# hey look it's a kissing thread **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 22, 2008, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034 "2008-11-22T21:36:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/21 "2008-11-23T15:07:08Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Q: Is it OK during a string of kisses to occasionally draw one of your lovers lips lightly in between your lips and faux-nibble it before starting the next kiss? This depends on the partner. Last night, for example, the answer was YES. Other girls I’ve kissed, though, haven’t liked it. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/22 "2008-11-23T15:15:46Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Did you ask her what specifically she’d like? That was my first thought. When she said “That was terrible”, you should have asked her _specifically_ what made it “terrible” and what, in her humble opinion, would make it better. As for touching, someone upthread mentioned touching the face during kissing. Oh, yeah! Plus, my hubby scores extra points if he cradles the back of my neck (like he’s cupping the base of my skull in his hand, with his hand under my hair) when kissing, or softly stroking the palms of my hands. Gah, he’s been gone since last Tuesday and won’t be home until tonight! Why am I _reading_ and thinking this stuff?? :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/23 "2008-11-23T19:26:05Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > Q: Is it OK during a string of kisses to occasionally draw one of your lovers lips lightly in between your lips and faux-nibble it before starting the next kiss? Yes, but let go of it very quickly. Tugging or biting is just painful and offputting. OP, it’s 90% lips, 10% tongue. And your tongue’s job is to focus on her lips, _occasionally_ touching her tongue. Your mouth shouldn’t be open more than a few seconds. Remember the 90-10 rule and you can figure out the rest. ---
**Author:** ![KarlGrenze](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/dbc845/32.png) [@KarlGrenze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarlGrenze)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/24 "2008-11-23T19:48:17Z")
> [@norinew](#): > > Gah, he’s been gone since last Tuesday and won’t be home until tonight! Why am I _reading_ and thinking this stuff?? :smack: To prepare for tonight, ma’am. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/25 "2008-11-23T20:41:23Z")
> [@KarlGrenze](#): > > To prepare for tonight, ma’am. 🙂 Indeed! In fact, since he’s on his way home now, I should call him on his cell and let _him_ know I’m preparing for tonight! 😉 ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2008, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/26 "2008-11-23T21:41:12Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > While for learning to kiss that could be quiet efficient I think there might be other problems that’d caused that you haven’t considered. Did you actually think I was serious? If she doesn’t like your kissing, she should just demonstrate what she likes. It’s a very subjective thing. ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/27 "2008-11-24T01:02:10Z")
> [@guizot](#): > > Did you actually think I was serious? If she doesn’t like your kissing, she should just demonstrate what she likes. It’s a very subjective thing. WHOOSH!! On who’s part, I dunno. You: “Get a new girlfriend”, meaning dump her and get a new gf Him: “That might cause a problem”, joke being you didn’t say he should dump the first. You: “Did you actually think I was serious?” missing the joke. If you meant that the OP should play a little on the side, then I guess he was the whooshee. ---
**Author:** ![Rachael\_Rage](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71c47a/32.png) [@Rachael\_Rage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachael_Rage)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/28 "2008-11-24T01:15:23Z")
Brush your teeth. And if you smoke, stop. Plus what everyone else has said. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/73ab20/32.png) [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tao_s_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/29 "2008-11-24T03:36:44Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Did you ask her what specifically she’d like? I did tonight! She likes lip action working upto to tongue. I think I’m connecting the dots finally! Thanks all. > [@guizot](#): > > Did you actually think I was serious? If she doesn’t like your kissing, she should just demonstrate what she likes. It’s a very subjective thing. Hehe I was kidding dude. ---
**Author:** ![MOIDALIZE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@MOIDALIZE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MOIDALIZE)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/30 "2008-11-24T03:38:59Z")
I find that women don’t like having their entire chin in your mouth. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 3:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/31 "2008-11-24T03:48:23Z")
> [@MOIDALIZE](#): > > I find that women don’t like having their entire chin in your mouth. They don’t?! I might have to retire my trademark manoeuver, the Cookie Monster. ---
**Author:** ![sovtawen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ab992/32.png) [@sovtawen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sovtawen)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/32 "2008-11-24T07:26:02Z")
Kissing is not a series of dance steps. “You’re a bad kisser” actually means “you don’t kiss in the style I prefer”. Keep that in mind. There are lots of different ways to kiss – what you are doing is not necessarily bad - especially if it feels good to you. It’s just not pushing the right buttons for your girlfriend. The key to pleasing her is to match her style. People tend to kiss in the way they would like to be kissed. Start slow and simple, pay attention to what she’s doing and do the same. You can’t go wrong that way. That’s all you really need to know. Kissing is an art, not a science, and it has to please both of you – not just her. Memorize too many rules, and you become mechanical and inhibited. Relax and have fun. ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/33 "2008-11-24T14:39:18Z")
> [@Brandon](#): > > but most of the time you change it up depending on circumstances. It all comes down to the situation. I’ve read a theory that the romantic moments we most strongly remember are ones which differed from the normal; that _change_, however slight, is what makes our partner take notice and remember the encounter. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/34 "2008-11-24T15:58:00Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > My friend suggested practicing on my fist but that just makes my fist feel kinda wet. Your fist shouldn’t be getting any more wetter than what’s purely required for lubrication. If it’s getting wetter, you’re slobbering. ---
**Author:** ![Daerlyn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@Daerlyn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daerlyn)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/35 "2008-11-24T16:18:35Z")
Also! Breathe through your nose! I cannot tell you how many people have turned me off completely by huffing and puffing into my mouth during a makeout. That can be hot later, when heartrates are up and we’re more horizontal, but not while necking on the couch. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/36 "2008-11-24T16:38:57Z")
Humbly stepping forward as a lesbian who, if I may say so, has had many compliments as a Great Snog ™, and qualifies as a Girl who Knows What Girls Like… > [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > My friend suggested practicing on my fist but that just makes my fist feel kinda wet. Doesn’t feel like a kiss at all. TING TING TING TING (warning bells). If your hand is wet, you’re a sloberer. Euch. I think this is a classic example of (most) men and (most) women liking different things. (Most) women don’t appreciate the go-in-hard-fast-and-all-guns-blazing approach. Try kissing without your tongue, don’t swallow her small lips in your big gob, tease her lips gently, pull back, brush your lips against hers, and when you DO introduce the tongue, probe gently, barely inside her month, and see if she extends her tongue to touch yours. If she does, then play with her tongue gently. You can get a bit faster and a bit more probing, but let the poor girl have room to breath and change your speed and rythym often. The same rules apply as you move down to the breasts - remember, they’re not a stress ball and you aren’t kneading bread - stroke the breasts lightly and tease the nipples with your tongue, maybe brush the very tips with your teeth, but never bite (eek). Trust me, you’ll get a positive response. I could go on (or down) but I think that’s far enough for now. ---
**Author:** ![slitterst](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecc23a/32.png) [@slitterst](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slitterst)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/37 "2008-11-24T17:48:36Z")
Very important is to pay attention to her when you’re kissing her. What actions get a good response from her? What does she not respond to at all? Build up a repertoire of several actions that get a good response and start playing around with transitioning from one to another. Don’t spend all your time on one cool move because that might bore her. Oh yeah, and have fun while you’re taking all these mental notes. ---
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/38 "2008-11-24T17:57:09Z")
> [@Daerlyn](#): > > Also! Breathe through your nose! I cannot tell you how many people have turned me off completely by huffing and puffing into my mouth during a makeout. That can be hot later, when heartrates are up and we’re more horizontal, but not while necking on the couch. This! Uck. And when things get a little more frenzied, try to control your swallowing. You shouldn’t have that much spit in your mouth to begin with, swallowing noisely is gross. Absolutely above all else, brush brush brush and floss. Your teeth, your tounge, brush it all thoroughly. [QUOTE=Speaker for the Dead] They don’t?! I might have to retire my trademark manoeuver, the Cookie Monster [/QUOTE] 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/3da27b/32.png) [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nikki_Tikki_Tavi)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/39 "2008-11-24T18:04:48Z")
> [@Nikki\_Tikki\_Tavi](#): > > noisely Noisily. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [November 24, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034/40 "2008-11-24T18:10:31Z")
You asked about ways to solo practice. In high school, us girls used to practice french kissing on cool ranch doritos. The trick was to hold the chip like a tongue, lick the spices off, but don’t make the chip too soggy or have it break. And although **sovtawen** is correct, this is not merely dance steps, there are people who just are not good at this. (Like the guy who tried to kiss me and ended up imitating a fish - just moving his lips up and down like a fish breathing . . .it was weird and creepy and yet he thought that was how it went . . . and looked quite pleased with himself.) Take cues from your partner - remember to vary things up - and don’t forget to take her up on the lessons. They can be very erotic in and of themselves! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-look-its-a-kissing-thread/474034.md?page=3)