# Hey Doper, yo' mamma!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 13, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621 "2010-09-13T16:54:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/41 "2010-09-14T16:25:44Z")
The difference between yo mamma and a washing machine is a washing machine won’t chase you down the street after you dump a load in it.
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### Author:  [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/42 "2010-09-14T16:27:49Z")
Yo mama teeth so yellow she spits buttermilk.
Sing to the tune of my bonnie lies over the ocean…
Yo mama, yo mama so ugly.
Yo mama so ugly its true.
Yo mama yo mama so ugly.
She almost as ugly as you!
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### Author:  [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/43 "2010-09-14T16:57:20Z")
Yo mama so fat she got more chins that a Chinese phone book.
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### Author:  [@dhkendall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dhkendall)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/44 "2010-09-14T18:32:20Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#):
>
> Yo mama so fat she got more chins that a Chinese phone book.
Yo momma so loose she’s seen more wangs\* than the Premier of China!
- or “dongs”, either works.
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### Author:  [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/45 "2010-09-14T18:44:53Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#):
>
> Yo momma so ugly they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower.
>
> * * *
>
> “You’re a veritable wise man when it comes to human relations, AClockworkMelon.” Freudian Slit
I like the post/sig juxtaposition here.
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### Author:  [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/46 "2010-09-14T18:45:28Z")
Yo mamma so fat, she sat on a rainbow and Skittles popped out.
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### Author:  [@Blue\_Mood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blue_Mood)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/47 "2010-09-14T20:46:27Z")
> [@tdn](#):
>
> Your mama’s so fat that it negatively affects her self-esteem.
That may be. But this here momma’s so stupid that she don’t get that joke. Explanations please?
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### Author:  [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/48 "2010-09-14T21:33:54Z")
Yo momma’s breath is so nasty, when she talks her teeth duck.
And your daddy’s so short he’s got to cuff his underwear. Plus he uses a Dorito as a hang-glider.
Yo momma is so old her Social Security number is “1”.
Yo momma is so ugly…
…your grandma had to breastfeed her from across the room with a slingshot.
…she’s got a face like a pitbull licking piss off a thistle.
…when she goes to the beauty shop they give her an estimate.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [September 14, 2010, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/49 "2010-09-14T22:27:17Z")
Yo momma has a kind face: the kind you want to smack with a shovel!
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### Author:  [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/50 "2010-09-15T00:01:07Z")
> [@Blue\_Mood](#):
>
> > [@tdn](#):
> >
> > Your mama’s so fat that it negatively affects her self-esteem.
>
> That may be. But this here momma’s so stupid that she don’t get that joke. Explanations please?
The joke is that she’s obese and has a very poor self image about herself because of it, which lowers her self esteem.
Yo momma’s so fat she’s a lucky woman when she’s at the beach, she’s the only one that gets a tan.
Thank you Weird Al.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/51 "2010-09-15T01:12:38Z")
> [@PlainJain](#):
>
> Yo mammas so fat I found a Russian harpoon in her ass.
Yo momma’s so fat, when she goes to the beach Greenpeace keeps trying to throw her back in the ocean.
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### Author:  [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/52 "2010-09-15T01:26:43Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> > [@PlainJain](#):
> >
> > Yo mammas so fat I found a Russian harpoon in her ass.
>
> Yo momma’s so fat, when she goes to the beach Greenpeace keeps trying to throw her back in the ocean.
Yo mamas so fat The Sea Shepherds bought another boat to guard her.
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### Author:  [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/53 "2010-09-15T01:28:11Z")
> [@VunderBob](#):
>
> The difference between yo mamma and a washing machine is a washing machine won’t chase you down the street after you dump a load in it.
Kinda like Yo mamas like a race car, burns up 4 rubbers every time she goes out.
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### Author:  [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/54 "2010-09-15T01:35:04Z")
> [@Nancarrow](#):
>
> Yo mama’s so fat, she’s the fourth classical test of general relativity.
Would that be like, Yo mamas so fat, I went to visit her, when I got back everyone else was old.
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### Author:  [@Maiira](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maiira)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/55 "2010-09-15T02:34:57Z")
Yo’ momma’s house is so old, when folks ask where the bathroom is she says “pick a corner.”
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### Author:  [@Blut\_Aus\_Nord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blut_Aus_Nord)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/56 "2010-09-15T02:57:07Z")
Yo momma’s so old, her pussy is haunted.
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### Author:  [@Toxgoddess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Toxgoddess)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/57 "2010-09-15T03:05:47Z")
Yo mamma’s so old she sat behind Jesus in third grade.
Yo mamma’s so fat, when she jumped in the ocean, the whales started singing “We are family.”
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### Author:  [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/58 "2010-09-15T03:46:06Z")
Yo mamma’s so fat when she joined Myspace there was no space left for anyone else.
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### Author:  [@Chefguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chefguy)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/59 "2010-09-15T14:21:38Z")
“Your momma ain’t no astronaut.”
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### Author:  [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)
#### Post date: [September 15, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/60 "2010-09-15T17:02:26Z")
> [@Chefguy](#):
>
> “Your momma ain’t no astronaut.”
Han Solo: “That’s no moon… that’s yo’ mamma!”
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