# Hey, let's be needlessly cruel: Shitty, no-talent child actors! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 4, 2007, 8:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677 "2007-06-04T08:36:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Spoke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a88e57/32.png) [@Spoke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoke)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/41 "2007-06-04T18:02:45Z")
I vote for [Jonathan Lipnicki](http://us.imdb.com/name/nm0005151/), who played the annoying kid in [Jerry Maguire](http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0116695/). The kid was such a horrible actor he made Tom Cruise look like a master thespian by comparison. ---
**Author:** ![Dante](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dante/32/9673_2.png) [@Dante](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dante)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/42 "2007-06-04T18:16:57Z")
[QUOTE=Capatalist Lion Tamer] Wow, I can almost feel my IQ dropping as I sit here. Was that post changed, or have words lost all meaning to me? [/QUOTE] I did do an edit there, as I had misremembered her being related to Jodie Sweetin, who played the middle sister in Full House speaking of abysmal child actors… ---
**Author:** ![Delly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85f322/32.png) [@Delly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delly)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/43 "2007-06-04T18:46:42Z")
I dont really watch the show but Ive seen enough of it to know that the twin boys on Seventh Heaven are up there with the worst child actors of all time ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/44 "2007-06-04T19:13:28Z")
Oh my god. Danielle Spencer, Dee on What’s Happening!! (note the two exclamation points). She was so bad, she was good. No, maybe she wasn’t. She was so bad, she was hilarious. Yes, that’s it. Hilarious, in a point-your-finger-and-laugh-at-the-retarded-acting kind of way. Actual wood had nothing on her. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/45 "2007-06-04T19:16:40Z")
[QUOTE=eleanorigby] I third the Olsen twins. There is something wrong with their facial phsyiognomy (spelling?)–they look like human ferrets to me. I cannot see where they got their billions from. [/QUOTE] Remember [troll dolls](http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=troll+doll&gbv=2)? the ones with the plastic faces and the fake fur hair. The [Olsen twins](http://www.classicmoviekids.com/images/o/olsentwins/olsentwins304.jpg) looked like real-life troll dolls. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/46 "2007-06-04T19:32:05Z")
[QUOTE=BMax] Remember [troll dolls](http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=troll+doll&gbv=2)? the ones with the plastic faces and the fake fur hair. The [Olsen twins](http://www.classicmoviekids.com/images/o/olsentwins/olsentwins304.jpg) looked like real-life troll dolls. [/QUOTE] Yes, that is it, that is what they used to remind me of. Thank you for the pictures to go with the excellent comparison. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/47 "2007-06-04T19:35:21Z")
[QUOTE=5-4-Fighting] Oh my god. Danielle Spencer, Dee on What’s Happening!! (note the two exclamation points). She was so bad, she was good. No, maybe she wasn’t. She was so bad, she was hilarious. Yes, that’s it. Hilarious, in a point-your-finger-and-laugh-at-the-retarded-acting kind of way. Actual wood had nothing on her. [/QUOTE] Ha! I’m almost brought her up, but I figured nobody else would remember her. I can’t remember if she was really a bad actor or if she was just really annoying, with her loud whine and her constantly tattling on her brother. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/48 "2007-06-04T20:09:22Z")
Whomever the littlest Keaton was on Family Ties. The blonde girl. And Mallory, too. REally, it should have been the Alex Keaton Show. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/49 "2007-06-04T20:09:26Z")
I’m gonna have to offer up Brandon De Wilde, who played the little kid Joey in _Shane_. That kid remains the reason I cannot own a copy of that movie. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/50 "2007-06-04T20:10:03Z")
[QUOTE=What Exit?] Anyone remember DJ from Roseanne, terrible child actor. [/QUOTE] I think DJ falls into a particular group: The kid who was hired when they were 4 years old and were essentially a living prop, but the series lived on for several years afterward and it became increasingly clear that the kid is no better at acting than they were at 4. Especially compared to the petite and slender and “young looking” professional actors in their 20s who were hired to play teenagers and still look exactly the same as they did 10 years ago, while their baby siblings have grown into monstrous behemoths who also still can’t act. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/51 "2007-06-04T20:11:55Z")
I don’t know who this girl is, or if the commerical is still running somewhere out there, but the **Welch’s** Grape Juice Girl not only was horrid, she frightened me more than a car full of zombies. I have to add that the entire cast of **Facts of Life** was just plain awful. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/52 "2007-06-04T20:13:39Z")
Full Houses’s Kimmy Gibbler made the other children look good. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/53 "2007-06-04T20:18:00Z")
I forgot the other side of the equation in the evolution of the child actor. On one hand, you have the normal kid who grows up into a gigantic bloated freak next to their svelte “teenage” siblings. On the other hand we have the Emmanuel Lewises and the Gary Colemans who were hired to play kids much younger than themselves, so while their older brothers and sisters are going through puberty don’t appear to age at all…they still look 8 years old compared to their “slightly older” but now adult siblings. ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/54 "2007-06-04T20:21:00Z")
[QUOTE=Shirley Ujest] Whomever the littlest Keaton was on Family Ties. The blonde girl. And Mallory, too. REally, it should have been the Alex Keaton Show. [/QUOTE] Wait, really? I thought both sisters were ok. Justine Bateman as Mallory was convincing as the fairly air-headed sister and Tina Yothers I thought did a very good job for a kid actress. Besides Justine Bateman was so drop-dead gorgeous that any lack of acting skill would not be noticed by the young males like me that were her age. Tina was only 9 when the show started. She did an adequate job and got better as the show went along. Justine was 15 or 16 when it went on the air. I am not sure if that counts as a child actress. Michael J. Fox was of course not a kid actor, just a short adult. He was extremely good and he did take over the show. Jim ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/55 "2007-06-04T20:21:02Z")
[QUOTE=NajaNivea] There’s a great little special features documentary on the DVD that includes interviews with Rob Reiner and all the kids except River Phoneix. One thing they talk pretty extensively about is how terrible in general child actors are, and how you have to cast them pretty close to spot on in terms of their real personality lining up with the character, that kids just don’t have the skills and craft to act a role at all removed from their own personality. [/QUOTE] This sounds terribly ironic to me, given that Corey Feldman plays the very troubled kid who is destined to go to jail, and Corey Feldman in real life was…well, a very troubled kid who would eventually get in serious legal trouble (with drugs, don’t know if he actually went to jail though.) ---
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/56 "2007-06-04T20:23:33Z")
[QUOTE=Lemur866] I think DJ falls into a particular group: The kid who was hired when they were 4 years old and were essentially a living prop, but the series lived on for several years afterward and it became increasingly clear that the kid is no better at acting than they were at 4. Especially compared to the petite and slender and “young looking” professional actors in their 20s who were hired to play teenagers and still look exactly the same as they did 10 years ago, while their baby siblings have grown into monstrous behemoths who also still can’t act. [/QUOTE] Well, it did not help that Sara Gilbert was really playing her age and was an exceptional child actress. It made DJ look that much worse. Jim ---
**Author:** ![susan\_foster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d9b06d/32.png) [@susan\_foster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan_foster)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/57 "2007-06-04T20:35:34Z")
Freddie Highmore. (Had to look him up). Wanted to smack him in Finding Neverland. Wanted to smack him in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Susan ---
**Author:** ![SaharaTea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9a140/32.png) [@SaharaTea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SaharaTea)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/58 "2007-06-04T20:38:43Z")
I can’t believe no one’s mentioned her yet - Raven-Symone’s portrayal of Olivia on the \*\*Cosby Show \*\* made we want to strangle her cutesy little neck. Her character practically ruined the show - a shame, since all the other kids were good actors. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/59 "2007-06-04T20:47:52Z")
[QUOTE=SaharaTea] Her character practically ruined the show - a shame, since all the other kids were good actors. [/QUOTE] I’ll agree with four-fifths of that, but no one will ever convince me that Lisa Bonet could act. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2007, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677/60 "2007-06-04T21:01:57Z")
[QUOTE=KneadToKnow] I’ll agree with four-fifths of that, but no one will ever convince me that Lisa Bonet could act. [/QUOTE] If you’ve seen _Angel Heart_ then you’ll know that there were a few years when she didn’t need to act, just show up in a wet T- shirt. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-lets-be-needlessly-cruel-shitty-no-talent-child-actors/406677.md?page=4)