# Hey, relax... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 29, 2016, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169 "2016-07-29T04:25:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/1 "2016-07-29T04:25:18Z")
Just relax. Let me tell you why… ---
**Author:** ![madsircool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madsircool/32/3432_2.png) [@madsircool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madsircool)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/2 "2016-07-29T04:34:44Z")
Nurse Ratchett? ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/3 "2016-07-29T04:45:57Z")
Duuuuuuuude,…sweeeeeeeeeeeet. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [July 29, 2016, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/4 "2016-07-29T13:05:31Z")
You gonna bogart that thing?.. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/5 "2016-07-30T00:49:33Z")
…don’t do it When you want to go to it ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/6 "2016-07-30T02:36:14Z")
Thanks. I feel better already. ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/7 "2016-07-30T02:48:47Z")
Uncle Jack? Is that you? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/8 "2016-07-30T03:10:03Z")
> [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](#): > > …don’t do it > When you want to go to it I thought it was ‘‘when you want to go through it.’’ _googles_ > [@](#): > > Relax don’t do it > When you want to suck to it > Relax don’t do it (love) > When you want to come :eek: I always thought this song was about abstinence. Seriously. Apparently it’s about anal sex. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/9 "2016-07-30T06:13:39Z")
This thread is not about anal sex. Don’t worry. Relax… ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 6:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/10 "2016-07-30T06:48:13Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > This thread is not about anal sex. Don’t worry. Relax… Perhaps you would be kind enough to first provide some information? Just the basic facts would probably be sufficient. Can you pin down exactly what’s bothering you? ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 7:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/11 "2016-07-30T07:32:55Z")
The information _is_ the information. Don’t worry. Pinning down is not natural, and hurts, so … no. Relax… ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 9:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/12 "2016-07-30T09:00:40Z")
> [@Riemann](#): > > Perhaps you would be kind enough to first provide some information? > Just the basic facts would probably be sufficient. > Can you pin down exactly what’s bothering you? > [@Isamu](#): > > The information _is_ the information. Don’t worry. > Pinning down is not natural, and hurts, so … no. Relax… So it doesn’t hurt, ok. It feels like you’re disappearing into the distance - Like a ship far off at sea, where all I can see is the smoke above the horizon. The volume of what you’re saying is rising and falling. I can see that you’re trying to tell me something, but I can’t hear anything. It reminds me of when I was a kid and I got really sick with a fever - My hands swelled up to twice their usual size, almost like balloons. It kind of feels like that again right now. I can’t really explain it, you probably wouldn’t understand. I’m not usually like this. I have become agreeably insensate. Anyway, I’ll try to relax and play a guitar solo now. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 9:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/13 "2016-07-30T09:53:25Z")
This thread makes me…jittery. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 12:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/14 "2016-07-30T12:16:22Z")
Don’t make me angry. You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry-- no, don’t tell me to relax! Stop! Oh, now you’ve done it! OG SMASH! ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/15 "2016-07-30T13:33:13Z")
I could hear this clear over in another thread. What on earth are you people doing in here? ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/16 "2016-07-30T14:26:01Z")
> [@CheshireKat](#): > > I could hear this clear over in another thread. What on earth are you people doing in here? Not anal sex. So far that’s all I’ve got. ---
**Author:** ![Riemann](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/riemann/32/3133_2.png) [@Riemann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Riemann)\ **Post date:** [July 30, 2016, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/17 "2016-07-30T14:59:05Z")
> [@Spice\_Weasel](#): > > Not anal sex. So far that’s all I’ve got. Don’t knock it, my ex-wife would have gravitated to this thread on that basis alone. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2016, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-relax/761169/18 "2016-08-02T04:56:08Z")
Thanks; I’m so relaxed, I don’t care if I’m the only one to post here in days… …c’mon in. I’ve got a pitcher of margaritas with bitters and limes added. And tortilla chips with PB&J on 'em (mmmmmmm…)…