# Hey, let's be needlessly cruel: Shitty, no-talent child actors! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 4, 2007, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677 "2007-06-04T08:36:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/1 "2007-06-04T08:36:33Z")
Ever wonder why there weren’t many [Carrie-](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0338645/)centered episodes of _Little House on the Prairie?_ Whenever she was in a scene, she had to be promptly taken out of the scene with bowel-soiling problems. Always. Cuz THE TWIN CHICKS PLAYING HER COULDN’T ACT THEIR WAY OUT OF A PAPER BAG. Why else would the Ingalls family continue to adopt so many people that didn’t exist in real life? Because the actresses playing Carrie really sucked balls, that’s why. Yours? ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/2 "2007-06-04T08:41:49Z")
Huh? ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Hildo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/bbce88/32.png) [@Johnny\_Hildo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Hildo)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/3 "2007-06-04T09:14:48Z")
[QUOTE=lissener] Huh? [/QUOTE] Pearly gobs of wisdom as always from you. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/4 "2007-06-04T09:20:58Z")
What did you expect? Lindsay Green Bush / Lindsay Sidney Green Bush / Lindsay Sidney Greenbush / Rachael Lindsay Greenbush / Rachel Lindsay Greenbush and her twin sister, Lindsay Sidney Green Bush / Robin Bush / Sidney Green Bush / Sydney Green Bush / Lindsay Sidney Greenbush / Sidney Robin Greenbush, apparently spent so much time thinking up alternate names for themselves (as documented on IMDB) that they simply never got around to polishing their acting chops. ---
**Author:** ![Darryl\_Lict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@Darryl\_Lict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darryl_Lict)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 9:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/5 "2007-06-04T09:24:02Z")
Well, I think Jake Lloyd from the Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace deserves a mention. Or maybe he was cursed by George Lucas’ unimaginably wooden dialogue. Looking at his IMDB filmography, it looks like he’s thankfully been put to rest. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/6 "2007-06-04T10:02:02Z")
The BBC Narnia series weren’t helped by the fat whiny little girl who was completely miscast as Lucy. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/7 "2007-06-04T10:44:03Z")
I think most child actors suck. I’d say the truly gifted account for about 10% of the kids we see on screen. Gary Coleman? Oh fercrissakes…how did that kid get to be a mega-superstar? “Whatchyutalkin’bout, Willis?” His acting talent (or lack thereof) is the reason I saw him hawking Payday Loans on tv the other day. ---
**Author:** ![Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cc9497/32.png) [@Capt.Ridley\_s\_Shooting\_Party](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capt.Ridley_s_Shooting_Party)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 11:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/8 "2007-06-04T11:02:08Z")
I agree with **Kalhoun** , almost all child actors suck. In fact, the presence of a child actor in the cast is almost enough to completely ruin the film for me. They’re intensely irritating. ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/9 "2007-06-04T11:39:29Z")
Child actors aren’t hired because they can _act_, they’re hired because they look appropriate for the part; because they are capable of spending the required amount of time on the set without melting down; because they are capable of parroting back the lines they need to speak; and because they can dependably do as they are told – not just during shooting and rehearsal, but also during the hang-around-waiting-to-work part of the day. End result – most child actors are fairly lousy actors. Child actors who actually _can_ act are very rare and quite often go on to have acting careers as adults. The rest become what we think of as “former child actors.” I nominate the Olson Twins for the Lousy-Child-Actor-Hall-of-Fame. My kids grew up watching Full House, and my daughter went through a period of liking their non-Full House offerering, so I have an entirely unwelcome familiarity with their oeuvre. They’re just awful. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/10 "2007-06-04T12:22:21Z")
That kid from The Bad News Bears (?) who was nominated for best supporting in Little Children…Wow…he had a long hiatus, but I thought his performance was great. Maybe he spent all that time learning how to act. Dakota Fanning will do well, as will Haley Joel Osment, I think. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 12:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/11 "2007-06-04T12:28:09Z")
The kid from The Shining. I was rooting for Jack to break his damn finger. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 12:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/12 "2007-06-04T12:31:11Z")
I came in here to mention the Olson Twins and am still baffled on how they are billionaires now. ---
**Author:** ![Athena](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/35a633/32.png) [@Athena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Athena)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/13 "2007-06-04T12:33:18Z")
[QUOTE=Malacandra] The BBC Narnia series weren’t helped by the fat whiny little girl who was completely miscast as Lucy. [/QUOTE] Oh no kidding. That was a horrible, horrible decision. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/14 "2007-06-04T12:36:46Z")
Two words: Wesley Crusher ---
**Author:** ![fessie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c37758/32.png) [@fessie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fessie)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/15 "2007-06-04T12:49:34Z")
That kid on the Partridge Family wasn’t even really _playing_ those drums. Sheesh! ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/16 "2007-06-04T13:03:08Z")
[QUOTE=Jess] End result – most child actors are fairly lousy actors. Child actors who actually _can_ act are very rare and quite often go on to have acting careers as adults. The rest become what we think of as “former child actors.” [/QUOTE] When my dad was a cute little blond kid he passed the initial auditon to play Richard Widmark’s character’s son, but he got in trouble so my grandmother shipped him out to military academy instead. My grandmother was a bit-player around the studios, the classic stuff of frustrated actors who become stage parents. But even if she had been more ambitious in pushing him, I dont’ think his acting abilities would go beyond the thousands of other guys auditioning for the chance to project their teenage angst onto the screen, made fashionable at the time by James Dean. However, if he’d been taken under the wing of actual craftsmen in an environment that respected acting, as was Christain Bale, he as well as the child stars listed in this thread might have done better. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/17 "2007-06-04T13:06:56Z")
[QUOTE=Dung Beetle] The kid from “The Shining.” I was rooting for Jack to break his damn finger. [/QUOTE] I didn’t mind the kid from the Kubrick movie so much. But the kid who played the same role in the TV miniseries a few years ago was really annoying. Same one who did an ad for Disney not long before - very chubby cheeks and a googly-eyed look that drove me up the wall. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/18 "2007-06-04T13:58:47Z")
I have no love for Jonathan Lipnicki’s acting. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/19 "2007-06-04T14:04:07Z")
That screamy, screechy little urchin from _Six-String Samurai_. He took a well-intentioned bad movie and made it really bad. ---
**Author:** ![Menocchio](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9de053/32.png) [@Menocchio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Menocchio)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/20 "2007-06-04T14:25:47Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Two words: Wesley Crusher [/QUOTE] See Stand By Me. Given a writer and a director that knows what the hell to do with him, Wheaton’s alright. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677.md?page=2)