# Hey, RTFirefly! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 5, 2001, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652 "2001-01-05T23:55:30Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2001, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/21 "2001-01-07T21:26:11Z")
You got a little problem here. Well, I don’t know why you people seem to think this is magic, it’s just this little chromium switch here. Ah, you people are so superstitious… ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 12:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/22 "2001-01-08T00:02:22Z")
It all began innocently enough on Tuesday. I was sitting in my office on that drizzly afternoon listening to the monotonous stacatto of rain on my desk top and reading my name on the glass of my office door, “Regnad Kcin”. My secretary lay snoring on the floor, her long beautiful gams pinioned under the couch. I didn’t hear him enter, but my nostrils flared at the smell of his perfume… Pyramid Patchoulli. There was only one joker in L.A. sensitive enough to wear that scent and I had to find out who he was. ::cut organ music:: Good afternoon Mister Danger, I’m Rocky Rococco. Thanks half pint, you just saved me a lot of investigative work. Maybe yes, maybe no. Do you know what… this is? ::rustling paper: (I had to think for a minute. What cool game was he playing?) Uh… That’s a brown paper bag. That’s correct, now look inside Mister Danger. ::rustling paper:: What do you see? That’s easy, that’s a pickle. Very good, now I think you’re ready for this! ::clinking sound:: That’s nothing but a two bit ring from a Crackerback Jox. I’ll sell it to you for five thousand dollars. Hah! What kind of a chump do you take me for? First class! That tarnished piece of tin is worthless! Worthless? Hah, hah, hah ::coughing:: ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/23 "2001-01-08T02:37:28Z")
Out of the fog, into the smog (cough, cough)… At Fourth and Drucker he turns left. At Drucker and Fourth he turns right. He crosses MacArthur Park and walks into a great sandstone building. _ow! my nose!_ ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/24 "2001-01-08T03:00:38Z")
:;;;;;; the pyramid again? :::::::: 3½¢ Power and the certainty of rightfulness are an appalling combination! ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/25 "2001-01-08T04:22:11Z")
Jaundice it is! Give him the antidote, Judy! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/26 "2001-01-08T11:19:27Z")
According to my careful prosthesis, you’ve got The Plague. ---
**Author:** ![system](https://global.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/original/2X/e/e489c3b7d8fce19c4b355dd4fc3f88cc39c34b87.png) [@system](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/system)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/27 "2001-01-08T21:42:28Z")
{W. C. Fields voice} No, no, no my boy. You’re confused. The sun’s not going down–the horizon is moving up! {/W. C. Fields voice} ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/28 "2001-01-08T21:49:03Z")
Doctor, give him something for his cough! All right, here’s a quarter. That’s not much. It’s not much of a cough. ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2001, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/29 "2001-01-08T22:31:08Z")
I went down to the Chemical Corn Exchange bank the other day. Gave 'em three ears of corn, they gave me three beakers filled with chemicals. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 1:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/30 "2001-01-09T01:15:31Z")
“Injuns! Draw the wagons into a circle!” “Why do you always do that??” We get better reception that way. Say, mind if we put our antenna on yonder peak?" “That’s our holy mountain.” “This is our holy antenna.” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/31 "2001-01-09T01:17:33Z")
“Toad away, toad away, toad away, toad away, where do you go when you’re toad away?” ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/32 "2001-01-09T01:18:12Z")
Ah, grubs again. Grumble, grumble. ---
**Author:** ![Short](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b38774/32.png) [@Short](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Short)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/33 "2001-01-09T02:18:41Z")
“Pass the lord and praise the ammunition…Pass the lord and praise the ammunition… The veteran’s tap dance administration is proud to present Forward (knock, knock) into the past.” “Where the vegetables are green and you can pee right into the stream…” “The icebox is being unlock by the president of the Armenian Medical Association, under whose careful supervision these toxins are being administered.” ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/34 "2001-01-09T23:25:04Z")
If you lived where I live And I lived where you live Then we’d live where pigs live In trees. Yes! We all live in trees! Like pigs! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2001, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/35 "2001-01-09T23:29:42Z")
“Hey, what’re we stopping for?” “Are we in Goshen yet?” “Can’t go no further, this is Injun territory!” "Well then, **it’s Treaty Time!** (fanfare) ---
**Author:** ![Zenster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/cdc98d/32.png) [@Zenster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zenster)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 12:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/36 "2001-01-10T00:42:40Z")
My fellow Indians, speaking for the great white father in Washington and _all_ the American people, let me say how much we respect you savages for your native ability to adapt and survive in whatever Godforsaken wilderness we move you too… Out there… Sign here. ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2001, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/37 "2001-01-10T21:18:14Z")
“My fellow settlers, we stand here at the edge of civilization, on the banks of the Mississippi River, looking west at our destiny. What may appear to the fainthearted as a limitless expanse of Godforsaken wilderness is in reality a golden opportunity for God-fearing people like ourselves and our families and our children, and the generations a-coming, to carve a new life out of the American Indian.” ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/38 "2001-01-11T00:36:55Z")
“I still owe a lot of money for the airport.” “You owe a lot people. A lot of money. For a lot of airports.” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2001, 11:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/39 "2001-01-11T11:16:57Z")
“You’ll never work in this town again, Tirebiter!” “_What_ town?” ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2001, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652/40 "2001-01-17T02:27:18Z")
Spreak Engrish, troop! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-rtfirefly/48652.md?page=3)