# Hey hauss, suck it up, chickenshit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 14, 2004, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802 "2004-12-14T16:35:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/141 "2004-12-15T00:40:06Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > I know the biology is different. So did any woman who chose to spread her legs. If we can apply ‘don’t want a kid, don’t fuck’ to men, we might as well apply it to women too. The difference in this _specific_ case is that, as far as we have been told, the woman in question is taking responsibility for the consequences of having sex. She is keeping the baby. We could argue that in some mythical perfect world people of both genders should have the exact same rights. The fact is, we ain’t there yet and won’t be for some time. But all of this is academic. The fact is that a new life is on the way and the father has both legal and moral responsibilities to help care for it. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/142 "2004-12-15T00:41:09Z")
> [@Abbie Carmichael](#): > > I’m with **catsix** on this. > > Yeah, **hauss** is a pussy. All men who abandon their children are. The world would be better off if he got a vasectomy. > > So morally yeah, he sucks. Legally, though, we’ve got a double standard. Men become parents when they have sex, but women don’t become parents until they have the baby? Men should “take responsibility” for their actions, but women get a way out? It’s okay for a mother to kill her baby just because she doesn’t want it, but it’s not okay for a man to refuse responsibility? > > When a woman gets knocked up, she can do whatever she wants. If she decides to keep the kid, the father’s going to get hit with 18 years of child support. If she decides to kill it, tough shit for him. If she gives it up, too bad. The guy will do well to even know about the adoption. > > Why should only women get to shirk responsibility with no concern for others? Equality means everyone gets to act cold and callous, not just one gender. Geting an abortion IS taking responsibility. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/143 "2004-12-15T00:43:31Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > By conciously making the decision to incubate the fetus for nine months, she is taking an infinitely larger role in the creation of the child. The mans role only requires a matter of minutes, perhaps even less. > > _She_ has the power. And with great power should come great responsibility. What an inane pile of shit. It only takes a second to shoot somebody. What the fuck does a duration of time have to do with accountability for a decision? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/144 "2004-12-15T00:45:37Z")
> [@treis](#): > > I wonder what would happen if a father dropped off a baby at one of these places unbeknownest to the mother. I get the feeling we would see a pit thread or two about that. If the father gives a shit, he will claim custody before the kid is born. BTW, I don’t think there’s any legal requirement that the dropper-offer has to be a woman. It’s just a law designed to prevent people from dropping babies into dumpsters. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/145 "2004-12-15T00:46:58Z")
> [@catsix](#): > > Who said he shouldn’t use birth control? By saying a man has no responsibility to take care of his own children. you’re saying he has no obligation to use birth control. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/146 "2004-12-15T00:48:18Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > To elaborate on that, say my friend plants an acorn near my house. If I let it grow into a tree, and the tree falls on my house causing damage, should my friend have to pay half the bill? Bullshit analogy. ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/147 "2004-12-15T00:48:38Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > There’s a difference between planting a seed and letting the sprout grow once you realize it’s germinated. To elaborate on that, say my friend plants an acorn near my house. If I let it grow into a tree, and the tree falls on my house causing damage, should my friend have to pay half the bill? The man took that risk once he helped you plant it. And it’s a poor metaphor anyway. The best point made in this debate is that we can’t just let a man walk away from his child just because he feels like it. It’s not in his best interest or the interest of the mother or the child. And ultimately given how much a healthy relationship with his offspring contributes to a man’s wellbeing it’s not good for him either. ---
**Author:** ![Milkman\_Dan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3da27b/32.png) [@Milkman\_Dan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milkman_Dan)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/148 "2004-12-15T00:49:11Z")
> [@Blalron](#): > > By conciously making the decision to incubate the fetus for nine months, she is taking an infinitely larger role in the creation of the child. The mans role only requires a matter of minutes, perhaps even less. > > _She_ has the power. And with great power should come great responsibility. This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read, for the same reasons Diogenes stated above. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/149 "2004-12-15T00:51:27Z")
Abortion isn’t taking responsibility. Its weasling out of your responsibility by killing your child. Diogenes you are missing the point. Women can give their child up for adoption without the consent of the father. Men cannot put their child up for adoption without the consent of the Mother. That is inherently unfair. ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/150 "2004-12-15T00:52:20Z")
> [@Milkman Dan](#): > > This is the stupidest thing I’ve ever read, for the same reasons Diogenes stated above. Also, if your role (as a man) in the creation of a child is only taking minutes, you are doing it wrong. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/151 "2004-12-15T00:55:50Z")
> [@lavenderlemon](#): > > The best point made in this debate is that we can’t just let a man walk away from his child just because he feels like it. It’s not in his best interest or the interest of the mother or the child. Then why do we let women? ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/152 "2004-12-15T01:03:24Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Women can give their child up for adoption without the consent of the father. Men cannot put their child up for adoption without the consent of the Mother. That is inherently unfair. Along with a lot of other things in life (ahem, especially in my life right now, for example). Adults learn to accept that not everything in life is 100% fair. When the situation is by the law of nature lopsided, you play by those rules instead. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/153 "2004-12-15T01:11:07Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Then why do we let women? We don’t. ---
**Author:** ![treis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@treis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/treis)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/154 "2004-12-15T01:11:33Z")
Bullshit if laws are unfair change the damn laws. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/155 "2004-12-15T01:15:57Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Abortion isn’t taking responsibility. Its weasling out of your responsibility by killing your child. No, it’s taking responsibility and terminating a pregnancy before it _results_ in a child. Screaming “murder” is just childish, and not true and utterly unhelpful. > [@](#): > > Diogenes you are missing the point. Women can give their child up for adoption without the consent of the father. Only if the father makes no attempt to claim custody. If he wants it he can have it. > [@](#): > > Men cannot put their child up for adoption without the consent of the Mother. That is inherently unfair. I don’t believe this would be true in the unlikely event that a father somehow ended up with possession of a child that no mother was making any claim on. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/156 "2004-12-15T01:17:47Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Bullshit if laws are unfair change the damn laws. You have yet to identify an unfair law. ---
**Author:** ![MaddyStrut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/dbc845/32.png) [@MaddyStrut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MaddyStrut)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/157 "2004-12-15T01:17:57Z")
I agree with those who have said it sucks for men that, once a pregnancy occurs, a woman can decide whether or not to continue with it and become a parent while men can’t. Sorry, but biology just sucks sometimes. What can you do? If I had been born a man, I’d probably be taller and stronger. I can curse about that to mother nature and whatever gods may be, but it won’t do any good. If there were a way for a man to terminate his parental rights and responsibilities _without harming the child_, I may be for it. I just can’t think of any way that could happen. Once a child is born he or she has rights, and that includes the right to support from the parents. If a man doesn’t pay child support, the child suffers. I’m not willing to let the child suffer to try and make things more equal for men. For the moment, I’m willing to cut **hauss** some slack (for the moment). His ex girlfriend is 24 weeks along, so he’s probably only known about this for maybe 16 weeks or so. I don’t know when his ex decided against adoption, but it may have been recently. It’s very possible there just hasn’t been enough time for everything to sink in and for him to form any feelings about the baby (especially if he and his ex aren’t close any longer). Also, they could both still be in the throes of all the emotions and fighting of a recent breakup. So he may just be going through the initial panic reaction of “oh my god, this sucks, my life is ruined–is there any way out of it?” It remains to be seen whether he’ll adjust to the situation and own up to his responsibilities. So I’m not going to call him a scum bag just yet (though I reserve the right to do so in the future). ---
**Author:** ![LavenderBlue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e95f7d/32.png) [@LavenderBlue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LavenderBlue)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/158 "2004-12-15T01:19:55Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Abortion isn’t taking responsibility. Its weasling out of your responsibility by killing your child. No it isn’t. It’s actually being responsible by recognizing that a pregnancy may not be a good thing for you or a potential child right now. It’s certainly far more responsible than having a child when you don’t have the resources to properly provide for it. > [@](#): > > Diogenes you are missing the point. Women can give their child up for adoption without the consent of the father. Men cannot put their child up for adoption without the consent of the Mother. That is inherently unfair. Where do you live that a mother can give up a child for adoption without a father’s consent? ---
**Author:** ![Abbie\_Carmichael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@Abbie\_Carmichael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abbie_Carmichael)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/159 "2004-12-15T01:22:36Z")
If abortion is “taking responsibility” then so is strangling the baby with the umbilical cord and throwing it in the dumpster. ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2004, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802/160 "2004-12-15T01:23:05Z")
> [@treis](#): > > Bullshit if laws are unfair change the damn laws. OK, let’s start with the law of gravity. Unfair! Let’s change it. Makes about as much sense as trying to change the situation under discussion. Men’s and women’s part in making babies CANNOT be made 100% equal. Deal. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-hauss-suck-it-up-chickenshit/279802.md?page=9)