# Hey! My eyes are up HERE. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277 "2006-03-28T18:57:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/1 "2006-03-28T18:57:23Z")
In the space of a few seconds: Walking around at work (cuz I gets bored) and a lady who works here that I am on good enough terms with emerges from a dark alley in the cube farm. I slow up and turn a bit to make eye contact so she can catch up with me and we can chat a little bit. Innocent, mundane and dull enough for you yet? I notice her eyes do a shoulder-to-toes-to-eyes scan on me. No biggie, I think everyone does that to everyone from time to time. Greetings take place as she begins to catch up. Her eyes, meanwhile, have wandered back down to my lower mid-section and have fixed on something. WTF klaxons go off and I do a quick checklist for what’s in that area: No coffee today, so there should be no drips or stains, not sporting wood, belt isn’t too tight so no gazeworthy overhang should be manifest, walet’s in the pocket opposite her so no interesting lumps should be visible in my pockets…What’s so damned interesting about down there? “Hey!” sez I, “My eyes are up here!” pointing to my baby blues. “Huh…wha…[embarassed dismissal]” heh heh…priceless. And yes, my fly is/was zipped up tight. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/2 "2006-03-28T19:47:32Z")
Well I don’t blame her one bit. You’re as cute as the dickens. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/3 "2006-03-28T19:58:59Z")
**Cube Farm Lady thinking to herself:** “hmm, that’s where there SHOULD be a bulge…ah well, maybe those are just very baggy trousers…” 😃 😛 :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/4 "2006-03-28T20:28:41Z")
Maybe you had something on your face, like, a big wad of kleenex stuck to your nose, and she was looking down so she wouldn’t break up… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/5 "2006-03-28T20:28:50Z")
No sympathy here! Now you know how us women feel. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/6 "2006-03-28T20:34:18Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] No sympathy here! Now you know how us women feel. 😛 [/QUOTE] Maybe **Inigo** accidently got some glitter “down there”? 😛 ---
**Author:** ![YaWanna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/bbce88/32.png) [@YaWanna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YaWanna)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/7 "2006-03-28T20:37:28Z")
Do us a favor, sweetie - grab a camera, take a picture of the area where her eyes were riveted, and post it here so we can make an objective determination. 'K? Thanks. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/8 "2006-03-28T20:38:11Z")
Go for the beige codpiece tomorrow instead - so much less showy. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/9 "2006-03-28T20:45:58Z")
It would have been a good time to make it move. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/10 "2006-03-28T20:48:51Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] No sympathy here! Now you know how us women feel. 😛 [/QUOTE] I must disagree. It’s ben a long time since I felt a woman. _ba-dum, dum_ And honestly, what’s the world coming to if a guy can’t wear a red sequined codpiece over his khaki Dockers without being gawked at? Even if I wore skin tight pants made of thin white cotton, I should be able to maintain a full on love chubby without attracting the stares of disrespectful coworkers. I’m not just a life support system for a penis! I have a mind too! :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/11 "2006-03-29T00:37:16Z")
Men. They think we respect them for their _minds_… :rolleyes: 😃 ---
**Author:** ![swampbear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/swampbear/32/467_2.png) [@swampbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/swampbear)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/12 "2006-03-29T00:53:20Z")
[QUOTE=Kythereia] Men. They think we respect them for their _minds_… :rolleyes: 😃 [/QUOTE] I know what you mean. If they just insist on sporting those bulges, tight pecs and rock hard forearms, of course they should expect we wouldn’t know what color their eyes are, or the color of their hair.. what? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ruffian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/71e660/32.png) [@Ruffian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruffian)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/13 "2006-03-29T01:45:50Z")
It used to be the boobs that distracted folk. Menfolk, actually. Now I have the huge swollen late-term preggo belly. EVERYone looks at it first, then my eyes…often greeting me and asking how I’m doing while STILL staring at my belly. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f07891/32.png) [@Little\_Plastic\_Ninja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Plastic_Ninja)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/14 "2006-03-29T03:56:57Z")
[QUOTE=lieu] It would have been a good time to make it move. [/QUOTE] When I read this, I cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/15 "2006-03-29T06:27:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Now I have the huge swollen late-term preggo belly. EVERYone looks at it first, then my eyes…often greeting me and asking how I’m doing while STILL staring at my belly. I get that a lot too. It’s especially embarassing as I’m a middle-aged man. ---
**Author:** ![Cardinal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardinal/32/4000_2.png) [@Cardinal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardinal)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/16 "2006-03-29T08:33:57Z")
Quit spreading glitter on your crotch. That should keep attention away from it. Creep. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/17 "2006-03-29T08:45:52Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] No sympathy here! Now you know how us women feel. 😛 [/QUOTE] More to the point, Cube Farm Lady now knows how we men feel! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/18 "2006-03-29T15:13:32Z")
[QUOTE=Anaamika] No sympathy here! Now you know how us women feel. 😛 [/QUOTE] Holy cow! Really? Do you mean to say that half the women out there, when they find someone staring at their goodies, would like to pull their goodies out and let the starer play with them! Wow! Because that’s how men feel. ---
**Author:** ![Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cab0a1/32.png) [@Man\_With\_a\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Man_With_a_Cat)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/19 "2006-03-29T15:20:38Z")
[QUOTE=NurseCarmen] Holy cow! Really? Do you mean to say that half the women out there, when they find someone staring at their goodies, would like to pull their goodies out and let the starer play with them! Wow! Because that’s how men feel. [/QUOTE] Must…find…these…women… ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-my-eyes-are-up-here/350277/20 "2006-03-29T15:22:25Z")
[QUOTE=Mr Bus Guy] Must…find…these…women… [/QUOTE] _takes out notepad and pen_ yes..please…tell us this where this Garden of Eden lies…