# Hey Dex, can you read? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 22, 2006, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413 "2006-10-22T04:42:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/41 "2006-10-22T18:02:20Z")
[QUOTE=Campion] Leaving aside the rest of your post, please provide me citation to a post where **Otto** called you a homophobe. Not a post where you believe that one could read between the lines to find an insult, but a post where, as you have repeatedly asserted, **Otto** called you a homophobe. Because, frankly, if you can’t do that, this statement is incorrect: [/QUOTE] > **[Gray's Anatomy's T.R. Knight comes out of the closet. He is gay!](https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=392926)** > > Link Quel surprise! Post 29 where **Otto** writes: > [@](#): > > Of course the idea that someone’s being gay is a “disappointment” is kind of nasty too. Post 32 where **Otto** writes: > [@](#): > > If you don’t understand why the “what a shame he’s gay” sentiment is insulting I’m not sure if I can explain it to you. He’s very clearly writing that I feel being gay is shameful and disappointing. I do not feel that way. I never have and I resent any insinuations to the contrary. ---
**Author:** ![Campion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@Campion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Campion)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/42 "2006-10-22T18:16:27Z")
Got it. You can’t find a post where **Otto** called you a homophobe. I hadn’t seen one, but thought perhaps I’d simply missed it. But you can’t miss what isn’t there. With that, I’m done. Not worth my time either. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/43 "2006-10-22T18:30:06Z")
[QUOTE=Campion] Got it. You can’t find a post where **Otto** called you a homophobe. I hadn’t seen one, but thought perhaps I’d simply missed it. But you can’t miss what isn’t there. With that, I’m done. Not worth my time either. [/QUOTE] So if I wrote, “If you don’t understand why the “what a shame he’s **black** ,” sentiment is insulting I’m not sure if I can explain it to you,” you wouldn’t think I was calling you a racist? What if I wrote, “If you don’t understand why the “what a shame he’s **Jewish** ,” sentiment is insulting I’m not sure if I can explain it to you,” you wouldn’t think I was calling you an anti-Semite? Really? :dubious: He basically wrote that not only am I a homophobe but I’m too dumb to understand why I’m a homophobe. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/44 "2006-10-22T18:33:26Z")
In the spirit of the thread, **Campion** , you’re right - he didn’t call her a homophobe. He implied she held homophobic beliefs. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![ladyfoxfyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ad7895/32.png) [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/45 "2006-10-22T18:37:02Z")
Or better, not that she held homophobic beliefs, but that her comments simply reminded him of the fact that he thinks homophobic ideas are nasty and offensive. ---
**Author:** ![Jaade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@Jaade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jaade)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/46 "2006-10-22T20:01:34Z")
[QUOTE=uglybeech] I’m going to go the offenderati route here too and side with \*\*Otto \*\* - at least on \*\*LB’s \*\* comment. Yeah, I understand that \*\*LB \*\* probably didn’t mean anything by it, other than the cliche’d “all the good ones are gay or married”. But I have to tell you - I used to know someone who - anytime someone was gay would comment “isn’t that sad?” or “Oh, it’s too bad because he’s so good looking.” or “It’s so sad, their kids will have a really hard time with it.” It was always couched in some variant of good will and sympathy, but as a pattern it was hard to listen to, until one day I just went off on her. The blowback was pretty hard, because I couldn’t, of course, \*prove \* that there was anything homophobic in any given remark. And I think she actually did feel sympathy for gay people. But I’m still glad she finally got the message that NO IT’S NOT A SHAME THAT HE’S GAY. At least around me. [/QUOTE] I don’t feel that **LavenderBlue’s** comment was the same as your friend’s comment at all. Basically, her comment is that she wouldn’t like to find out that one of the actors is gay, because she finds him hot and under the right circumstances wouldn’t mind chatting him up. That’s entirely different than “their kids will have a really hard time with it.”, isn’t it? One implies that being gay is taboo in society or difficult for others to understand and accept while the other just says he’s hot enough for me, I’d take him home. (Not saying that was **LavenderBlue’s** meaning exactly, but that is the general sentiment behind those words.) Those aren’t the same at all. ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/47 "2006-10-22T21:06:45Z")
[QUOTE=LavenderBlue] :rolleyes: What I really don’t understand how you can find **Otto’s** snarky “Yeah, because you had a shot at any of them,” comment funny even if he had put a smiley next to it. It’s just a nasty, unprovoked and inappropriate comment. He followed it up with another one by stating, “of course the idea that someone’s being gay is a “disappointment” is kind of nasty too,” when I said and implied nothing of the of sort. [/QUOTE] If you roll your eyes all the way back can you manage to find your brain? “Yeah, because you had a shot at any of them,” is not nasty. It’s not particularly funny, either. What it is is _truth_. With very few exceptions, it applies to every one of us on the dope. Unless you live where the actors live or work, or associate with them or run in the same social circles, or stalk them with a gun, you, as in you personally, have absolutely no shot at them. Not one. The observation had absolutely nothing to do with your personality or your looks or even your bank balance. It was not made in response to your stated desire to go to prom with the captain of your H.S. football team. That would have been snarky. > [@](#): > > Since I’ve also stated my initial comments about the guys on the show were tongue in cheek I also don’t get where you think I’m upset about allegedly “never getting a shot at bunch of grungy-looking guys on a TV show.” If you don’t get that (after I’ve repeatedly stated it), maybe the “eggshell-skull” here is your own? Of course you were upset, or you wouldn’t have deemed his comment “undeservedly nasty.” > [@](#): > > I am only upset because I am needlessly being called a homophobe by a man who can’t seem to understand why his comments were out of line. > > The fault here is entirely his, not mine. The first person at fault was you, because you took an innocuous comment as a personal affront. Otto then got snippy. You took further offence. As did Otto. Both of you need to go to your rooms and grow some thicker skin. Why _would_ it be a disappointment if Isaiah Washington said he was gay? Eye candy is eye candy. Gay, straight, asexual, it wouldn’t matter. It’s not as if you have a shot at him, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2006, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/48 "2006-10-22T21:34:24Z")
[QUOTE=peri] …What it is is _truth_. With very few exceptions, it applies to every one of us on the dope. Unless you live where the actors live or work, or associate with them or run in the same social circles, or stalk them with a gun, you, as in you personally, have absolutely no shot at them. /QUOTE] You mean I’m NOT going to hook up with Angelina now that she and Brad are on the outs? _ **DREAM CRUSHER** _ Are we a little down on ourself today? Seriously though, I disagree, or maybe I agree in a sense, but truth can stilll be an insult if carelessly applied. It may well have been (probably) true, but it was still delivered as a smart-ass insult, even if intended as a joke – a poor one. ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/49 "2006-10-26T00:10:21Z")
I love you guys. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/50 "2006-10-26T03:23:11Z")
[QUOTE=lno] I love you guys. [/QUOTE] Otto too? ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/51 "2006-10-26T03:41:23Z")
[QUOTE=lno] I love you guys. [/QUOTE] But we’re all television stars and you don’t have a shot at any of us. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/52 "2006-10-26T03:54:06Z")
:d ---
**Author:** ![peri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/67e7ee/32.png) [@peri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/peri)\ **Post date:** [October 26, 2006, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413/53 "2006-10-26T03:57:05Z")
😃 damned capitals [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-dex-can-you-read/377413.md?page=2)