# Hey, RTFirefly! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 5, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652 "2001-01-05T23:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/1 "2001-01-05T23:55:30Z")
“What has happened to your nose?” “I’ve just returned from Rome.” “What? Whatwhatwhat?” [sub]NOTE: If anyone else gets what this thread is about, feel free to join in. If you don’t get it, just leave quietly because we’re not gonna explain![/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/2 "2001-01-06T00:03:17Z")
Hiya friends, Ralph Spoilsport, Ralph Spoilsport Motors, the world’s largest new used and used Broadway dealership. Ralph Spoilsport Motors here in the city of … Emphasyma. Let’s just look at the extras on this fabulous new car … ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/3 "2001-01-06T02:13:45Z")
"…Wire wheel spoke fenders, two way sneeze through wind vents, star studded mud guards, sponge coated edible steering column, chrome fender dents and factory air conditioned air from our fully factory equipped air conditioned factory. It’s a beautiful car friends with doors to match. Birch’s blacklist says this automobile was stolen…" ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/4 "2001-01-06T13:27:28Z")
" … but for you, dear friends, a complete price, only two ninety five HUNDRED dollars, in easy money payments, once a week, twice a week and never on Sundays!" ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/5 "2001-01-06T14:06:54Z")
Oil from Canada, gold from Mexico, geese from the neighbors’ backyard, boom-boom. Corn from the Indians, tobacco from the Indians, Dakota from the Indians, New Delhi from the Indians… ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/6 "2001-01-06T18:41:29Z")
All out for Fort Stinkin’ Desert! ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/7 "2001-01-06T19:20:05Z")
The pyramid is opening! Which one? The one with the ever-widening hole in it! ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2001, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/8 "2001-01-06T21:24:13Z")
Oh, he’s no fun, he fell right over! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/9 "2001-01-07T01:39:03Z")
He’s coming around, folks! He’s going to be OK and ready to play Symptom Six of “Beat the Reaper!” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/10 "2001-01-07T01:44:01Z")
You bet, Dear Friends, it is going to be all right. It’s going to be all right tonight, here at the Powerhouse Church, of the Presumptuous Assumption, of the Blinding Light. (choir) O Blinding Light, O Light that Blinds, I cannot see, Look out for me! (crash) ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/11 "2001-01-07T01:48:58Z")
Antelope Freeway, One Mile. Antelope Freeway, One-Half Mile. Antelope Freeway, One-Quarter Mile. Antelope Freeway, One-Eighth Mile. Antelope Freeway, One-Sixteenth Mi/Antelope Freeway, One-Thirty-Sec/Antelope Freeway, One-Si/… ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/12 "2001-01-07T02:05:34Z")
I was born … an American I was raised … an American And I’ll die … an American In America With Armenians. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/13 "2001-01-07T16:09:44Z")
First, they had to come from towns with strange names like… Smegma! Spasmodic! Frog! And the far-flung Isles of Langerhans. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/14 "2001-01-07T16:16:06Z")
“But who were they?” “We were small, angry men with hairy faces and buring feet. We were running away from poverty, intolerance, the law, and the army.” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/15 "2001-01-07T17:01:49Z")
And we took to them! And they took to us! And what do you think they took? (chant) Oil from Canada! Gold from Mexico! Geese from the neightbor’s back yard, boom boom! Corn from the Indians! tobacco from the Indians! Dakota from the Indians! New Jersey from the Indians! New Hampshire from the Indians! New England from the Indians! New Delhi from the Indians! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/16 "2001-01-07T18:02:51Z")
**Indonesia for the Indonesians!** Ask the cop on the corner, ask the cop on the rooftop, ask the cop in the woodpile, ask the cop that’s knocking on your back door… ::knock knock:: Go ahead, ask him! Ok, er… Mister policeman, what makes America great? It’s candied apples and ponies with dapples, that you can ride all day. It’s girls with pimples and cripples with dimples, that just won’t go away. It’s spics and whops and niggers and kikes with noses as long as your arm. It’s mics and chinks and gooks and geeks, and honkies… that never even left the farm! ::rubber bulb type squeaking bicycle horn:: That’s what makes America great. And don’t forget… Abraham Lincoln didn’t die in vain… He died in Washington DC! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/17 "2001-01-07T19:21:38Z")
“Ask the postman, ask the mailman, ask the milkman, white with fooaaamm…” ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/18 "2001-01-07T20:08:39Z")
Los Angeles…he walks again by night… ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/19 "2001-01-07T20:55:10Z")
Relentlessly… Ruthlessly… (“I wonder where Ruth is…”) Doggedly… Toward his weekly meeting with - the Unknown! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/20 "2001-01-07T21:01:07Z")
he’s a spy and a girl-delighter, Orgy firefighter, he’s a student like you. "If you’re lookin’ for a captain of the ringball team, you can bet, he won’t, be there; you’ll find him poppin’ off at Pop’s sodium shop, trailin’ a Red, with red haiiir… Shoobeedooah - Peorgie Tirebiter, just a student like you…" (“Like me???”) “Just a student like you…” (“Stop singing and finish your homework!”) “Just a student like youooooooo…” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652.md?page=2)