# Hey US Gov't Isn't About Time You Gave Us Our Automatic Weapons Back? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 18, 2001, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224 "2001-10-18T15:36:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/21 "2001-10-18T17:01:20Z")
**Gadarene** : Although I have never actually _seen_ one of these “garden gnomes” face to little face, I have heard the stories about them. Enough to give even a strong man the willies. ---
**Author:** ![beagledave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/6de8d8/32.png) [@beagledave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beagledave)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/22 "2001-10-18T17:10:00Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Ukulele Ike \* > \*\ ***Gadarene** : Although I have never actually _seen_ one of these “garden gnomes” face to little face, I have heard the stories about them. Enough to give even a strong man the willies. \*\* Don’t fuck with the [Evil Commie Garden Gnomes](http://www.jumpingpenguins.com/ishkabibble/Old/gnomes.htm). ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/23 "2001-10-18T17:10:01Z")
Oh come on, all of you fuck off. You can’t go around making assumptions about an entire group. There is a great deal of variation and a few crazy individuals do not represent the whole. Open your minds a bit people. Don’t be so quick to pass judgement. I have met plenty of Garden Gnomes that are very peaceful and law abiding. Those damn Pink Flamingos, however… ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/24 "2001-10-18T18:17:54Z")
I guess you’re right, **Beeblebrox**. But it’s hard to get over past experiences. See, I still wake up in a cold sweat when I think about that one Garden Gnome with the swastika on his forehead singing “Helter Skelter.” ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/25 "2001-10-18T18:23:31Z")
All I know is that I’d feel a lot better if I the fucking Federal Government (a.k.a. Z.O.G., New World Order, or the Masons, not sure who is running it this year.) didn’t try to restrict the 35th Amendment in the Bill of Rights, which reads: A well-decorated lawn, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Garden Gnomes, shall not be infringed. You’ll have to pry my Garden Gnome from my cold dead fingers. ---
**Author:** ![MrVisible](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@MrVisible](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrVisible)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/26 "2001-10-18T18:49:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Beeblebrox \* > \*\*I have met plenty of Garden Gnomes that are very peaceful and law abiding. > > Those damn Pink Flamingos, however… \*\* That’s it. I am naming my band the Pinko Flamingos. ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 6:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/27 "2001-10-18T18:50:12Z")
Delivery men: “We just thought you might want this to cover up the dead hippie you just killed.” Rick: “Errrrr, that’s not a hippie. It’s a uhhhhh, garden gnome that I cracked.” Garden gnome: “That a load of crap! That’s a hippie he’s just killed. HEY EVERYONE!! HE’S JUST KILLED A HIPPIE!!” It’s a reference from _The Young Ones_ as is my sig line. ---
**Author:** ![andros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e480ec/32.png) [@andros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andros)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/28 "2001-10-18T19:13:04Z")
> [@](#): > > not sure who is running it this year I think it’s back around to the Tri-Lats this year, but don’t quote me. ---
**Author:** ![Critical1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@Critical1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Critical1)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/29 "2001-10-18T19:19:46Z")
bill steroids cause brain cancer, your posts make me think “wow this guy must have brain cancer” lay off the brain cancer will ya? ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/30 "2001-10-18T19:23:47Z")
Yeah, but Bill steroids are the ones that get you EXTRA-buff. ---
**Author:** ![Wildest\_Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Wildest\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wildest_Bill)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/31 "2001-10-18T19:24:38Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Critical1 \* > \*\*bill steroids cause brain cancer, your posts make me think “wow this guy must have brain cancer” Cite? ---
**Author:** ![SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc348/32.png) [@SpaceGhostofArrakis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpaceGhostofArrakis)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/32 "2001-10-18T19:25:14Z")
> [@](#): > > WOLVERINES! But Wolverine _isn’t_ killed by bllets! The combination of his Admantium skeleton and healing factor prevent him from being mortally wounded! Damn, I’m the only one here who reads _Ultimate X-men_, ain’t I? ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/33 "2001-10-18T19:30:22Z")
I have to agree with **WB**. I didn’t think much of it when Mr. Government Man knocked on my door and confiscated my M16, Uzi, and fragmentation grenades. But with the recent spate of anthrax mailings, I have to say I’m starting to rethink this policy, and miss these weapons more than ever. I’ve been keeping my M40A1 trained on the Mail Lady from my attic window ever since the first report of that guy in Florida who caught anthrax from a toilet seat. I’m content to iron my mail with the steam setting for now, but if she thinks she’s going to be delivering any unmarked cardboard boxes, she’s in for a surprise. Then there is that Arab kid from India or whatnot who delivers my newspaper. I called those newspaper jerks and asked if they didn’t one of those industrious Jew kids that could take over my subscription, but they said no so I had to cancel. I don’t want to get anthrax, and I can still steal the funnies from the break room at work. Resolved: I need my Uzi back! ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/34 "2001-10-18T19:30:51Z")
I thought the “Wolverines!” was in reference to _Red Dawn_. It made me laugh, anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Wildest\_Bill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Wildest\_Bill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wildest_Bill)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/35 "2001-10-18T19:31:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SpaceGhostofArrakis \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > WOLVERINES! > > But Wolverine _isn’t_ killed by bllets! The combination of his Admantium skeleton and healing factor prevent him from being mortally wounded! > > Damn, I’m the only one here who reads _Ultimate X-men_, ain’t I? \*\* Space Ghost, I think he was referring to the gorilla warfare teenagers in the movie “Red Dawn” not the untimate X-men but I could be wrong. Pld, Do you really see me going to Lousianna and Florida with a AK-47 in my hands wasting alligators, or abortion quacks? Seriously? ---
**Author:** ![Tymp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Tymp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tymp)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/36 "2001-10-18T19:32:47Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wildest Bill \* > **Cite?** BWAH HA HA HA HA Hee hee hee!! ---
**Author:** ![choosybeggar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8c91f0/32.png) [@choosybeggar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/choosybeggar)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/37 "2001-10-18T19:37:01Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by beagledave \* > \*\* > > Don’t fuck with the [Evil Commie Garden Gnomes](http://www.jumpingpenguins.com/ishkabibble/Old/gnomes.htm). \*\* [insert gratuitous Monty Python reference] Would thouse be African or European Evil Commie Garden Gnomes?[/insert gratuitous Monty Python reference] ---
**Author:** ![rushtopher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e47774/32.png) [@rushtopher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rushtopher)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/38 "2001-10-18T19:51:17Z")
Think about the implications of what you are discussing here! If we criminalize garden gnomes, only CRIMINALS will have them! ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/39 "2001-10-18T19:54:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by choosybeggar \* > Would thouse be African or European Evil Commie Garden Gnomes? I don’t know, but they probably don’t get along with the [evil Nazi groundhogs](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=15906). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224/40 "2001-10-18T20:06:02Z")
This would be the point where I stick my head in long enough to ruin a perfectly good hijacking, and say: _They were never taken in the first place_. If you’re willing to go through the rigamarole of filling out the paperwork, you can have a freeking full-auto weapon, if you want. It’ll cost you, though. The licensing and background investigations are pricy, the weapon far more so. Never-the-less, and if you’re a resident of the peoples republic of Maryland (some of the most restrictive gun laws around), I can show you to a shop that legitimately and legally sells full-auto. Go figure… The state with some of the more restrictive laws also has one of the higher concentrations of legally owned full-auto weapons. Heh! Class III ain’t cheap, but it’s not illegal, either. [sup]Why waltz when you can rock-n-roll?[/sup] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-us-govt-isnt-about-time-you-gave-us-our-automatic-weapons-back/88224.md?page=3)