# Hey Doper, yo' mamma!
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [September 13, 2010, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621 "2010-09-13T16:54:37Z")
**Posts on this page:** 13
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 6:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/61 "2010-09-16T06:17:53Z")
> [@DigitalC](#):
>
> Yo mamma’s so fat when she joined Myspace there was no space left for anyone else.
Nah, yo mamas so ugly not even Tom would be her friend.
---
### Author:  [@Bam\_Boo\_Gut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bam_Boo_Gut)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/62 "2010-09-16T14:23:10Z")
Yo mama was standing on the street corner.
The police came along screaming “break it up”
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### Author:  [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/63 "2010-09-16T14:25:43Z")
Yo mama so fat, when she turn around in bed it shows on earthquake meters.
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### Author:  [@Rafe\_Hollister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rafe_Hollister)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/64 "2010-09-16T14:36:39Z")
Yo momma so old, her social security number is 1.
Yo momma so old, she got Jesus’ beeper number.
Yo momma so fat, her belly gets home 5 minutes before she does.
Yo momma so fat, she’s on both sides of the family.
Yo momma so ugly, when she went to the haunted house, they offered her a job.
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### Author:  [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/65 "2010-09-16T18:30:26Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#):
>
> > [@AClockworkMelon](#):
> >
> > Yo momma so ugly they filmed Gorillas in the Mist in her shower.
> >
> > * * *
> >
> > “You’re a veritable wise man when it comes to human relations, AClockworkMelon.” Freudian Slit
>
> I like the post/sig juxtaposition here.
I’m an artist, really.
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### Author:  [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/66 "2010-09-16T18:47:43Z")
Yo mamma so loose, she don’t got a vagina, she got a clown car.
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### Author:  [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/67 "2010-09-16T18:52:15Z")
Yo momma’s so ugly, when she was born the doctor slapped _her_ momma!
Yo momma’s such a ho, her gynecologist called me to tell me he found my missing baseball bat!
Tell yo mama to stop wearing different colored lipstick; my penis looks like a rainbow!
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### Author:  [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)
#### Post date: [September 16, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/68 "2010-09-16T19:14:10Z")
Sun Tzu says:
The art of war, then, is governed by five constant
factors, to be taken into account in one’s deliberations,
when seeking to determine the conditions obtaining in the field.
These are: (1) The Moral Law; (2) Heaven; (3) Earth;
(4) The Commander; (5) Yo’ mamma.
---
### Author:  [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2010, 5:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/69 "2010-09-17T05:57:34Z")
Your momma so dumb, on the way to the airport she saw a sign that said “Airport Left.” Bitch turned around and went home.
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### Author:  [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)
#### Post date: [September 17, 2010, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/70 "2010-09-17T07:11:14Z")
Yo momma’s so old, she shared a sack lunch with Moses in the first grade.
Yo momma’s so fat, she could kick start a 747.
Yo momma’s so ugly, the tree the ugly stick if from is on the endangered species list now.
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### Author:  [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2010, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/71 "2010-09-19T18:20:19Z")
Yo Mama so ugly, if she fell in the river they’d skim ugly for two weeks!
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### Author:  [@MadTheSwine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MadTheSwine)
#### Post date: [September 19, 2010, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/72 "2010-09-19T18:44:09Z")
Yo’ momma came in the gas station the other day and asked how to get to 275,I told her to try Weight Watchers.
---
### Author:  [@Perciful](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Perciful)
#### Post date: [September 20, 2010, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-doper-yo-mamma/553621/73 "2010-09-20T05:18:45Z")
Yo Momma so fat when you close your eyes to blow out the candles your wish is that the cake will still be there.
Yo Momma so fat she went out in high heels and came back in flip flops.
Yo Momma so hairy yo Daddy used a weed whacker on her face only to find out it was her ass.
Yo Momma is so hairy when your brother was born he died of carpet burns.
Yo Mamma so fat she showed up at a party and they all shouted, Yeah… The Bouncy Castle has arrived!
Yo Momma so dumpy she had to get a restraining order from the garbage man.
Yo Momma so loose you cartwheeled out of her.
Yo Momma so stupid she sold her car for gas money.
Yo Momma so old she lost her virginity to a Druid.
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