# hey, she was 18. yes i checked first. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 25, 2005, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631 "2005-01-25T19:37:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/81 "2005-01-26T14:02:07Z")
Ok, this may be legal. But I still find it creepy. (Not that I’m saying the story is true or anything.) ---
**Author:** ![missbunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/76d3ee/32.png) [@missbunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missbunny)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/82 "2005-01-26T15:34:55Z")
One thing I don’t understand is that Jose says he knows this girl as “another high school kid” but says he’s not a teacher or in any way connected to the high school. That makes me believe that this girl is one of his daughter’s friends or classmates. My vocabulary is failing me; I can’t think of any word to describe such a situation but “gross.” By the way, Jose, just in case this fantastic tale is really (more or less) true: if you think you are really going to continue seeing this girl - I mean literally; seeing her around, in a social context - and nobody is going to figure out there’s something going on between the two of you, you’ve got a LOT to learn about young girls and their big mouths and the fact that it’s very very easy to notice when two people are conducting a clandestine affair. Anyone who has ever worked in an office with two colleagues who pretend to be “just friends” when everyone can see they’re doing the horizontal mambo will confirm this. If anyone does put two and two together, your “name” in town probably isn’t going to be the same “name” you currently enjoy for much longer. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/83 "2005-01-26T15:54:03Z")
She’s going to _smile_ about it when she’s at her _sorority_!!! /bullshit meter explodes ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/84 "2005-01-26T16:05:29Z")
> [@AwSnappity](#): > > This was what made me decide that the story was fake. Think about this: the girl is a virgin. Her vagina is probably really tight, because it (most likely) hasn’t had anything as wide as a penis in it. Now, it probably hurt the first time, like it does for most girls. According to **jose** , they had sex at least three times. I’m not a virgin, and I haven’t been for a while, but if I have sex two times in a row, I start to get a little sore. That’s just twice. I would think that this girl would _not_ be able to lose her viriginity and then have sex twice more in a short period of time–it’d hurt too much. Her giney would be sore as hell. And the fact that she _orgasmed_ on the third time, well, that’s just way too bogus for me. > > I suppose it _is_ possible that she was already proficient with a vibrator, and her choo-choo was already wide and cavernous and waiting for the pleasure that only **jose** ’s manhood could provide. But still, I’m willing to bet that constant jamming with a cock is different from the sweet sweet vibrator love, different enough that she would still experience a bit of pain upon her first time. Not having used a vibrator before my cherry was popped, I can’t say whether this is the case or not. Is a vibrator’s gentle humming rhythms enough to prepare you for dickfest 2005? What say ye, ladies? I was more doubtful of the 45 year old train being able to pull into the station several times in a short period of time. _waits for the numerous 45 year old engineers to defend this possibility_😛 ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/85 "2005-01-26T16:23:16Z")
> [@AwSnappity](#): > > This was what made me decide that the story was fake. Think about this: the girl is a virgin. Her vagina is probably really tight, because it (most likely) hasn’t had anything as wide as a penis in it. Now, it probably hurt the first time, like it does for most girls. According to **jose** , they had sex at least three times. I’m not a virgin, and I haven’t been for a while, but if I have sex two times in a row, I start to get a little sore. That’s just twice. I would think that this girl would _not_ be able to lose her viriginity and then have sex twice more in a short period of time–it’d hurt too much. Her giney would be sore as hell. And the fact that she _orgasmed_ on the third time, well, that’s just way too bogus for me. Yup. Even if the first time was with the aforementioned… wait, I need to go back and look… “patience, tenderness,” yadayadayada. Most girls do not enjoy their first time all that much. Not enough to orgasm, at any rate. Afterward there’s also a little blood, which tends to be off-putting. Supposing there was a second time, afterward I’m assuming she wanted a Motrin more than a third go round. Lo siento mucho, **Jose**. But for most women, the first time is something we just want to get through with as little discomfort as possible. It doesn’t go from modest virgin to raging nympho in one go. So yeah, I’m calling bullshit, too. > [@](#): > > I suppose it _is_ possible that she was already proficient with a vibrator, and her choo-choo was already wide and cavernous and waiting for the pleasure that only **jose** ’s manhood could provide. But still, I’m willing to bet that constant jamming with a cock is different from the sweet sweet vibrator love, different enough that she would still experience a bit of pain upon her first time. Not having used a vibrator before my cherry was popped, I can’t say whether this is the case or not. Is a vibrator’s gentle humming rhythms enough to prepare you for dickfest 2005? What say ye, ladies? I don’t think so. No friction, and she’d probably stop when she met resistance. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/86 "2005-01-26T16:30:12Z")
> [@Wile E](#): > > I was more doubtful of the 45 year old train being able to pull into the station several times in a short period of time. > _waits for the numerous 45 year old engineers to defend this possibility_😛 Not me. I can testify that there’s more bang for the buck these days than when I was eighteen, but that’s in the duration category rather than the completed events category. Eighteen years old? Sure, three times in the morning and another three at night, on an off day. Now… er… now it’s all about the quality. 'Cause the count damn sure isn’t happening anymore. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/87 "2005-01-26T18:21:30Z")
Maybe he means she had an orgasm during foreplay? Perhaps if he was say, 25 and they had been friends for a long time, but 45 and 18? And she chased him? Unless he looks like George Clooney, I doubt it. ---
**Author:** ![wisernow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@wisernow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wisernow)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 8:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/88 "2005-01-26T20:47:59Z")
**jose** is being bashed and attacked without respite. What I found amusing is the way the thread has evolved. The first few posts were in line with the type of response that **jose** was perhaps looking for. The earlier replies ranged from some questioning the validity of sex between people with such a wide age difference to others giving him a slap on the shoulder and a wink. However, once someone expressed the possibility of the story being fake, the thread seemed to speed up quite a bit and suddenly everyone was having the same doubts and thought that he was bragging, and ganged up on him. I don’t think **jose** wanted the opinion of people on **whether** they **believed** his story or not. While unlikely, what **jose** has narrated is not imposibble, and so he deserves the benefit of doubt. The response to the op should be based on the premise that the op is true and the answers should then be in direct correlation to the questions asked. Reactions expressing incredulity of the op and the high likelihood that it is fake should, IMO, be done by starting a new thread - maybe in the pit if it is felt that it is a lie. ---
**Author:** ![SpartanDC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b2d939/32.png) [@SpartanDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpartanDC)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/89 "2005-01-26T20:55:44Z")
> [@wisernow](#): > > **jose** is being bashed and attacked without respite. What I found amusing is the way the thread has evolved. The first few posts were in line with the type of response that **jose** was perhaps looking for. The earlier replies ranged from some questioning the validity of sex between people with such a wide age difference to others giving him a slap on the shoulder and a wink. However, once someone expressed the possibility of the story being fake, the thread seemed to speed up quite a bit and suddenly everyone was having the same doubts and thought that he was bragging, and ganged up on him. > I don’t think **jose** wanted the opinion of people on **whether** they **believed** his story or not. While unlikely, what **jose** has narrated is not imposibble, and so he deserves the benefit of doubt. The response to the op should be based on the premise that the op is true and the answers should then be in direct correlation to the questions asked. > Reactions expressing incredulity of the op and the high likelihood that it is fake should, IMO, be done by starting a new thread - maybe in the pit if it is felt that it is a lie. Skepticism of extraordinary romantic encounters has sort of been _de rigeur_ on the board ever since the Pyjama Pants Girl incident (which I might add, I was the first to mention, and spell correctly! Credit where credit is due, people 😃 ). It’s not helping that **jose** pretty much disappeared the instant the credibility of the OP came into question. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/90 "2005-01-26T20:59:20Z")
A Pit thread has been started. I don’t really see that people are tearing the OP to shreds. This is an intelligent group of people. As a result, most of them have a rather high range of cynicism. The OP rang untrue to several posters, and they’ve said as much. Threads tend to take on a life of their own. As a result, they sometimes backfire and don’t always have the desired response. Are you saying that since this thread is in MPSIMS, unless people have something nice to say, they shouldn’t say anything at all? I really don’t think that’s going to happen. Add to that, the OP has not been back to explain, and the cynicism is going to increase. ---
**Author:** ![5que](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/3bc359/32.png) [@5que](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5que)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/91 "2005-01-26T21:32:19Z")
You know, there was once this 18 year old that wanted to have sex with me. So I started lifting weights in the garage and smoking pot. Then we were going to have sex, but she was a virgin, so I went into the kitchen, and the secretly gay Marine next door shot me in the head. ---
**Author:** ![JillGat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9fc29f/32.png) [@JillGat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JillGat)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2005, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/92 "2005-01-26T21:39:20Z")
[[While unlikely, what jose has narrated is not imposibble, and so he deserves the benefit of doubt. The response to the op should be based on the premise that the op is true and the answers should then be in direct correlation to the questions asked.]] Okay, we will assume it’s true. Then we can stick to: 1. Questioning the wisdom of him bragging like a 16 year old under the guise of wanting our opinions on whether he is a “scoundrel” or not. 2. Add the cheating-on-his-wife-with-a-teenager detail to his story (he forgot to add that part, apparently) when making up our minds what category to put him in. 3. I don’t think there’s any rule against continuing to have some fun here. **Jose** started it… nyah nyah. 4. **Eve** , I loved the ee. cummings remark ---
**Author:** ![Dijon\_Warlock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a9a28c/32.png) [@Dijon\_Warlock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dijon_Warlock)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/93 "2005-01-27T03:23:46Z")
> [@5que](#): > > You know, there was once this 18 year old that wanted to have sex with me. So I started lifting weights in the garage and smoking pot. Then we were going to have sex, but she was a virgin, so I went into the kitchen, and the secretly gay Marine next door shot me in the head. I hate it when that happens. ---
**Author:** ![Flamsterette\_X](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/41988e/32.png) [@Flamsterette\_X](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flamsterette_X)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/94 "2005-01-27T05:39:19Z")
Whether it’s true or not, I’m skeeved out for all the reasons someone posted earlier. Holy age difference! (for one thing) Sounds like something I might read on [Group Hug](http://grouphug.us). Only it’s not there. Yes, I checked. ---
**Author:** ![buns3000](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c89c15/32.png) [@buns3000](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buns3000)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/95 "2005-01-27T06:31:09Z")
> [@PunditLisa](#): > > Upon reading this, my bullshitometer went off the charts. My bullshitometer rarely fails. I’m convinced that the only “hot” teenager who exists in this story is the one residing in Jose’s fertile imagination. I had the same reaction. Like, as if! I can’t believe anybody would believe this. Would love to say more but this isn’t the Pit. ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/96 "2005-01-27T06:40:59Z")
Well, if it happened to Stiffler’s Mom . . . Tripler Please, won’t somone think of the MILFs? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 8:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/97 "2005-01-27T08:57:14Z")
> [@buns3000](#): > > Would love to say more but this isn’t the Pit. [Here ya go.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=298936) ---
**Author:** ![Eleusis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f4b2a3/32.png) [@Eleusis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleusis)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/98 "2005-01-27T11:25:41Z")
Hey **Jose** … Tell me more about about her ass. Was it round and firm? Did she shave her sweet young hoo-hoo-nanny but just around the edges? How did she taste? Sweeter than carmel butter milk? Was she tighter than a FleshLight? Did she quiver oh so subtly when she enjoyed her First Orgasm Ever during the third donging? Did you fuck her after you boffed her? Quickly please, I’m almost there and this 3 hour pay per view is almost ready to expire. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/99 "2005-01-27T12:00:57Z")
Assuming the story as told is true, I don’t think “scoundrel” is quite the word. The action itself suggests questionable judgment, but posting the details afterwards is in extremely poor taste. But to lighten the mood, here’s a joke for you: > [@](#): > > An 80 year old man went into the confessional and told the priest the following: > > “Father, I am an 80 year old man, I’m married, I have 4 children and 11 grandchildren. Last night I strayed and had an affair with two 18 year old girls. We partied and made love all night long.” > > The priest said, “My son, when was the last time you were at confession?” > > The old man said, “I have never been to confession, I’m Jewish.” > > The priest said, “Then why are you here telling me this?” > > The old man said, “Father, I’m telling everyone!” ---
**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2005, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631/100 "2005-01-27T17:25:08Z")
Half way through this thread I had to run down to the vending machines and buy myself a Coke so I’d have something to spew out my nose. I’ve gone through two monitors and a keyboard on this one. Seriously folks, I can’t say when I’ve enjoyed a thread more. I mean, I have enjoyed other threads more, it’s just that I can’t say when . . . I mean, \*I \* know when, 'cause I was there, but I’m not able to relate it at this time. . . it’s a phobia, kind of, that keeps me from revealing chronology or duration. Okay, actually, it’s more a “contractual thing” than an actual “phobia”. . . or perhaps a more accurate term would be “restraining order”. So while, yeah, I have enjoyed other threads more, I’m not presently at liberty to divulge the circumstances under which I enjoyed them. However, I think it would have been better if there had been more of them, like a gang, and if he’d fought unsuccessfully to protect his honor. See, then he could follow up with a bunch of other threads describing how he tracked them down, one by one, and wreaked his terrible revenge for the horrific night of teenaged snuggle-bunnies to which he’d been subjected. Kind of a serial, you know? . . . unless it’s all true, in which case I take everything back, with apologies. Except for the Coke part. I did go get a Coke. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-she-was-18-yes-i-checked-first/286631.md?page=6)