# Hey Doper, yo' mamma!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 13, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621 "2010-09-13T16:54:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/21 "2010-09-13T19:30:13Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> Yo momma so ugly they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower.
Your momma’s so hairy they thought Bigfoot lived in your house!
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### Author:  [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/22 "2010-09-13T19:31:46Z")
Yo’ momma’s just like a police station—dicks going in and out all night.
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### Author:  [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/23 "2010-09-13T19:34:19Z")
Yo mamma’s so dumb it takes her 2 hours to watch “60 Minutes.”
Yo mamma’s so fat she walked in front of the TV and I missed football season.
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/24 "2010-09-13T19:42:05Z")
Your mamma’s teeth are so yellow, traffic slows down when she smiles.
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### Author:  [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/25 "2010-09-13T19:45:59Z")
Yo mammas so fat I found a Russian harpoon in her ass.
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### Author:  [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/26 "2010-09-13T19:51:19Z")
Yo momma so fat, when she stepped on the bathroom scales, the readout said: To be continued.
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### Author:  [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/27 "2010-09-13T20:02:02Z")
Yo mama so poor she bounces food stamps!!
Yo mama so poor she went to McDonald’s and put a milkshake on layaway.
Yo mama so poor burglars break in her house and leave money.
Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, and she said, “Moving.”
Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!
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### Author:  [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/28 "2010-09-13T20:08:03Z")
Yo mama so fat, she has a rain shadow.
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/29 "2010-09-13T20:26:58Z")
Your momma’s glasses are _so_ thick, when she looks at a map, she can see people waving!
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### Author:  [@moldybread](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moldybread)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 8:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/30 "2010-09-13T20:54:34Z")
Your momma’s Soooo fat, when she ran away, they had to use all FOUR sides of the milk carton!!
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### Author:  [@Electric\_Warrior](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Warrior)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/31 "2010-09-13T21:00:09Z")
Yo mamma’s so stupid, she took an IQ test and it came back negative.
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/32 "2010-09-13T21:05:30Z")
> [@Electric\_Warrior](#):
>
> Yo mamma’s so stupid, she took an IQ test and it came back negative.
And she was _so_ relieved!
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### Author:  [@Olentzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Olentzero)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/33 "2010-09-13T21:57:11Z")
Yo momma so fat, other fat mommas orbit around her.
Yo momma… had _you_. 'Nuff said.
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### Author:  [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/34 "2010-09-13T22:10:45Z")
Yo momma’s so fat…
…she doesn’t wear 501s, she wears 747s.
…the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.
…she can sell shade.
…she eats Wheat Thicks.
…she puts butter on her aspirin.
…she has to put her belt on with a boomerang.
…she sweats gravy.
…I had to take two trains and a bus just to get on her good side.
…she stepped on a quarter and it broke into five nickels.
…her blood type is Rocky Road.
…when she jumps her radio skips.
…when she jumps the whole band skips.
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### Author:  [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/35 "2010-09-13T22:15:55Z")
Yo momma so fat, her Schwarzschild radius is a meter
Yo momma so fat, her belt size is “equator”
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### Author:  [@Maggie\_the\_Ocelot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maggie_the_Ocelot)
#### Post date: [September 13, 2010, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/36 "2010-09-13T22:16:42Z")
Yo’ mama put a dynamite stick ‘tween her legs, talkin’ bout love is a battlefield.
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### Author:  [@SunSandSuffering](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SunSandSuffering)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/37 "2010-09-14T14:55:54Z")
Your momma’s so fat she can suck-start a Harley.
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### Author:  [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 3:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/38 "2010-09-14T15:18:05Z")
Yo mamma so fat, all the restaurants in town have signs that say: “Maximum Occupancy: 240 Patrons (or yo momma)”.
(Okay, fine, I stole that one.)
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### Author:  [@multimediac17](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/multimediac17)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/39 "2010-09-14T15:23:35Z")
Yo mama is so old, I once told her to act her age, and she died!
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/40 "2010-09-14T15:25:41Z")
Your mamma’s so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and said “Hey, where’s my gumball?”
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