# Hey, Kathleen Parker? I got yer fuckin' God right here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 2, 2001, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935 "2001-10-02T07:15:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![rsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsa)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/61 "2001-10-06T20:18:52Z")
So far, the only responses I have seen in USA Today were two letters to the editor in the Thursday edition. One short letter supporting that bitch, and one even shorter letter (about three or four sentences) taking her to task. I found that dishertening since I know that many, many letters have been sent to USA Today. But maybe there is a silver lining. Apparently atheists ARE speaking out now. Outraged atheists have absolutly taken over the Kathleen Parker “Chat Room” (actually message board). Tons of posts from Marines, other military atheists, mothers of atheists, a widow of an atheist. Lots of letters people have sent to USA Today as well. Check it out here and add your voice if you’d like: [http://www.kparker.com/chat/chatframeset.html](http://www.kparker.com/chat/chatframeset.html) ---
**Author:** ![rsa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/839c29/32.png) [@rsa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rsa)\ **Post date:** [October 6, 2001, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/62 "2001-10-06T22:47:09Z")
[Here](http://www.usatoday.com/usatonline/20011004/3508155s.htm) are the USA Today letters to the editor about the Kathleen Parker piece. > [@](#): > > \*\*‘Silent majority’ must awaken, stress values \*\* > > In response to the article by Kathleen Parker: I hope atheists throughout this country will continue to stay silent (’‘God, country gain fragile new toehold,’’ The Forum, Monday). > > To allow a tiny percentage of our population to control and decide matters of God and country is wrong. > > The silent majority in this land needs to wake up and take the time to pass on to our children the core religious and patriotic values on which our country was founded. > > The immense patriotic reaction to the events of Sept. 11 must have opened eyes within some organizations whose sole purpose has been to gradually and silently chip away at the values we have taken for granted for far too long. > > If this tragedy returns us to our core values, which are even more important today, then maybe there was some good resulting from these terrible events. > > The price of freedom has been paid by many generations of men and women throughout our country’s glorious and God-fearing history. It would be a shame if we continued to allow a vocal minority to control and decide matters of church and state. > > Bill Anderson > > Louisville, Ohio > [@](#): > > **Enough of bashing atheists** > > While religion may offer solace and strength in times of tragedy, it is not a requirement for patriotism or morality. > > As an atheist, my devotion to this great country comes from the fact that it shows respect and tolerance for all people, regardless of their personal beliefs. I hope that as we wage our war on terrorism we will keep this in mind. > > Clint Peterson > > Wauwatosa, Wis. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/63 "2001-10-07T02:31:25Z")
Well, I’m pretty sure that _USA Today_ got more than two letters on the subject, and they sure as hell got more than one letter disagreeing with the column. ---
**Author:** ![jmonster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dbc845/32.png) [@jmonster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmonster)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 7:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/64 "2001-10-07T07:37:30Z")
Fantastic. **9.8** > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* > > > [@](#): > > > > …you get marked down for the redundant references to martian wolves. > > Well, I was trying for sort of a theme, y’know? Unfortunately, the role in the rant that the maritan wolves play (one might call it the zany hyperbole, or the creative absurdity, or possibly the **jarbaby** isms), does not lend itself well to thematic linking. A rant is certainly improved by having various themes, but the humorous departations from the realm of normality are primarily judged on creativity and novelty, so you’ll lose points if there’s too much of a theme there. ---
**Author:** ![InternetLegend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/internetlegend/32/13154_2.png) [@InternetLegend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/InternetLegend)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2001, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/65 "2001-10-07T07:52:55Z")
> [@](#): > > _From the article:_ > As the audience sang The Battle Hymn of the Republic — joined by yours truly back home in the family room (confess: you did it, too) — it occurred to me that my son doesn’t even know the words. So this self-righteous woman knows what’s best for MY children, but she hasn’t been taking HERS to church? That’s what most of us who want our kids to have a working knowledge of our religions do. Maybe she should take a refresher course in Christianity before she starts preaching to what she thinks is the choir. Beautiful rant, **MEB** , and you did a great job of distilling it into such a reasonable letter. ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/66 "2001-10-15T22:10:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* > Suddenly “God” is everywhere, as ubiquitous as American flags, spreading like mildew in a damp basement. A cup of bleach in a gallon of water sprayed around the basement will fix that. Ok maybe we need a couple billion gallons and 500+ firefighting air tankers to spread it in this case. MEB you are my new rant hero. Time to start the First Church of Bucknerism! If I wasn’t engaged to Cyn I would offer to marry you. ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/67 "2001-10-15T22:43:32Z")
Well, I have to point out that that bit about comparing God to mildew was actually Kathleen Parker’s analogy, not mine. > [@](#): > > Time to start the First Church of Bucknerism! But I’m a militant atheist! I’m against churches! By inspiring people to start a church in my name… _ **I’VE NEGATED MY OWN EXISTENCE!** _ [sup]Nooo[/sup]ooo[sub]ooo…[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2001, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/68 "2001-10-15T23:03:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* > \*\*Well, I have to point out that that bit about comparing God to mildew was actually Kathleen Parker’s analogy, not mine. I realized that was pustule brains statement not yours. > [@](#): > > Time to start the First Church of Bucknerism! But I’m a militant atheist! I’m against churches! By inspiring people to start a church in my name… _ **I’VE NEGATED MY OWN EXISTENCE!** _ [sup]Nooo[/sup]ooo[sub]ooo…[/sub] \*\* [/QUOTE] So much for “Frag a Fundie Friday” at the temple of Buckner. Bowling for BinLadens on Wed nights I was hoping to be the Church Activity Coordinator!! Damn! Would have been a cool sig too Drachillix-Activity Coordinator 1st Church of Bucknerism ---
**Author:** ![JDM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90db22/32.png) [@JDM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDM)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/69 "2001-10-19T19:56:33Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by rsa \* > \*\*But maybe there is a silver lining. Apparently atheists ARE speaking out now. Outraged atheists have absolutly taken over the Kathleen Parker “Chat Room” (actually message board). Tons of posts from Marines, other military atheists, mothers of atheists, a widow of an atheist. Lots of letters people have sent to USA Today as well. > > Check it out here and add your voice if you’d like: [http://www.kparker.com/chat/chatframeset.html](http://www.kparker.com/chat/chatframeset.html) \*\* Update here- as of today, KP has closed her chatroom, saying: > [@](#): > > \*\*Because I welcome children and other civil folk to my website and chat room, I’m forced to close this one down. I had hoped visitors would avoid profanity and play by the rules of civil discourse and am disappointed that so many have chosen the low road. I’ll consider reopening it again some day on a membership basis. My apologies to those who used it constructively. > > Kathleen \*\* I had actually been impressed by the generally high road taken- many posters disagreed with her, and disagreed strongly, but the verbiage was _much_ less “colorful” than GD, for instance. I wonder how long it will be before she has a column about how the “filthy-mouthed” atheists “forced” her to shut down her chatroom. Question: in the Army, do they still punish people by forcing them to do KP for a month? Seems cruel and inhuman to me… JDM ---
**Author:** ![super\_head](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@super\_head](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/super_head)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/70 "2001-10-22T00:27:46Z")
Ah, yes, I just went back for a visit to KP’s “chat room” (nevermind that it’s a message board - probably too much to expect her to be even moderately internet literate) and was greeted by her “Whine, whine, whine, I have to shut the board down, whine, whine” message. It’s amazing how consistently the woman lies - first about atheists in foxholes, then about atheists in the WTC, then about the religious origin of our nation, and now about those “potty-mouthed” atheists who ruined her little site. I would hazard a guess that upwards of 90% of the posts were civil in their tone and merely strongly showed the poster was at odds with the ignorance Kathleen so proudly flaunted (and flaunts to this day) in her columns. Of course, the silent atheists showed her we can make a lot of noise if challenged, and poor little Kathy couldn’t take it. Bitch. ---
**Author:** ![lenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3bc359/32.png) [@lenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lenin)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/71 "2001-10-22T02:09:39Z")
MEB, we can worship you without being in a church! It’ll be a monastary, see? And now we shave our heads and bow down in thanks… Then burn effigies of this whore and kick puppies! It’ll be fun! -L ---
**Author:** ![Searching\_For\_Truth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@Searching\_For\_Truth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Searching_For_Truth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/72 "2001-10-22T02:51:47Z")
As if it isn’t obvious that everyone now worships **MEB** , I’ll throw my adoration in the mix. I was on the phone with **ARose** , and he read portions of the OP to me, while we laughed hysterically and decided to dedicate the rest of our lives to worshipping your awesomeness, memorizing the OP, and standing on street corners screaming it aloud to the passerby masses… [sub]So maybe **ARose** didn’t agree with it, and it’s just me, but that’s just details and who needs details? ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/73 "2001-10-22T04:58:30Z")
I am the LORD thy Ranter. Thou shalt not kick puppies. (Or kittens, either.) Also, the idea of a “monastery” is probably even less appealing to me than a “church”. A “nunnery” now–something along the lines of the one in _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_–would be an entirely different question. No shaven heads are required. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/74 "2001-10-22T05:33:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MEBuckner \* > A “nunnery” now–something along the lines of the one in _Monty Python and the Holy Grail_–would be an entirely different question. Get thee to a nunnery:D ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 5:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/75 "2001-10-22T05:59:26Z")
**Buckner** , that’s exactly how I felt when I responded to this thread: [National day of Prayer and Remembrance - no separation of Church and State?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=87306) I just wasn’t as eloquent. ---
**Author:** ![jab1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ee7513/32.png) [@jab1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jab1)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/76 "2001-10-22T22:35:06Z")
[Here](http://www.orlandosentinel.com/news/opinion/columnists/orl-edpparker17101701oct17.column), Kathy explains why free speech is a Bad Thing. I think I know her problem. Charley Reese retired from the _Orlando Sentinel_ in July and now she has to be their High-Paid Nutjob Who Writes Offensive Columns in Order to Boost Circulation. It’s actually an easy gig because you don’t have to know much. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/77 "2001-11-04T18:27:21Z")
This rant has been submitted to the Page O Flames at the TMHP [http://www.teemingmillions.com](http://www.teemingmillions.com) I’m considering moving it, however, to the Classic Posts page… ---
**Author:** ![MEBuckner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mebuckner/32/2896_2.png) [@MEBuckner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MEBuckner)\ **Post date:** [November 4, 2001, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/78 "2001-11-04T21:28:59Z")
Well, I’m deeply honored either way. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/79 "2001-11-05T00:44:08Z")
Glad to see you don’t mind. I was rereading this and the PoF at the same time, and I was thinking, so I submitted it. Enjoy your immortality. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/838e76/32.png) [@The\_Mick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mick)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2001, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935/80 "2001-11-05T04:02:38Z")
I’m afraid I must ask: why so much anger? The Christians are btohering you because they think that if you die, you’ll spend eternity in hell being tortured. They care about you, whether or not their beliefs are founded. In their minds, they’re trying to save you from eternal pain. So mellow out and let them do their thing. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kathleen-parker-i-got-yer-fuckin-god-right-here/84935.md?page=5)