# Hey! The Fortune Cookie People Are Insulting Me! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 8, 2006, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930 "2006-06-08T18:42:59Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/21 "2006-06-10T00:29:42Z")
Today’s fortune > [@](#): > > There’s a secret romance blooming! > Go for it, in spite of your hesitation. Yeah, I’ll just get rid of this before Mrs. Cheesesteak gets home, thanks. ---
**Author:** ![Mindfield](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mindfield/32/19759_2.png) [@Mindfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mindfield)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/22 "2006-06-10T01:23:20Z")
> [@blinkingblinking](#): > > How could you insult me, if you do not know me ? Am I being whooshed or did I forget the \ tags again? ---
**Author:** ![Upgrading\_to\_Critical](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/848f3c/32.png) [@Upgrading\_to\_Critical](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Upgrading_to_Critical)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/23 "2006-06-10T01:30:36Z")
I wonder, during the revolution, did fortune cookies in China get converted to quotes from the Little Red Book? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/24 "2006-06-10T07:55:19Z")
I thought I was being insulted by a mural at the subway station in Williamsburg this evening. It said “Use Less.” ---
**Author:** ![Taber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac91a4/32.png) [@Taber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taber)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/25 "2006-06-10T09:34:44Z")
> [@sniperfang](#): > > :)“You are the world’s greatest man.” 🙂 …in bed? ---
**Author:** ![sniperfang](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/58956e/32.png) [@sniperfang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sniperfang)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/26 "2006-06-10T10:41:59Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > …in bed? Yes, but that’s like saying water is wet. Duh. They shoulda saved the paper. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bites_when_provoked/32/18073_2.png) [@Bites\_When\_Provoked](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bites_When_Provoked)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/27 "2006-06-10T13:53:39Z")
I got one once that said: _Your face is your fortune. God help you._ I kept it on the fridge for the longest time because I thought it was the funniest thing ever to come out of a fortune cookie, but somewhere in moving house I lost it. ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [June 10, 2006, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/28 "2006-06-10T17:40:08Z")
Just yesterday, my friend opened up his Sobe (tea) and his fortune said: Fortune does not smile upon you this day… Yesterday: his neighbors set up some weird drainage thing so that their water would drain on his and his mom’s land, mom called the cops, cops fined neighbors, neighbors shot his irish wolf hound. ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/29 "2006-06-11T02:27:07Z")
Well, fortune doesn’t seem to have been smiling on the Irish Wolfhound, anyway. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Pixiesnix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@Pixiesnix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixiesnix)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 5:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/30 "2006-06-11T05:18:06Z")
“You will live in interesting times.” Cookie bastard. ---
**Author:** ![Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Hey\_It\_s\_That\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hey_It_s_That_Guy)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/31 "2006-06-11T06:13:09Z")
The last fortune I got seriously said “Never smell the inside of a man’s hat.” It’s good advice, y’know. ---
**Author:** ![Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Bambi\_Hassenpfeffer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bambi_Hassenpfeffer)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/32 "2006-06-11T19:13:29Z")
I have one I carry in my wallet, cause it seems like it was written by my secret biographer: > [@](#): > > Never accept that others know better than you. And I never have. Some call it pigheadedness, but I just say that the fortune cookie told me so. ---
**Author:** ![MetroGnome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8e7dd6/32.png) [@MetroGnome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MetroGnome)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2006, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/33 "2006-06-11T20:11:51Z")
My favorite and most accurate was “you will find small fortune.” It was a self-fulfilling prophesy! ---
**Author:** ![AuntPam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@AuntPam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AuntPam)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/34 "2006-06-12T01:20:13Z")
When I was working for the ABC Radio Network in the 1970s, there was a sportscaster who flew in from the Midwest every weekend to do his announcing. He was CLUELESS. About everything. Seriously, it was dangerous to let him out of the building without a minder. New Yorkers being what they are, he was soon the butt of many great practical jokes. My favorite was the night that the engineers and director on his show got hold of his fortune cookie in advance, extracted the real fortune, and inserted one that said “Where’s the #%$@\* TIP, Round-eyes!?!” He didn’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Corporate\_Hippie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/65b543/32.png) [@Corporate\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corporate_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/35 "2006-06-12T01:43:33Z")
> [@tashabot](#): > > I got one that just said “It tastes sweet.” I was like “WTF, it’s a cookie, of course it tastes sweet. Stupid fortune.” > ~Tasha I got that one too! I still have it in my wallet. Other fortune cookie gems I’ve encountered are “You will get some new clothes” and “happiness is a bouncing ball.” ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/36 "2006-06-12T02:12:06Z")
I got one that said “This is the year when ingenuity will stand high on the list.” OK. Vague waffle talk. Nothing too ominous there. Except for one thing - I found it on my desk at work in place of a fortune I had been saving that said something sweet and coincidentally romantic on the day I got it. (I don’t remember what it said, but it wasn’t about ingenuity! It was about romantic success!) So someone replaced my sentimentally saved fortune with a vague waffly fortune which I now treasure (as in… leave on my desk where it may well be nicked or replaced with a new odd fortune) in its place. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2006, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930/37 "2006-06-12T03:02:14Z")
My best one was “You are doomed to be happy in wedlock” What the christ does “doomed to be happy” mean? Shouldn’t it say I’m blessed to be happy or something to that effect? I have it taped to my door and still laugh at it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-the-fortune-cookie-people-are-insulting-me/359930.md?page=1)