someone wanted hot bacon at work. ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Tiger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/6de8d8/32.png) [@Mama\_Tiger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Tiger)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/11 "2003-07-29T21:15:44Z")
Well, leave an anonymous note on the microwave saying, “To the cleaning staff: The person who left this nasty mess for you works at the third desk on your right down the hall.” Then see how well HER office gets cleaned for the next month. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![pencilpusher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d6d6ee/32.png) [@pencilpusher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pencilpusher)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/12 "2003-07-29T21:19:52Z")
Oh **Mama** I LIKE that 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![teela\_brown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d9b06d/32.png) [@teela\_brown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/teela_brown)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/13 "2003-07-29T21:36:22Z")
Hmmmm, I regularly microwave bacon on a thick piece of newspaper covered which is covered by a couple of paper towels. The paper absorbs all the fat, and I notice little or no grease up on the walls or ceiling of the interior - nothing that can’t be removed with a swipe or two of a paper towel, anyway. I wouldn’t do it at work, though. I might have to share the delectable bacon I’ve been buying at a country store smokehouse in Corralitos lately. Can’t beat it with a BLT made with the newly ripening tomatoes out of the garden. ::drool:: ---
**Author:** ![Apricot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/bcef8e/32.png) [@Apricot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apricot)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/14 "2003-07-29T21:58:07Z")
Ya know, they make pre-cooked bacon. Maybe you should point that out to the offending co-worker. Seems tailor-made for work kitchenettes. ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/15 "2003-07-29T21:59:59Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Ya know, they make pre-cooked bacon. \*\* And the infallability of Barenaked Ladies is struck down forever. ---
**Author:** ![CuriousCanuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@CuriousCanuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CuriousCanuck)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/16 "2003-07-29T22:40:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Juniper200 \* > \*\*And the infallability of Barenaked Ladies is struck down forever. \*\* I believe they refered to “pre-wrapped” bacon. I’m just here to restore your faith in BNL, the bestest band ever 🙂🙂 ---
**Author:** ![tarfu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tarfu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tarfu)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2003, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/17 "2003-07-29T23:08:16Z")
Mmmmmm…bacon and paper sandwich… ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/18 "2003-07-30T00:43:57Z")
Mmmmm…unexplained bacon… ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/19 "2003-07-30T01:35:13Z")
Why was she microwaving bacon? That’s just wrong. Bacon should be fried. Every time. Simmering in its own grease. And then you fry the eggs in the grease. Mmmmmmmmm…bacon. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/20 "2003-07-30T02:14:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dijon Warlock \* > \*\*Mmmmm…unexplained bacon… \*\* Oh yeah! That’s the best kind! 😛 And **lieu** : AAAAUGH! Raw bacon? Right out of the package? I think I would’ve called the cops right there! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733.md?page=2)