# Hey, Kathleen Parker? I got yer fuckin' God right here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 2, 2001, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935 "2001-10-02T07:15:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![SaxFace](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/13edae/32.png) [@SaxFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaxFace)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/41 "2001-10-03T20:37:43Z")
MEB, great job, thanks. I’ve been choking on godstuff since Sept. 11th and really needed to read your rant. It’s much appreciated. ---
**Author:** ![pricciar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f4b2a3/32.png) [@pricciar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pricciar)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/42 "2001-10-03T21:02:26Z")
**Choking On Godstuff** Coming soon from a fine pornographer near you. God: You’ll love _my_ stuff! pat ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2001, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/43 "2001-10-03T21:48:47Z")
Preach it, brother! ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/44 "2001-10-04T00:08:45Z")
**Necros:** Not a problem. Trust me when I say us Pagans would MUCH rather be overlooked by decent, average Christians (which most of you guys are) than noticed by nutballs like Parker. [sub]or blamed for the whole damn thing, like Falwell tried to do…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![croaker67](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/439d5e/32.png) [@croaker67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/croaker67)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/45 "2001-10-04T03:43:52Z")
Ladies and gentlmen we are in the presence of greatness. Great work MEBuckner!! Gonna be difficult to top that one. I’m still laughing at the references:D 😃😃 ---
**Author:** ![Nietzsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8dc957/32.png) [@Nietzsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nietzsche)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/46 "2001-10-04T04:49:42Z")
::: joins standing ovation already in progress::: Masterful work of art MEB! I wish Miss Parker would see the above rant. ---
**Author:** ![rsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsa)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 5:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/47 "2001-10-04T05:53:10Z")
It’s funny, but I read this a couple of days ago and got even more depressed than usual. I actually was going to write a letter to the editor. I was suprised that USA Today would print anything that biased. I was going to cancel my Dallas Morning News subscription and get USA Today. Now I’m not so sure. **MEBuckner** , why don’t you write a letter to USA Today. You have a much better talent for writing that I – plus you’re probably more sober than me 😉 I’d be happy to provide research assistance if you’d like (e.g., no atheists in foxholes, etc.). ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/48 "2001-10-04T06:11:43Z")
> [@](#): > > **MEBuckner** , why don’t you write a letter to USA Today Oh, I already wrote 'em a letter. Like I said in the O.P., I needed to vent first, as otherwise I’d have probably wound up writing them a letter to the editor that they’d have turned over to the FBI. I’m also pretty sure that they are going to be receiving a _lot_ of letters about that column–several national organizations of godless heathens have picked up on that one. Exactly what if anything will be printed, I don’t know. But they’re getting letters, count on it. ---
**Author:** ![black\_rabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f19dbf/32.png) [@black\_rabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/black_rabbit)\ **Post date:** [October 4, 2001, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/49 "2001-10-04T06:25:00Z")
I’m gonna steal the OP. Well, no I’m not, but I’m sure as hell gonna save it for all my dumbass relatives who’ve been sending me dumbass fundie glurge for the past few weeks… ---
**Author:** ![domina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/96bed5/32.png) [@domina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/domina)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/50 "2001-10-05T01:00:49Z")
> [@](#): > > “I figured it out, and it’s really very succinct,” she said. “I believe in God and I believe in my country.” > > From the beginning of American time, the two have been entwined and inseparable. You know, this reminds me that just the other day, somebody in my office handed out little flags to everybody. The bar-code sticker was still on mine. So I displayed it as it was, remarking to my neighbor, “Ah perfect! An American flag with its Mark of the Beast right on it!” My neighbor didn’t get it. But now I can enjoy thinking how it would give Kathleen Burton conniption fits. ---
**Author:** ![domina](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/96bed5/32.png) [@domina](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/domina)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/51 "2001-10-05T01:02:39Z")
Whoops! I meant Kathleen **Parker** , of course. Where the heck did that come from? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/52 "2001-10-05T01:22:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nietzsche \* > \*\*I wish Miss Parker would see the above rant. \*\* And I was sitting here thinking, “Kathleen, or Dorothy?” ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/53 "2001-10-05T14:12:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dropzone \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > There are no atheists in foxholes, we’ve always known. There were none in the World Trade Center on Sept. 11, we can guess. > > Actually, I’m not so sure. People were busy trying to get out of the building, but the end came so suddenly and absolutely that there was little time for last-moment conversions. One thing that cockpit recorders show is that the last words of pilots, a group that can die suddenly while very busy, tend more to “Oh, shit!” than prayer. \*\* Sorry to get this in late, but just for the record, there is an [Atheists in Foxholes Monument](http://www.mindspring.com/~wjager/atheists-in-foxholes.html) near, of all places, Talladega, Alabama. This page tells its rather interesting story. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/54 "2001-10-05T19:51:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Nietzsche \* > **I wish Miss Parker would see the above rant.** She’d probably just focus on the “naughty” words and ignore the substance of what he wrote. The word “fuck” alone would probably make her faint. ---
**Author:** ![Nietzsche](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8dc957/32.png) [@Nietzsche](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nietzsche)\ **Post date:** [October 5, 2001, 10:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/55 "2001-10-05T22:17:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \*\*\* > And I was sitting here thinking, “Kathleen, or Dorothy?” \*\* The poet? If that’s whom you meant, something tells me she would be loudly applauding MEB’s rant as well. 🙂 > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jab1 \*\*\* > She’d probably just focus on the “naughty” words and ignore the substance of what he wrote. The word “fuck” alone would probably make her faint. \*\* We’ll make sure to have plenty of smelling salts handy. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 2:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/56 "2001-10-06T02:33:28Z")
MEBuckner, I’d be interested in seeing the letter you actually sent, if you would be willing to post it. ---
**Author:** ![mswas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e99b99/32.png) [@mswas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mswas)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/57 "2001-10-06T03:16:16Z")
That post almost rated a snarf all over the computer screen. Especially the part with “Hello, my name is Timmy, and I’ve been in a Persistent Vegetative State ever since I was born and I live on Mars and I don’t have any mother or father, just wolves,” Erek ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 5:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/58 "2001-10-06T05:14:15Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d be interested in seeing the letter you actually sent, if you would be willing to post it. > [@](#): > > Dear Editor: > > Kathleen Parker to the contrary, there are atheists in foxholes and there were atheists in the World Trade Center. Given that over 6,000 of our fellow Americans and guests in our country were murdered on September 11, it is a mathematical certainty that hundreds of atheists died alongside their fellow human beings who happened to be Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, New Agers, and adherents of every other religious belief which flourishes in a great free city like New York. > > Atheists are not “renegades from our traditional heritage”. I personally know atheists who are special agents with the FBI, Air Force non-commissioned officers on active duty overseas, and Vietnam War veterans. Are those atheists unpatriotic, un-American “renegades”? > > It’s unfortunate that, at a time when our President has rightly called on all Americans to unite and reject attempts at division based on our religious beliefs, Ms. Parker must spread such bigotry about her fellow citizens. > > Sincerely, > > Michael E. Buckner See, I didn’t refer to goat felching a single time. Aren’t y’all proud? ---
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/59 "2001-10-06T19:03:59Z")
**MEB** Outstanding! 9.8 on my scale! (Never mind **DDG** ; she’s too prone to judge a rant by its profanity. ;)) I would just like to add one comment, from a Christian perspective: Too damned many (and “damned” is the precise word choice here, not profanity) excuses for humanity have used the recent tragic events to promote their own religious/political power plays. Ms. Parker seems to be the latest to climb on the bandwagon. The greatest fear I have is that someday some of these bizarro demagogues will somehow _succeed_ in making us a “Christian nation” by _their_ standards – and thus take away the freedom of religion which we enjoy from all people – including those of us who believe in what Jesus of Nazareth had to say. **Libertarian** called them “religion politicians.” Don’t mistake them for believers, except in themselves. :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Tanaqui](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3bc359/32.png) [@Tanaqui](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tanaqui)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/60 "2001-10-06T19:26:44Z")
Wow. I just read your post and I have to say - I bow to your greatness. That rant outrated mine by **soo much!** _claps_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935.md?page=4)