# Hey! Eight slices to a fucking pizza, please! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 6, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111 "2010-04-06T03:56:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/41 "2010-04-06T20:28:15Z")
I only want eight slices. I couldn’t possibly eat twelve. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/42 "2010-04-06T20:40:32Z")
Really, you can pretty easily cut up a pizza into as my slices as you want. Just subtract one, and make that many cuts. Parallel, of course. You can accomplish the same thing with a cold cut slicing machine. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/43 "2010-04-06T21:16:50Z")
They cut our circular pizza into rectangles last time. Some small pieces were almost all crust and two large gooey pieces from the center had no crust. The pizza sauce and topping were good. The crust was like a half softened lasagna noodle. I was very gross. I should have expected a gross pizza, as any circular pizza I’ve ever gotten that was cut into squares was terrible. They just don’t care, and have no idea how to make pizza. Why can’t my town get any decent restaurants? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/44 "2010-04-06T21:21:47Z")
> [@friedo](#): > > Something here doesn’t add up. [Ron White] All right, I’m listenin [/RW] ---
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/45 "2010-04-06T21:45:51Z")
Because if a pizza has 12 slices, they can charge you _more_ than when it had 8 slices. Duh. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/46 "2010-04-06T22:15:42Z")
If you’re getting anything other eight or _maybe_ twelve slices, you gotta find a new pizza source. The real test is whether or not the slices are foldable: if not, forget it. Also, the slicing should happen fresh out of the oven while the pizza is still hot enough that the cheese starts to melt back together by the time you get it home and eat it, so that you need to re-cut it just a little bit with a knife. This is important because it provides you with the opportunity to “accidentally” end up with some of the neighboring slice’s cheese on yours. Aaaand now I miss the local pizza shop a block from my parent’s house so much. ---
**Author:** ![Martini\_Enfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/martini_enfield/32/11123_2.png) [@Martini\_Enfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Martini_Enfield)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/47 "2010-04-06T23:32:48Z")
> [@BMalion](#): > > I don’t know, 8 or 10 of them and you’ve got a nice snack. If you can afford them, and if you’re not worried about your chauffeur-driven Bentley smelling of Pizza when you have to go to the Opera later that evening, maybe. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/48 "2010-04-07T00:03:42Z")
When I worked at Pizza Hut I frequently was the one to cut the pizzas. Large = 12 slices, and it wasn’t hard to do. Of course, we had those giant pizza cutters that you just slam down on the pizza and rock to the side to cut all the way across. I prefer thin pizza slices, so I like the 12 cut better than the 8 cut. ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/49 "2010-04-07T00:18:03Z")
My hometown has an idiosyncratic pizza joint that cuts round pies in a grid pattern. It’s wild. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/50 "2010-04-07T01:13:51Z")
If you really want, we can go at it with cookie cutters so that you can have Santa and Pine Tree shaped pieces followed by leftover squiggle pieces. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/51 "2010-04-07T01:20:07Z")
> [@LurkMeister](#): > > Occasionally the cuts haven’t been perfectly even, but that’s never bothered me… Anyone else PREFER unevenly cut slices? How else can you pick a smaller or larger slice to match your appetite? ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/52 "2010-04-07T07:24:57Z")
It’s not that hard to cut a pizza into 12. Make the first two cuts in a + sign then cut those slices into thirds. It’s especially easy with the 24" rocker knife (I called it the pizza-bat’leH when I worked at Pizza Hut) > [@orcenio](#): > > Lumper. If it isn’t in 160 slices I AINT EATING IT!\* > > \*I like to mix the pizza up in a bowl and eat it like spaghetti. YOU!! You were my nemesis. I remember having to chop up a pizza into little slices for a certain customer. A large pizza went out in a small takeout box because it was basically shredded. ---
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/53 "2010-04-07T17:51:45Z")
> [@](#): > > Anyone else PREFER unevenly cut slices? How else can you pick a smaller or larger slice to match your appetite? This is what I was going to say. The people eating the pizza are not all going to be the same, so the slices should not be the same size. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/54 "2010-04-07T19:07:51Z")
Squares is the only reasonable way to cut a pizza. MUCH more manageable to eat with your hands. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/55 "2010-04-07T19:28:09Z")
> [@EvilTOJ](#): > > It’s not that hard to cut a pizza into 12. Make the first two cuts in a + sign then cut those slices into thirds. It’s especially easy with the 24" rocker knife (I called it the pizza-bat’leH when I worked at Pizza Hut) I love that kind of knive (it’s what I was referring to in my post). I wish I had one for home. > [@Sarahfeena](#): > > Squares is the only reasonable way to cut a pizza. MUCH more manageable to eat with your hands. Buh…what? What drugs are YOU on? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/56 "2010-04-07T23:18:33Z")
> [@digs](#): > > Anyone else PREFER unevenly cut slices? How else can you pick a smaller or larger slice to match your appetite? How to maintain the same small-to-large ratio no matter how times you cut the pizza: [Golden angle - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Golden_angle) ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/57 "2010-04-08T00:27:53Z")
…and stop calling them pies! ---
**Author:** ![Sister\_Vigilante](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9de0a6/32.png) [@Sister\_Vigilante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sister_Vigilante)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/58 "2010-04-08T01:14:18Z")
My favorite pizza place cuts a round pizza into square slices. It’s the best pizza ever. But damnit, I want CRUST ON EVERY SLICE. I hate the middle pieces. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2010, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/59 "2010-04-08T01:24:35Z")
Have you tried requesting they cut it differently? ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111/60 "2010-04-14T06:45:55Z")
It’s 2010! We should be cutting our pizza with lasers and the slices will be perfect every time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-eight-slices-to-a-fucking-pizza-please/535111.md?page=4)