# Hey Der Trihs, over here **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 15, 2008, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926 "2008-11-15T23:48:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/481 "2008-11-19T03:55:53Z")
On second thought, as I am unable to edit, can I get a mod to please scrub my full name? A full name and DOB can be pretty damaging in the mundane sense. I will PM that information to **KGS** , however, as the challenge still stands. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/482 "2008-11-19T03:58:41Z")
> [@Tristan](#): > > By your way of thinking, I have killed 2 human beings. My count is closer to 25. (The plane crash really jacked up the total, whoops.) Nathaniel’s count numbers in the hundreds. However, his karma is not my karma, he acts independently and cannot transfer his karma onto my soul, so that part doesn’t affect me. > [@](#): > > So, to you sir, I issue this challenge, if you can hack it: > > My given name is \. I am a sag, born in the year \. > > My “Magickal” name, when such a thing was important to me, was “Archimedes”. > > In general, during invocation, I would call on the Celtic pantheon, though I learned that names really didn’t matter. According to what I have learned, apparently I was rather Hermetic later on, in that I didn’t believe that candles and incense were necessary to inact a change. > > I live in Western Pennsylvania. > > Send your Nathaniel. Cause badness in my life, and I will report it. But if nothing untoward or out of the ordinary happens, I will report that as well. > > I absolve you of any backlash on this. Bring it on. All right. Nathaniel now knows where you dwell. First, your specific personal info was bullshit, but we knew that already. However, you did mention Pennsylvania, which counts as a “hit” as it’s deep within Nathaniel’s territory (as opposed to southern VA) – he picked up your rhythm and that’s how he was able to find you. It took a very long time, but spirits naturally travel via free-standing wormholes (remember, they exist outside of our common Time Dimension) so from our perspective it took but an eyeblink. Now, I shall let you in on a secret. Nathaniel does not hurt people. Contrary to popular belief, he is far too sensitive and compassionate to ever harm a living creature, not even cancer. However, he senses pain deep within your soul, deeply buried despair which he can barely stand to detect. Nathaniel can make your pain go away. He can deliver you to the afterlife, where he knows you will be happy forever. He does this with compassion. It hurts him, but only for a moment as he knows his compassionate blade will be seen as a blessing by you. However, he cannot do this by himself. You must decide, either yes or no. Do you accept his compassionate gift? Do not answer me, answer Nathaniel directly. He is standing by your bedside, waiting for you. Tell him your answer, and he will deliver you to paradise while you sleep, if that is your choice. To all outside observers, it will appear as natural causes. Whichever your choice, make sure you do voice an answer. If you do not answer, I cannot predict what Nathaniel will do – he wants your pain to go away, he desperately wants to cure your pain. He’s begging me to let him end your pain. Go inside, now. Nathaniel is waiting for you. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/483 "2008-11-19T04:07:16Z")
Uh huh. “Nathaniel,” I quote, startling my co-worker. “Take away my pain, and ease my suffering, as you perceive it.” As for the personal info, I have no reason to lie. Now, for my treacherous drive on icy roads home, as my shift is over. I’ll see you fine folks tomorrow! (for the record, I did state the above line out loud. My coworker, while amused, has cautioned me against “messing with weirdo’s” once I told him the deal.) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/484 "2008-11-19T04:29:27Z")
Is Nathaniel a psychopomp? I’ve always wanted to meet a psychopomp, like a shinigami or something. But yeah, are you sure he’s real? I mean, **Tristan** ain’t dead, Jim. I’m guessing you will counter that he didn’t really want to die. As an aside, this thread has gone on so long that I can’t remember it all. It went something like this right? KGS pits Der Trihs, but it backfires 5 pages of bashing KGS, with a few ppl potshotting Der Trish. 2 pages of discussing the basic definition of science 1 page of aura talk 1 page of talking about Randi 1+ pages of Nathaniel, the friendly ghost. Wheeeeeee~ ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/485 "2008-11-19T04:40:47Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > a few ppl potshotting Der Trish. I’d call 'em broadsides rather than potshots. 😃 But yeah, this thread has been full of good crazy. Worth reading every page just for the comedy value. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/486 "2008-11-19T05:50:46Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > But yeah, are you sure he’s real? I mean, **Tristan** ain’t dead, Jim. I’m guessing you will counter that he didn’t really want to die. Nah, I’m expecting his claim to be that I am lying, much like he discounted my earlier posted information. And, were I to put a guess out there (of the oogy-boogy variety), I would figure that Nathaniel the Friendly Ghost (aside: how awesome is that?) is a thoughtform gone rogue. Well, off to bed! ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/487 "2008-11-19T06:48:52Z")
> [@Autolycus](#): > > Is Nathaniel a psychopomp? I’ve always wanted to meet a psychopomp, like a shinigami or something. He’s performed that role once. But remember, I’m not imposing any pre-structured mythology here. I’m more like an anthropologist, observing ghosts & spirits in their natural habitat. My findings so far are quite radically different from commonly held beliefs – it’s very inspiring work. **Tristan** …are you still awake? You didn’t follow my instructions properly! I told you, Nathaniel is waiting _by your bedside_, not your work cubicle. He didn’t hear you when you spoke, the spirits aren’t omniscient. I did forward your message, but Nathaniel needs to hear YOUR voice, not mine. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/488 "2008-11-19T07:57:28Z")
Damn! My fucking tyre’s flat, for no reason at all. :mad: Oh wait, no it isn’t. Fancy making a mistake like that. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/489 "2008-11-19T08:19:33Z")
I had a flat two weeks ago. Maybe some sort of misdirected multidimentional magickal misfire? If so-- I don’t appreciate it, y’all. Be careful where you point that shit. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/490 "2008-11-19T08:27:32Z")
Aw shit, I totally forgot about the flat tire thing. :smack: Oh well…Nate can’t be two places at once, so I guess **Hamadryad** won’t need to call the Auto Club tomorrow after all. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/491 "2008-11-19T08:54:48Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Out of curiosity…what’s your favorite type of [hamadryad](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hamadryad)? I’m guessing it’s #7 on that list (Ampelos; aka vines, esp. grape vines) but that’s mainly based on [this post](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=254447), which btw is what you skeptics call a “hot read”. 🆒 > > Interestingly, your OP in that link does contain Nathaniel’s true name…that’s right, “Nathaniel” is not his real name. (Spirits have privacy concerns just like regular human beings.) :eek: Nathaniel’s real name is Ron Jeremy!?! :eek: That just makes reading the following and imagining Ron Jeremy standing over \*\*Tristan \*\*a HELL of a lot more creepy. > [@KGS](#): > > Nathaniel can make your pain go away. He can deliver you to the afterlife, where he knows you will be happy forever. He does this with compassion. It hurts him, but only for a moment as he knows his compassionate blade will be seen as a blessing by you. > > However, he cannot do this by himself. You must decide, either yes or no. Do you accept his compassionate gift? > > Do not answer me, answer Nathaniel directly. He is standing by your bedside, waiting for you. Tell him your answer, and he will deliver you to paradise while you sleep, if that is your choice. Bow Chicka Bow-wow! ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/492 "2008-11-19T08:57:55Z")
Wait a second, on second re-reading of the comments… > [@KGS](#): > > Do not answer me, answer Nathaniel directly. He is standing by your bedside, waiting for you. Tell him your answer, and he will deliver you to paradise while you sleep, if that is your choice. To all outside observers, it will appear as natural causes. > > Whichever your choice, make sure you do voice an answer. If you do not answer, I cannot predict what Nathaniel will do – he wants your pain to go away, he desperately wants to cure your pain. He’s begging me to let him end your pain. Are you basically asking \*\*Tristan \*\*to choose to die in his sleep? Isn’t that kind of a dick thing to do? ---
**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/493 "2008-11-19T09:22:58Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Do not answer me, answer Nathaniel directly. He is standing by your bedside, waiting for you. Tell him your answer, and he will deliver you to paradise while you sleep, if that is your choice. To all outside observers, it will appear as natural causes. I can see you have more than enough crazy to go around, but shouldn’t you have grown out of expecting people to talk to your imaginary friends? ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/494 "2008-11-19T09:26:26Z")
> [@RoOsh](#): > > Isn’t that kind of a dick thing to do? He already punched three holes in my right front tire two weeks ago by mistake, what more evidence do you need? ---
**Author:** ![leander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bcef8e/32.png) [@leander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leander)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/495 "2008-11-19T11:22:49Z")
> [@Q.E.D](#): > > Holy crap, what a loser. Radio Shack Google boy calling me a loser. It burns. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Nader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Darth\_Nader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Nader)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/496 "2008-11-19T11:56:18Z")
**leander** , could you please knock it the fuck off? We all get it, you hate QED with the burning pain of 1,000 impacted anal warts. So please just go ahead and pit him, stop dropping turds everywhere, ok? ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/497 "2008-11-19T12:12:10Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > Aw shit, I totally forgot about the flat tire thing. :smack: > > Oh well…Nate can’t be two places at once, so I guess **Hamadryad** won’t need to call the Auto Club tomorrow after all. I already told you I’m not driving anywhere today. (Also, you misunderstood my earlier post in which I mentioned hurting or inconveniencing an innocent person - I didn’t mean ME, I meant the person to whomever it was supposed to HAPPEN. Big duh. Though the over-reaction you implied on my part is pretty funny, all things considered.) The spirits you send places (but don’t control) and to whom you suggest things (but can’t order around) are staggeringly weak and inefficient, don’t you think? ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/498 "2008-11-19T12:53:24Z")
> [@Hamadryad](#): > > The spirits you send places (but don’t control) and to whom you suggest things (but can’t order around) are staggeringly weak and inefficient, don’t you think? Oh no, no, you got it all wrong, they’re actually extraordinarily efficient, and also extremely clever – by making their workings indistinguishable from chance, they remain undetected and secret, which is probably beneficial to them for some reason involving soul-munching demons or something like that. Of course, that also means that the world would look exactly like it does now if they didn’t exist at all, but that just shows precisely how efficient they are at hiding! ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/499 "2008-11-19T14:20:33Z")
> [@KGS](#): > > **Tristan** …are you still awake? You didn’t follow my instructions properly! I told you, Nathaniel is waiting _by your bedside_, not your work cubicle. He didn’t hear you when you spoke, the spirits aren’t omniscient. I did forward your message, but Nathaniel needs to hear YOUR voice, not mine. Nope, alive and well, despite turning my quote above into a kind of sing-songy bit, and singing it on my drive home to work (made up songs get stuck in my head all the time), and then saying it one more time before I turned off my light to go to sleep. But I am alive and well, with no ill effects. I expect I did something wrong, I’m sure. That’s the only possible explanation, right? And thank you **Giraffe**! ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2008, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926/500 "2008-11-19T14:29:13Z")
So you can kill people with your imaginary friends now? Holy shit, if you guys don’t stop we’re going to have to come up with new adjectives to describe this level of crazy, because ‘batshit’ just isn’t covering it anymore. Seriously dude, you need help. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-der-trihs-over-here/472926.md?page=26)