# "Hey there Fat Ass" **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 16, 2005, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357 "2005-11-16T18:42:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 9:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/41 "2005-11-17T09:59:23Z")
How about if he had said, “Wow! How do you stay so trim and hot-looking eating high calorie stuff like that?” Would comenting on your food be ok then? _Not trying to be snarky here. just curious._ ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/42 "2005-11-17T11:09:23Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > No one gets their panties in a bind because somebody tells a smoker she should quit. Well, _smokers_ do. I can’t count the number of times I have heard smokers complain that it is nobody’s damn business if they want to continue to smoke and to please stop trying to educate them about the evils of smoking (which they know about anyhow). To the OP: I would have had the exact same reaction you did, having approximately the same amount of positive self-esteem you describe. And yes, I know it is my job to work on that, etc etc. ---
**Author:** ![Mint\_Julep](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bc79bd/32.png) [@Mint\_Julep](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mint_Julep)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/43 "2005-11-17T15:58:57Z")
> [@Mac Guffin](#): > > How about if he had said, “Wow! How do you stay so trim and hot-looking eating high calorie stuff like that?” > > Would comenting on your food be ok then? > > _Not trying to be snarky here. just curious._ No, it would still get on my nerves if the comment had been worded in a somewhat complimentary way. Plus, I think he meant no offense in what he did say. ---
**Author:** ![Excalibre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@Excalibre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Excalibre)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/44 "2005-11-17T16:13:29Z")
> [@lorene](#): > > Well, _smokers_ do. I can’t count the number of times I have heard smokers complain that it is nobody’s damn business if they want to continue to smoke and to please stop trying to educate them about the evils of smoking (which they know about anyhow). Not me. I wish I had more folks like **Diogenes** around to tell me that smoking isn’t good for me. For you see, I didn’t find out about that whole “smoking causes lung cancer, heart attacks, and emphysema, and makes the baby Jesus cry” thing until this morning! I’m blind, you know, so I can’t read the warnings on the package or see the obnoxious PSAs on TV. And I’m deaf, so I’ve never heard PSAs on the radio either, and I didn’t go to elementary school, so I missed all the drug-and-alcohol campaigning. Also, I’ve spent my entire life living in a cave in the mountains of Nepal, with no communication with the outside world except through kind Sherpas (and let me tell you, it’s hard to find a Sherpa who speaks sign language!) who relay messages for me back and forth to the SDMB. So you see, people like me (and trust me, there’s lots of them!) who are blind and deaf and completely cut off from the outside world living in a cave with nothing but bread, water, and cigarettes are often completely unaware that smoking is bad for our health. Thus, it’s considered a kindness if nonsmokers take the time and stop and let us know that cigarettes are going to kill us. Unsolicited advice about what we should do from strangers is welcome, and I think most folks would agree that we appreciate it when someone like **Diogenes** takes time out of his day to tell us what to do. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/45 "2005-11-17T16:24:11Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I don’t understand why it’s considered so rude to comment on somebody’s weight anyway. I don’t mean name-calling or mocking, but expressing concern or interest or offering advice. Why are we all supposed to pretend that we don’t notice that fat people are fat? I don’t think that giving fat people dietary advice is any more rude than encouraging smokers to quit or (to make an analogy to the granola bar) telling them that “light” cigarettes are really no better than the regular ones. It **is** rude. How about someone in a wheelchair? We _do_ notice if someone is disabled. How about people with skin problems. Kind of noticable too. Would you consider it okay to make a general comment about any condition just to prove that you’re not pretending not to see it? I recently lost about 35 lbs on Atkins. Once I began to lose weight, people would ask if I was sick. WTH??? Because someone notices something doesn’t give them the right to make a comment. What if I had been sick? I have a girlfriend who can’t gain weight - some clown always has to make a “concerned” comment about anoerexia or bulemia. How dare they!!! I smoke - I’m an almost 48 year old adult who works hard, pays taxes and I’m familiar with the warnings about my habit. Strangers who give me “advice” about cigarettes are annoying. Who the hell are you to intrude on my choice? Why would any stranger presume to be the voice of reason that an individual will heed? The presumption that one must be educated by “more enlightened” strangers is absurd. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/46 "2005-11-17T16:31:20Z")
**jali** , smoke all you like and eat what you want, but anyone who uses multiple ?? and !! needs a slap. 😛 ::_makes note about over-sensitive people to avoid in future_:: ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/47 "2005-11-17T16:32:41Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > I agree and I’ll add… Why comment on anybody’s choice of food? That to me is akin to commenting on one’s choice of colour of underware. > > WTF is it anyone’s business what someone is eating (or not eating) and when? :mad: Wow. I think that’s an astoundingly weird attitude. First of all, I’d never make a comment about the calories in someone’s food, so I can dig where the OP is coming from. I think “calories” is a topic associated with dieting and weight-loss, not eating. But, I consider FOOD a topic of coversation like “what did you watch on TV last night?” not “what color is your underwear?” I mean, I’m going out to eat in about 15 minutes with 8 co-workers. That’s a firendly, talkative atmosphere where we see what each other are eating. We’re not having a lingerie party. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/48 "2005-11-17T16:36:29Z")
> [@Mac Guffin](#): > > How about if he had said, “Wow! How do you stay so trim and hot-looking eating high calorie stuff like that?” > > Would comenting on your food be ok then? > > _Not trying to be snarky here. just curious._ Exactly. Or what if you said, “Gee! That looks good!”. Is that out of bounds as well? Our OP already apologized for overreacting. I think the rest of the people who think food should never be discussed should never eat in front of people. ---
**Author:** ![lorene](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/65b543/32.png) [@lorene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lorene)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/49 "2005-11-17T18:18:19Z")
> [@Kalhoun](#): > > I think the rest of the people who think food should never be discussed should never eat in front of people. I tried that for a while. I used to have a genuine social phobia about eating in front of others. Come to find out, it makes you a little _more_ noticeable if you are the only one at the table not eating. ---
**Author:** ![jali](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecae2f/32.png) [@jali](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jali)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/50 "2005-11-17T18:23:02Z")
> [@Malacandra](#): > > **jali** , smoke all you like and eat what you want, but anyone who uses multiple ?? and !! needs a slap. 😛 > > ::_makes note about over-sensitive people to avoid in future_:: Why??? (he-he-he) ---
**Author:** ![phungi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phungi/32/395_2.png) [@phungi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phungi)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2005, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357/51 "2005-11-17T18:24:38Z")
pick an opportune time to walk by this guy and share [one of these](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=345084)… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-there-fat-ass/331357.md?page=2)