# Hey Doper, yo' mamma!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 13, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621 "2010-09-13T16:54:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/1 "2010-09-13T16:54:37Z")
Yo’ mamma’s so ugly, that when the police saw her looking out her bedroom window, they arrested her for indecent exposure!
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### Author:  [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/2 "2010-09-13T18:38:27Z")
Your mama’s so fat that it negatively affects her self-esteem.
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/3 "2010-09-13T18:41:58Z")
Yo’ mamma’s so dirty, she has to sneak up on the bathwater. 😛
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### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/4 "2010-09-13T18:43:18Z")
Your mama’s so fat that when see sits around the house… she sits _ **around** _ the house.
When she hauls ass, it takes two trips.
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### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/5 "2010-09-13T18:45:55Z")
> [@tdn](#):
>
> Your mama’s so fat that it negatively affects her self-esteem.
I hate to admit this one took me a second to register. I can’t stop laughing. Kudos.
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/6 "2010-09-13T19:05:57Z")
> [@PlainJain](#):
>
> Your mama’s so fat that when see sits around the house… she sits _ **around** _ the house.
>
> When she hauls ass, it takes two trips.
Yo mamma’s head so big, they thought she’d escaped from the Macy’s parade.
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### Author:  [@Nancarrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nancarrow)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/7 "2010-09-13T19:06:32Z")
Yo mama’s so fat, she’s the fourth classical test of general relativity.
[taps microphone] hello…? Is this thing on?
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### Author:  [@InterestedObserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InterestedObserver)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/8 "2010-09-13T19:08:51Z")
Oh yeah? Well YOUR mama’s so OLD, when she was in school, they didn’t HAVE history!
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/9 "2010-09-13T19:10:01Z")
> [@InterestedObserver](#):
>
> Oh yeah? Well YOUR mama’s so OLD, when she was in school, they didn’t HAVE history!
And yo’ mamma’s so old she farts dust. Oh, yes she does!
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### Author:  [@InterestedObserver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InterestedObserver)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/10 "2010-09-13T19:14:13Z")
AND yo’ mama’s so FAT, light BENDS around her.
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### Author:  [@Yonose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yonose)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/11 "2010-09-13T19:15:44Z")
Yo momma so fat, when she falls off the bed, she falls off both sides.
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### Author:  [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/12 "2010-09-13T19:16:03Z")
> [@tdn](#):
>
> Your mama’s so fat that it negatively affects her self-esteem.
_Ha!_
Your mama’s so old, her first birthday cake didn’t have a candle on it, 'cause they hadn’t invented fire yet!
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/13 "2010-09-13T19:16:07Z")
Your mamma is so old, when she went to church she said: “Oh, my dear Jesus, when did you get all grown up?”
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### Author:  [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/14 "2010-09-13T19:16:14Z")
You mama so stupid she thought she had to study for a blood test.
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### Author:  [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/15 "2010-09-13T19:16:31Z")
Yo mamma’s so ugly she went in the bank and they turned off the surveillance cameras.
Yo mamma’s so short her feet are in her driver’s license picture.
Yo mamma’s so fat when she backs up she goes “Beep! Beep! Beep!”
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### Author:  [@Yonose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yonose)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/16 "2010-09-13T19:21:24Z")
Yo momma so fat it’s easier to go over her than around her
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### Author:  [@Yonose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yonose)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/17 "2010-09-13T19:22:33Z")
> [@descamisado](#):
>
> You mama so stupid she thought she had to study for a blood test.
Yo momma so stupid she _studied_ for a drug test
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### Author:  [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/18 "2010-09-13T19:24:37Z")
Yo’ Mama so fat her \*clothes \*have stretch marks. . .
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/19 "2010-09-13T19:26:32Z")
Yo momma so ugly they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower.
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### Author:  [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/20 "2010-09-13T19:28:20Z")
Yo’ momma’s so fat all her clocks run slow!
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