# Hey kids! Lets put on a show! DOPE AID 2001 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223 "2001-11-14T00:49:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/1 "2001-11-14T00:49:10Z")
With the SDMB thinking about going pay to play, I say we put on a virtual Benefit Show, to raise funds to keep this board the way it is. We can call it **DOPE AID 2001**. Now all we need is the Teeming Millions to lend their talents to the show. **Spider Woman** plays a mean oboe, and can recite some of her limericks. **chique** can milk a cow, **lno** can molest it.šŸ˜‰ **Rysdad** and **Cajun Man** can spin yarns about Minnesota and Loosyana. **DrMatrix** can show people the hadron in his pocket. And I can count to 21. How about the rest of you? What talent can you contribute to the show? šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/2 "2001-11-14T00:51:26Z")
Master of Ceremonies. Ask around. I throw one helluva mean party. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/3 "2001-11-14T00:52:54Z")
As **bouv** , **moi** and **that\_darn\_cat** can verify for you, I can hold myself parallel to the ground on my hands. And **Jonathan Chance** thrws one HELL of a party. Goodlord. Plus I think he saw my trick as well. ---
**Author:** ![greenlady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6f9a4e/32.png) [@greenlady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/greenlady)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/4 "2001-11-14T01:01:12Z")
I can provide piano accompaniment to **Spider Womanā€™s** oboe playing. ---
**Author:** ![blur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dbc845/32.png) [@blur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blur)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/5 "2001-11-14T01:09:02Z")
I can wiggle my earsā€¦ I guess that could make me some sort of sideshow freak earwiggler type thingā€¦ er, maybe Iā€™ll just buy a ticket. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/6 "2001-11-14T01:15:36Z")
> [@](#): > > And I can count to 21. Putcha pants back on, **imthjckaz**! ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/7 "2001-11-14T01:17:46Z")
šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/8 "2001-11-14T01:20:59Z")
I think someone on the side just puts together a fund, announce (in a private way) that the SDMB needs a new server, we all cough up what we can (if we can) and ship the damn thing to the Chicago Reader as an annoymous gift. Much like youā€™d give a cheese log to your client, we simply pony up and send them a new server and forget about all the pay vs. struggle situations. Of course this person will have to be as honest as you can find but it will solve a lot of problems for the time being. ---
**Author:** ![Spider\_Woman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@Spider\_Woman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spider_Woman)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/9 "2001-11-14T01:59:05Z")
can provide commentary for the documentary that is eventually made about the SDMB Virtual Talent Show! In the meantime: On with the show! I have double-jointed thumbs guaranteed to gross out the strongest stomach. **imthjckaz** has the worldā€™s loudest snore; heard on three floors simultaneously. ----:p/ ----///\\ ---
**Author:** ![HerMajestyLorna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7cd45c/32.png) [@HerMajestyLorna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HerMajestyLorna)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/10 "2001-11-14T02:32:37Z")
I can make myself look realisticly pregnant (Iā€™m not). I can put my fist in my mouth. I can put both my legs behind my head. Do I get in? ---
**Author:** ![Rysdad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7cd45c/32.png) [@Rysdad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rysdad)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/11 "2001-11-14T02:39:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by HerMajestyLorna \* > \*\*I can make myself look realisticly pregnant (Iā€™m not). I can put my fist in my mouth. I can put both my legs behind my head. > > Do I get in? \*\* You betcha. Can you do all three at once? Hmā€¦yarn spinninā€™ā€¦ Did I ever tell you about the time I launched a friend of mine into low earth orbitā€¦in my van? ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/12 "2001-11-14T03:22:08Z")
I can belly-dance. That should bring some people in. ---
**Author:** ![racinchikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@racinchikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racinchikki)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/13 "2001-11-14T03:31:22Z")
I can play ā€œThe Thunder Rollsā€ on the guitar, and I can tie my shoes, and I can make a hand-sewn blanket to raffle off for profit. And if we have a bake sale in the lobby I can make some really good coookies. I guess thatā€™s really all my talents. ---
**Author:** ![Gaspode](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/aeb1de/32.png) [@Gaspode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gaspode)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/14 "2001-11-14T03:39:48Z")
I can play the piano accordian and Morris Dance and ā€¦ Oww Stop it, stop throwing things, owwā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/779978/32.png) [@Amazing\_Tiki\_God](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amazing_Tiki_God)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/15 "2001-11-14T03:43:02Z")
While we got **Jonathan Chance** being the master of ceremonies we need someone to do all the glitzy tech stuff behind the scenes. Of course being geekish in all things tech related Iā€™ll gladly give myself that duty. ---
**Author:** ![Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nefarious_chipmunk/32/1045_2.png) [@Nefarious\_Chipmunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nefarious_Chipmunk)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/16 "2001-11-14T05:17:16Z")
Hmmmā€¦ well **Shera** and I have a real cool mind-reading act that we could do šŸ™‚ Other then that, I usher better then anyone I know šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/17 "2001-11-14T05:30:09Z")
I am the mistress of **Dance Dance Revolution.** That oughtta be good for something. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![chique](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4491bb/32.png) [@chique](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chique)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/18 "2001-11-14T06:02:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by imthjckaz \* > **chique** can milk a cow, **lno** can molest it.šŸ˜‰ Dear god, man, I hope weā€™re not doing that at the same time! :eek: I also know a little bit of first aid, which will help lno IMMEASURABLY when the cow gets annoyed šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/19 "2001-11-14T06:18:07Z")
Yeah, this showā€™s starting to take shape. Are there any jugglers or acrobats out there? Anybody speak in tongues? Or do anything else with their tongue?[Silver Fire](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=1655200#post1655200)? Anybody proficient in double speak? ---
**Author:** ![TruePisces](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/truepisces/32/13628_2.png) [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2001, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/20 "2001-11-14T23:27:27Z")
Juggler? Nope. But my best friend from High School is a professional juggler. Speak in tongues? Nope. But I can do some really bad accents if you want. Do anything else with my tongue? Not anything that wonā€™t get me arrested. Proficient in double speak? Nope again. But I have been told I can sing a tune or two, relatively on key, and I can recite various Monkees and Sci-Fi/Fantasy facts, if anyone is interested. Other than that, Iā€™m pretty much useless. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223.md?page=2)