# Hey Joe, wanna give it a go? Songs about whores **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [January 1, 2004, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134 "2004-01-01T17:02:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Apos](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/838e76/32.png) [@Apos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apos)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2004, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/61 "2004-01-03T06:50:12Z")
If you’re interested in whores, you owe it to yourself to track down Jacques Brel’s extremely disturbing song “Next” as performed by the already extremely weird Scott Walker. You’ll doubtless never hear a line quite like “I swear on the wet head of my first case of gonorrhea” on the radio anytime soon, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so depressed and horrified after hearing a song before or since this one. The lyrics (it goes to a strange flamenco beat): Naked as sin, an army towel Covering my belly Some of us blush, somehow Knees turning to jelly “Next!” “Next!” I was still just a kid There were a hundred like me I followed a naked body A naked body follwed me “Next!” “Next!” I was still just a kid When my innocence was lost In a mobile army whorehouse Gift of the army, free of cost “Next!” “You’re Next!” Me, I really would have liked A little touch of tenderness Maybe a word, a smile An hour of happiness But no no, “Next!” “Next!” Oh, it wasn’t so tragic The high heavens didn’t fall But how much of that time I hated being there at all “Next!” “Next!” Now I always will recall The brothel truck, the flying flags The queer lieutenant who slapped Our asses as if we were fags “Next!” “You’re Next!” I swear on the wet head Of my first case of gonorrhea It’s his ugly voice That I forever hear “Next!” “Next!” That voice that stinks of corpses Of whiskey and of mud It is the voice of nations It is the thick voice of blood “Next!” “Next!” And since the each woman I’ve taken to bed Seems to laugh in my arms To whisper through my head “Next!” “Next!” All the naked and the dead Should hold each other’s hands As they watch me scream at night In a dream no one can understand “Next!” “Next!” And when I am not screaming In a voice grown dry and hollow I stand on endless naked lines Of the following and the followed “Next!” “Next!” One day I’ll cut my legs off And burn myself alive Anything, I’ll do anything To get out of line just to survive And never to be next Not ever to be next. ---
**Author:** ![Patr100](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@Patr100](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Patr100)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2004, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/62 "2004-01-03T12:51:28Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Apos \* \*\*If you’re interested in whores, you owe it to yourself to track down Jacques Brel’s extremely disturbing song “Next” as performed by the already extremely weird Scott Walker. You’ll doubtless never hear a line quite like “I swear on the wet head of my first case of gonorrhea” on the radio anytime soon, and I don’t think I’ve ever been so depressed and horrified after hearing a song before or since this one. The late Alex Harvey (Sensational Alex Harvey Band) did a verision as well in the 70s ] ---
**Author:** ![Gail](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Gail](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gail)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2004, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/63 "2004-01-03T15:19:08Z")
“Black Betty” by Ram Jam…The lyrics aren’t very deep, but it’s clear that Betty is concerned about what her daughter does for a living. ---
**Author:** ![the\_O-man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9f8e36/32.png) [@the\_O-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_O-man)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2004, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/64 "2004-01-03T16:34:56Z")
Speaking of musicals, how about “I Don’t Know How to Love Him” from **Jesus Christ Superstar**. Mary Magdalene sings about how there have been so many other men. ---
**Author:** ![Labdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Labdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labdad)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2004, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/65 "2004-01-03T16:40:20Z")
“Rene” by the Small Faces off _Ogden’s Nut Gone Flake_: “There she is parading on the quayside You can find her every night Waiting for a stevedore from Tyneside Why, it Rene, the dockers’ delight … It’s Rene the dockers’ delight and she’s a gypsy every night gropin’ with a stoker from the coast of Kuala Lumpar…” ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [January 3, 2004, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/66 "2004-01-03T19:12:16Z")
Just remembered two old Elsa Lanchester songs. **Faith, Hope and Charity** , about three sisters: “Faith was a good girl, got herself religion, Hope started out to roam. But Charity was contented because Charity begins at home . . .” And the Sadie Thompson-esque **Fiji Fanny** : “Fiji Fanny, in her little cranny, Underneath her frangipanni tree; Her gyration was the chief temptation Of the population from Bombay to Wakiki. For her hula, when the nights were cooler, Never failed to raise the mercury . . .” ---
**Author:** ![Adjustable\_Beavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Adjustable\_Beavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Adjustable_Beavis)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 1:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/67 "2004-01-04T13:17:48Z")
La Grange by ZZ Top is about a brothel… Rumour spreadin’ a-'round in that Texas town ‘bout that shack outside La Grange and you know what I’m talkin’ about. Just let me know if you wanna go to that home out on the range. They gotta lotta nice girls. Have mercy. A haw, haw, haw, haw, a haw. A haw, haw, haw. Well, I hear it’s fine if you got the time and the ten to get yourself in. A hmm, hmm. And I hear it’s tight most ev’ry night, but now I might be mistaken. hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Have mercy. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/68 "2004-01-04T14:57:08Z")
_Trick of the Light_ by The Who. John Entwhistle singing about how impressed the girl must be to have a real, live rock star as a customer, only to realize that she really couldn’t give a shit. ---
**Author:** ![quiltguy154](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/ad7895/32.png) [@quiltguy154](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quiltguy154)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/69 "2004-01-04T16:08:24Z")
Is Kenny Rogers’ song "Ruby[Don’t Take Your Love to Town] about a prostitute? How about “Hey Big Spender?” ---
**Author:** ![Avalonian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ee7513/32.png) [@Avalonian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avalonian)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2004, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/70 "2004-01-04T18:59:39Z")
I’m surprised that nobody’s yet mentioned Sting’s song “Tomorrow We’ll See”: > [@](#): > > I’m walking the streets for money > It’s the business of love, ‘hey honey’ > C’mon, don’t leave me lonely, don’t leave me sad > It’ll be the sweetest five minutes you ever had Nothing ambiguous about that one… ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 2:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/71 "2004-01-05T02:41:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by quiltguy154 \* > \*\*Is Kenny Rogers’ song "Ruby[Don’t Take Your Love to Town] about a prostitute? \*\* No. Ruby’s husband is impotent as a result of war injuries, so she has one or more lovers on the side. > [@](#): > > \*\*How about “Hey Big Spender?” \*\* Yes. This one is from **Sweet Charity** , the quintessential hooker-with-a-heart-of-gold. Also: Most of the songs from **Best Little Whorehouse in Texas** , including the mega-hit “I Will Always Love You.” Dolly Parton composed it for the movie specifically, even if the lyrics don’t refer to prostitution at all. ---
**Author:** ![Reepicheep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@Reepicheep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reepicheep)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/72 "2004-01-05T03:25:01Z")
It is implied, but never said outright, in _Patricia the Stripper_ by Chris De Burgh, that Patricia/Delicia’s favors can be purchased. \*I’m going out to dinner, with a gorgeous singer, To a little place I’ve found down by the quay; Her name is Patricia, she calls herself Delicia, And the reason isn’t very hard to see… She says God made her a sinner just to keep fat men thinner, As they tumble down in heaps before her feet. They hang around in groups like battle-weary troops, One can often see them queue right down the street… You see Patricia, or Delicia, not only is a singer She also removes all her clothing… For Patricia is the best stripper in town,…\* ---
**Author:** ![PigArcher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bcef8e/32.png) [@PigArcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PigArcher)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/73 "2004-01-05T03:53:34Z")
My interpretation of _Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers’_ **Mary Jane’s Last Dance** is that MJ is a prostitute, but she could just be a party girl. > [@](#): > > Well she moved down here at the age of 18 > She blew the boys away, it was more than they’d seen > I was introduced and we both started groovin’ > She said, “I dig you baby but I got to keep movin’ > …on, keep movin’ on” > > Last dance with Mary Jane > One more time to kill the pain > > … > > Honey put on that party dress > Buy me a drink, sing me a song, > Take me as I come 'cause I can’t stay long > > … > > There’s pidgeons down in Market Square > She’s standin’ in her underwear > Lookin’ down from a hotel room > Nightfall will be comin’ soon > Oh my my, oh hell yes > You’ve got to put on that party dress > It was too cold to cry when I woke up alone > I hit the last number, I walked to the road _Van Halen’s_ **Girl Gone Bad** is pretty explicitly about a prostitute. > [@](#): > > Ah, lazy eyes in the summer heat > Fresh from out of town > Now she’s working on the street > Shake them poor boys down > > … > > Found that girl with a lonesome john > When she should have been with me > Guess that woman fall in love > She don’t work for free ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/74 "2004-01-05T04:51:21Z")
Max Castle beat me to the reference of _Last Dance for Mary Jane_. The Eagles’ _Lyin’ Eyes_ is also about a “kept woman”. _Hey Big Spender_ and _Love for Sale_ are two classics. And there was a song _Hands_ about a girl working in a massage parlor. It was written as a country & western parody, but it actually ended up briefly appearing in the top 40 chart. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/75 "2004-01-05T04:53:15Z")
One more I just remembered: _One in a Million Girl_ by the Tubes. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/76 "2004-01-05T12:26:55Z")
“Family Man” - Hall & Oates The guy is trying to decide whether or not to pick up a prostitute. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 1:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/77 "2004-01-05T13:20:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Little Nemo \* > \*\*One more I just remembered: _One in a Million Girl_ by the Tubes. \*\* If you mean “She’s A Beauty”, it’s about a peepshow, not prostitution. ---
**Author:** ![LateComer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/b5ac83/32.png) [@LateComer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LateComer)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2004, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134/78 "2004-01-05T14:29:58Z")
“What do you do for Money, Honey” AC/DC [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-joe-wanna-give-it-a-go-songs-about-whores/222134.md?page=3)