# Hey bitch with the bacon! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 29, 2003, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733 "2003-07-29T19:59:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Svt4Him](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7feea3/32.png) [@Svt4Him](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Svt4Him)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/21 "2003-07-30T03:19:20Z")
You have to give her some credit though. She could stay at home, cook bacon in her microwave, have to clean it, then eat it quick before she rushes out to work, or she could bring it to work, get paid to cook it, and not rush anywhere. Hmmm, next time can you ask her how long she cooks it for? ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/22 "2003-07-30T05:33:38Z")
It’s BACON!! baconbaconbacobaconbaconbacon BACON!! Well _Someone_ had to… ---
**Author:** ![Ex-PFC\_Wintergreen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ecc23a/32.png) [@Ex-PFC\_Wintergreen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ex-PFC_Wintergreen)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/23 "2003-07-30T05:41:04Z")
Dorothy Parker used to chew raw bacon. She said it made her feel less feminine, or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/24 "2003-07-30T06:31:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Tony Montana \* > \*\*It’s BACON!! baconbaconbacobaconbaconbacon BACON!! > > \*\* What’s it say? **I CAN’T READ!** [sub]Gawd, I love that part…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![CanvasShoes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/74df32/32.png) [@CanvasShoes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CanvasShoes)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/25 "2003-07-30T06:44:52Z")
UUUUGGGH!! Nuked bacon? It turns out all limp and yukky!!! Shame on her!! Ruining a perfectly good “sin” food!! ---
**Author:** ![Ferrous](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Ferrous](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferrous)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 6:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/26 "2003-07-30T06:52:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by CanvasShoes \* > \*\*UUUUGGGH!! Nuked bacon? It turns out all limp and yukky!!! Shame on her!! Ruining a perfectly good “sin” food!! \*\* Truly, it doesn’t, if you do it right. Have you ever done it? As has been mentioned, you need a lot of paper towels, but it turns out crispy and yummy. It’s not the best way, but it’s still pretty good, and much faster than pan-frying. ---
**Author:** ![fotosbyfrank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/54ee81/32.png) [@fotosbyfrank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fotosbyfrank)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 11:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/27 "2003-07-30T11:51:39Z")
I have one of those stupid trays to cook bacon in the microwave oven. You put the slices in these slots, and run a stick through each end to keep them from shriveling up. 8 minutes later, you have crisp, fat-free, tasteless strips of something brown. Well, it DOES taste better than Bac-os ™ but, not by a whole lot. Since I do have to watch my fat intake, and I love bacon, it’s much better than no bacon at all. _HANDY HOUSEHOLD HINT_ - Do NOT use a George Foreman Grill ™ to cook bacon. I tried it once. Never again! ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/28 "2003-07-30T12:03:33Z")
I use a microwave pan that has a surface like a washboard and a little moat around it to gather the grease. I am what would pass for an expert on bacon, being from Arkansas and all, and I must say that it cooks bacon BETTER THAN FRYING! ::hiding from the inevitable lightning strike ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/29 "2003-07-30T12:05:03Z")
Be careful, **An Arky**. I may have to report your comments to the authorities. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/30 "2003-07-30T12:07:32Z")
[Dr. Smith] Please, please, don’t report me to the authorities! [/Dr. Smith] ---
**Author:** ![Gravity](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gravity/32/14322_2.png) [@Gravity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gravity)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/31 "2003-07-30T12:24:49Z")
I bake my bacon on a broiler pan in the oven with lots of fresh-ground pepper or lemon pepper on it. Delicious. ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/32 "2003-07-30T12:51:36Z")
It’s **BACON!** Sorry, coudn’t resist, but I agree with the OP that she shoud have covered the bacon with a paper-towel. If she does that at home, I would hate to see her kitchen. I like the note on the microwave idea, too! 😃 Q ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/33 "2003-07-30T13:31:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Neurotik \* > \*\*Why was she microwaving bacon? That’s just wrong. Bacon should be fried. Every time. Simmering in its own grease. And then you fry the eggs in the grease. Mmmmmmmmm…bacon. \*\* Eggs? Do they not have mushrooms where you come from, or something? They hold the flavour way better than eggs, IMHO. Btw I’m fairly sure I’ve eaten raw bacon once upon a time. The lean, anyway: the fat and rind is pretty much unchewable. Cooked is better, though. ---
**Author:** ![cleosia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@cleosia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleosia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/34 "2003-07-30T15:48:57Z")
_originally posted by **fotosbyfrank** _ > [@](#): > > DOES taste better than Bac-os ™ Try Hormel Bacon Bits. If it’s Hormel, it’s real bacon! We do bacon under the broiler in the oven but on a rack with a pan under it to catch the grease. It gets nice and crispy that way. _MMMMMMM, Crispy!_ ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/35 "2003-07-30T16:26:47Z")
I prefer turkey bacon, which is less greasy and it cooks easier in the microwave. I like my bacon nice and tender and juicy. It’s MEAT, it shouldn’t be burnt to a crisp! ---
**Author:** ![Faruiza](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecd19e/32.png) [@Faruiza](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Faruiza)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/36 "2003-07-30T16:44:37Z")
Trichonosis, people. Raw bacon, indeed. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Pebs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Johnny\_Pebs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Pebs)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/37 "2003-07-30T16:45:03Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lieu \* > \*\*I’ll never forget watching two homeless folks in college carry a pack of raw bacon out of a 7-11, sit on the curb and start peeling strips off and eating them raw. \*\* This makes me think about Mr. Gray in Dreamcatcher (the book, haven’t seen the movie), when he makes Pete stop at the convenience store to buy bacon then forces him to make raw bacon and mayo sandwiches in the parking lot. IIRC he scarfed down a whole pound of raw bacon. :eek: Pebs ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2003, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733/38 "2003-07-30T17:00:38Z")
This of course happened when I was in college, not when the homeless people were. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-bitch-with-the-bacon/191733.md?page=1)