# Hey kids! Lets put on a show! DOPE AID 2001 **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 14, 2001, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223 "2001-11-14T00:49:10Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 19\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/41 "2001-11-16T00:08:53Z")
**We are the Teeming** There comes a time when we need to raise some dough When Teeming Millions must open wallets There are people posting But it might not last too long Our words go out to all We can’t go on losing cash day by day Hoping banner ads will somehow make it pay We’re all a part of Cecil’s weird family And the truth - you know money is all we need (CHORUS) We are the Teeming We are the Millions We ask and answer outrageous questions by the zillions There’s a choice we’re making We’re saving our post count It clear we’ll make a better board Cecil and me Send them your OP About -gry or foreskins It all makes the board stonger, not free The mods have shown us By turning trolls to banned Now it’s our turn to reach out a helping hand (REPEAT CHORUS) When your post count’s low Your threads die out real quick But if you bump and ramble You’ll soon be in the clique Hell, hell, hell, it’s worth it Fighting ignorance is tough When we met the enemy and it is us (REPEAT CHORUS AND FADE) ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/42 "2001-11-16T01:36:36Z")
Bravo, **Telemark**! Very well done. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_griffin-kentzel/32/14787_2.png) [@Larry\_Griffin-Kentzel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Griffin-Kentzel)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/43 "2001-11-16T01:45:33Z")
> [@](#): > > Orators- **Rysdad** and **Cajun Man** Uh, I believe that’s **Cajun Man** and **Rysdad**. . . alphabetical order, and all. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Smashed\_Ice\_Cream](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Smashed\_Ice\_Cream](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smashed_Ice_Cream)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 4:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/44 "2001-11-16T04:16:38Z")
\*\* Telemark \*\* I think you may be my new hero. sic ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/45 "2001-11-16T04:17:36Z")
**Do they think it’s free online** It’s cold online There’s no need to go away At Straight Dope Online we fight ignorance and the inane And on our Boards of Plenty we can keep the dogs at bay Post your heart out to world, it’s cold online But pay a fare For the Chicago Reader fund When it’s free online you realize that they are paying some It’s a Web brought to your window But it’s a Web of cranks and geeks Where the crap and bile they’re typing is the useless spew of freaks And the Moon Hoax, Killer Groundhogs, and the Nameless One reign true Well tonight thank Cec’ it’s them that’s banned not you And they won’t post free SMDB next year this time The greatest gift from Cecil will go cold No pixels ever glow there No MIPSIMS or IMHOs there Do they think it’s free online or what?! (Here’s to Us) The teeming millions in the sky (Here’s to Them) The mods, admins, and that Zotti guy Do they think it’s free online or what?! Free the Boards Free the Boards Free the Boards Let them know the web ain’t dead Free the Boards Let them know the web ain’t dead (Repeat then fade) ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/46 "2001-11-16T13:06:11Z")
We need a magician for this to work. I humbly volunteer for the job. I’ll put on a full stage show with levitations, large animal productions, and other amazing stuff. I can juggle as well, though not nearly as many as Smashed Ice Cream, but I can pass clubs and juggle cigar boxes. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 1:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/47 "2001-11-16T13:28:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by iampunha \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by Ethilrist \* > > I can … sing pirate transvestite songs … > > There’s MORE than one? > > There’s ONE? \*\* You bet! Just go to [The Mudcat Cafe](http://www.mudcat.org/) and click on the link to Search the Digital Traditions Database, then do a search on transvestite. I used a little artistic license to say that all sailor transvestite songs are pirate transvestite songs, but you get the idea. Now, the _weird_ thing is that most of them are love songs… ---
**Author:** ![BarbieOrBritney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47774/32.png) [@BarbieOrBritney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarbieOrBritney)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/48 "2001-11-16T14:27:23Z")
Even though I’m a newbie, I think I have something to contribute. I do a mean Britney Spears impression, _and_ can spin plates! And, may I add, I’m in love with the ideas of crabwalking and pirate transvestite songs ("…yo ho ho, a he-she’s life for me…"). Anyone up for underwater basket weaving? ---
**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/49 "2001-11-16T14:43:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by imthjckaz \* > \*\*\*\*Strippers!!! > > We need strippers!!!\*\* \*\* I’ll be a fluffer. I mean, you know, if that service is needed… ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/50 "2001-11-16T22:28:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Beelzebubba \* > \*\*I’ll be a fluffer. I mean, you know, if that service is needed… \*\* Yeah, that service is always handy to have around. Whether it’s needed or not, we could always use a fluffer. **BarbieOrBritney** , how about a Britney Spears imitation while underwater basket weaving? ---
**Author:** ![BarbieOrBritney](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e47774/32.png) [@BarbieOrBritney](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BarbieOrBritney)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2001, 1:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/51 "2001-11-17T01:19:47Z")
> [@](#): > > BarbieOrBritney, how about a Britney Spears imitation while underwater basket weaving? You bet, **imthjckaz**! 😉 All I ask is that I get to hear the pirate transvestite songs, at least once. ---
**Author:** ![ultress](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/7c8e57/32.png) [@ultress](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultress)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2001, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/52 "2001-11-17T16:56:34Z")
Hook me up a keyboard onstage and I can type out a mean song…you name the song and I can play it. What? You don’t believe me? ::nods head:: I can, I can. ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2001, 8:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/53 "2001-11-18T08:01:44Z")
oh please please please please can I be the cotton candy lady? ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 18, 2001, 11:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/54 "2001-11-18T23:08:00Z")
Is that a strip tease routine? Yes? We could find some use for something sweet and sticky that you have lick off your fingers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5fc32e/32.png) [@Bad\_News\_Baboon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bad_News_Baboon)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2001, 7:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/55 "2001-11-19T07:35:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by imthjckaz \* > \*\* > We could find some use for something sweet and sticky that you have lick off your fingers. > > \*\* soooooo then… you’re saying??? 😕 OH! I GET it! You want me to sell caramel apples along side my cotton candy! AWESOME! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [November 19, 2001, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/56 "2001-11-19T10:18:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by saffostarr \* > \*\*I am the mistress of **Dance Dance Revolution.** That oughtta be good for something. 😃 \*\* 😕 do i know you? um… i’m a cat. a talking cat. who can type. does that count? ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/57 "2001-11-20T01:01:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Bad News Baboon \* > \*\*You want me to sell caramel apples along side my cotton candy! > > AWESOME! > 😃 \*\* You mean actual cotton candy? Not some dance routine? Caramel apples? OK, now I’m just getting hungry. **Cougarfang** , talking cat you say. Hmmm, works for me. You’re in. ---
**Author:** ![RaCha\_ar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c2a13f/32.png) [@RaCha\_ar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RaCha_ar)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/58 "2001-11-20T05:24:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cougarfang \* > 😕 do i know you? > \*\* ::looks really, really bewildered:: …no? …am I missing something, here? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Cougarfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c67d28/32.png) [@Cougarfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cougarfang)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2001, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223/59 "2001-11-20T08:47:56Z")
we just had a dance at our school, and it was called “Dance Dance Revolution”… just wondering… wow, it’s so easy to get in? wait till i round up the rest of my friends… a dancing, talking dragon or two and a bunch of 'nip-addicted talking cats oughta do it… [long silence] just kidding, just kidding! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-kids-lets-put-on-a-show-dope-aid-2001/93223.md?page=2)