# Hey! Eight slices to a fucking pizza, please!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [April 6, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111 "2010-04-06T03:56:24Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Malienation](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4af34b/32.png) [@Malienation](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malienation)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/1 "2010-04-06T03:56:24Z")

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Twelve slices in a pizza? Who started this shit, and why wasn’t I informed in advance? Eight slices is the proper number, with six being acceptable for small pies.

So-called “personal pizzas?” Don’t go there. :mad:

By the way, why do “twelve slicers” suck at it? Every time I get a pie sliced into twelve slices, the slices aren’t even remotely equal in size (I’m looking at _you_, Papa Johns). Yeah, I guess I could demand, _demand_ I say, the eight slice cut preferred by decent law-abiding citizens everywhere, but why the hell do I have to? Besides, they’d probably suck at that too…:mad:

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**Author:** ![Frank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Frank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frank)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/2 "2010-04-06T03:58:19Z")

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I don’t care how many slices are in a pizza, as long as they’re not fucking rectangles.

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**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/3 "2010-04-06T03:59:36Z")

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Personally, I like thin slices. Cut mine into 16ths.

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**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/4 "2010-04-06T04:01:06Z")

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The best is simply “Uncut” no slices, and I can just divide the pizza into 3 or 4 slices as we see fit based on who eats how much, no need to fight over the big slice or the little slice…  
Try that next time and just cut it your way.

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**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/5 "2010-04-06T04:14:07Z")

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True story.  
I was maybe 8 and my dad took us to get a take out pizza. We are driving home. I am in the back seat holding the pizza.  
Dad: How many slices is it? (\<-engineer calculating how many pieces we each get)  
Me: (opens lid, see rectangular pizza. counts 3 slices on one side, and 5 the long way) 15!  
Dad: (thinks for a minute) You must have counted wrong, count again  
Me: (3 one way, 5 the other) 15!  
Dad: It can’t be, count them again  
Me: (1234567891011121314) 15!  
Dad: Can 't be, there is no way to cut a circle into 15 pieces  
Me: Dad, it’s a rectangle  
Dad: :smack:

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**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/6 "2010-04-06T04:20:42Z")

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Cutting into 12 slices is not a “natural” way to cut a pizza.

Cut 2-4-8, each cut splits the previous in half. Cutting into 12 requires a careful lining up and estimating where to cut.

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**Author:** ![statsman1982](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e79b87/32.png) [@statsman1982](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/statsman1982)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/7 "2010-04-06T04:31:57Z")

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This reminds me of my big problem with American cheese…

Here’s hoping that this pitting fares better.

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**Author:** ![The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8797f3/32.png) [@The\_Universe\_Lashes\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Universe_Lashes_Out)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/8 "2010-04-06T04:32:40Z")

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Twelve slices is easy, you make two cuts in the shape of a plus sign, then you make two more cuts on each quadrant. As long as you have the plus sign to guide the rest of your cuts, you won’t be too far off. Now ten slices is more difficult, and that may be what the OP has experienced with Papa John’s. Papa John’s does not cut any pizza into 12 slices, but their extra large is cut into 10.

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**Author:** ![Patch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a183cd/32.png) [@Patch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patch)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/9 "2010-04-06T04:57:35Z")

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Been eating pizza for decades. Small and medium pies are typically cut into 8ths, large and X-large pies are 12. Been pretty standard.

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**Author:** ![Captain\_Amazing](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/6de8d8/32.png) [@Captain\_Amazing](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Captain_Amazing)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/10 "2010-04-06T05:00:39Z")

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Isn’t this complaint a little bit like Spinal Tap’s speaker’s dial goes up to 11?

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**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/11 "2010-04-06T05:16:57Z")

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“Yogi, you want your pizza cut in four slices or in eight?”  
“Four. I don’t think I can eat eight.”

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**Author:** ![BrightNShiny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@BrightNShiny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrightNShiny)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/12 "2010-04-06T05:19:04Z")

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Since when does Papa John’s count as pizza?

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**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/13 "2010-04-06T05:21:22Z")

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So are you worried you won’t be hungry enough to eat the extra 4 pieces?

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**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/14 "2010-04-06T05:25:05Z")

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Twelve does have a certain logic. You can divide the slices evenly among two, three, four, or six people. With eight slices, you can only evenly divide it among two or four people.

But theoretical logic is trumped by practical utility. 1/6 or 1/8 are good sizes for a slice. A 1/12 slice is too narrow to be handled properly.

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**Author:** ![Apex\_Rogers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@Apex\_Rogers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apex_Rogers)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/15 "2010-04-06T05:38:32Z")

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> [@Captain\_Amazing](#):
>
> Isn’t this complaint a little bit like Spinal Tap’s speaker’s dial goes up to 11?

Yeah, except OP’s pizza only goes up to 8. Mine goes up to 12. 🆒

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**Author:** ![Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eyebrows_0f_doom/32/3119_2.png) [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eyebrows_0f_Doom)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/16 "2010-04-06T05:39:49Z")

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> [@Rick](#):
>
> Dad: Can 't be, there is no way to cut a circle into 15 pieces

You can cut a circle into however many pieces you’d like.

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**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 6:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/17 "2010-04-06T06:53:17Z")

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> [@Eyebrows\_0f\_Doom](#):
>
> You can cut a circle into however many pieces you’d like.

Yeah. 15’s not even that hard. Now 13 is a real bitch.

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**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/18 "2010-04-06T07:24:04Z")

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Someone needs to start selling pizzas cut into [17 slices](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heptadecagon).

(Okay, not really, I just thought this was pretty cool when I first found out about it.)

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**Author:** ![Grumman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/43a26b/32.png) [@Grumman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grumman)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 7:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/19 "2010-04-06T07:29:54Z")

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Forum said previous attempt didn’t post.

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**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\
**Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/20 "2010-04-06T07:36:27Z")

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> [@Malienation](#):
>
> Eight slices is the proper number, with six being acceptable for small pies.

Pies shouldn’t be sliced at all, though- just eaten “as-is” with some tomato or barbeque sauce on them.

Pizza, on the other hand- yeah, I agree. Eight slices is the optimum number, and “personal” pizzas are an affront to all right thinking people.

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