# Hey, William Shatner, shut the fuck up **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 22, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813 "2000-12-22T03:52:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/1 "2000-12-22T03:52:55Z")
You suck. You suck. You horrible, horrible man. Your commercials for [priceline.com](http://priceline.com) are more obnoxious and imbecilic than a room full of preschoolers strung out on meth. Did I mention that you suck? Hey, Will! I! Finally! Found! A! Way! To! Punctuate! Your! Sentences! Pigfucker! Stop making commercials. Stop being on television. For the love of all that is holy, stop writing new TV shows and novels. Thank! You! Very! Fucking! Much! ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/2 "2000-12-22T04:33:02Z")
Your wish has been granted-he isn’t making anymore. Would you believe he put an ALBUM out of him “singing” like that? Good GOD…why oh why couldn’t William Shitner just drop into a blackhole, never to be seen or heard from again? ---
**Author:** ![SpinneZiege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9e8a1a/32.png) [@SpinneZiege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SpinneZiege)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/3 "2000-12-22T04:52:54Z")
William Shatner should take the remaining members of Ben Folds Five\* and start a band called William Shatner Four, and go on a tour of Japan. \*the band in the [priceline.com](http://priceline.com) commercials that recently broke up ---
**Author:** ![omni-not](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8dc957/32.png) [@omni-not](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/omni-not)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/4 "2000-12-22T05:00:10Z")
Let’s see if I’ve got this straight: Ben Folds folded Ben Folds Five? ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/5 "2000-12-22T05:11:56Z")
If I could fight any celeberity, I’d fight William Shatner. ---
**Author:** ![Rodd\_Hill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/3ab097/32.png) [@Rodd\_Hill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rodd_Hill)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/6 "2000-12-22T06:25:46Z")
**relic\_11** said: > [@](#): > > I’d fight William Shatner. In that case…a thousand quatloos on the newcomer!! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/7 "2000-12-22T06:31:38Z")
I pretty much agree with the OP, except that I don’t think that this bit is inclusive enough: > [@](#): > > Stop making commercials. Stop being on television. For the love of all that is holy, stop writing new TV shows and novels. You forgot the bit about him breathing. ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 7:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/8 "2000-12-22T07:00:27Z")
You can all eat a loaf of Klingon dung. Bill S. is tha’ man! Anyone who says otherwise is jealous of all that green slave-girl pussy he gets or of his ability to translate song into spoken word. If you don’t like Shatner, you don’t get the joke. The man has made a career out of image and mocking the image he created. If you want to see just how brilliantly he does this rent “Free Enterprise”. While not a “great film”, it’s entertaining and a good look at Bill making fun of “Kirk”. If I was in a room with any of you people talking shit about Shatner I would give you one of those two clasped fist neck chops and knock you the fuck out and then I’d bang your wife and make her call me “Captain”. ---
**Author:** ![Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Morrison\_s\_Lament](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morrison_s_Lament)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 7:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/9 "2000-12-22T07:04:12Z")
Rodd Hill: LOL Didn’t anyone else get that??? 😉 — G. Raven ---
**Author:** ![zen101](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c68b51/32.png) [@zen101](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zen101)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 7:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/10 "2000-12-22T07:08:49Z")
I never got that episode. Three gelatinous glowing brains who are gambling addicts just never struck me as an inspiring enemy. Plus how to brains get to be three colors? If they were smary they would have never gottin rid of the bodies. After all you got them hot babes in the silver strapwear running around doing whatever they are told and all you can think of is to make them fight? Dismal. ---
**Author:** ![relic\_11](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/50afbb/32.png) [@relic\_11](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/relic_11)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 7:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/11 "2000-12-22T07:25:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Rodd Hill \* > \*\ ***relic\_11** said: > > > [@](#): > > > > I’d fight William Shatner. > > In that case…a thousand quatloos on the newcomer!! \*\* Ummm, thanks. I think. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/12 "2000-12-22T09:05:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by zen101 \* > \*\* > If you want to see just how brilliantly he does this rent “Free Enterprise”. While not a “great film”, it’s entertaining and a good look at Bill making fun of “Kirk”. > > \*\* You are sooo wrong. ‘Free Enterprise’ is a **great** film! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DRY](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a87d85/32.png) [@DRY](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DRY)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 9:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/13 "2000-12-22T09:42:00Z")
That swaggering, overbearing, tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood… ---
**Author:** ![SPOOFE](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c5a1d2/32.png) [@SPOOFE](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SPOOFE)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/14 "2000-12-22T10:20:17Z")
I think that when they finally killed off Captain Kirk in _ST: Generations_, Shatner (having come to believe that he really _was_ Kirk) completely snapped… In some of the Priceline commercials, if you look carefully, you can see his old Captain’s uniform peaking out under the collar. ---
**Author:** ![Snooooopy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ee7513/32.png) [@Snooooopy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snooooopy)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/15 "2000-12-22T10:58:24Z")
Did all three members of Ben Folds Five really appear in the Priceline commercials? I didn’t see the bassist or the drummer, just Ben Folds whacking a cowbell like his life depended on it. ---
**Author:** ![pldennison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9fc29f/32.png) [@pldennison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pldennison)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/16 "2000-12-22T13:45:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*Did all three members of Ben Folds Five really appear in the Priceline commercials? I didn’t see the bassist or the drummer, just Ben Folds whacking a cowbell like his life depended on it. \*\* I don’t believe so. The Priceline commercials featured a lot of different musicians in their “house band,” including Ben Folds, Lisa Loeb, Carrie Brownstein of Sleater-Kinney, Mary Timony of Helium, and others. ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/17 "2000-12-22T13:55:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Snooooopy \* > \*\*Ben Folds whacking a cowbell like his life depended on it. \*\* as it did. That cowbell was the only thing between him and Shatner’s voice. By the way, if you have a need to torture some one, may I suggest Shatner’s version of Lucy! inthesky! withDIAMONDS??? ---
**Author:** ![Heloise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e36b37/32.png) [@Heloise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heloise)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/18 "2000-12-22T14:01:51Z")
I must confess. I loved those commercials. I like that hammy actor. He was a total trip. And although I didn’t see him wearing his Star Trek uniform in the [priceline.com](http://priceline.com) commercials, it would probably be part of the joke. I think he has a great sense of humor about the whole thing. ---
**Author:** ![vd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b19c9b/32.png) [@vd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vd)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/19 "2000-12-22T14:37:50Z")
The only thing I’ve really liked Shatner in is the classic “Get a life” SNL sketch of a Star Trek convention. ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2000, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813/20 "2000-12-22T15:38:57Z")
Free Enterprise? Screw that. I enjoyed Free Willy so much more. When that massive creature, symbolizing Shatner’s enormous ego, managed to escape those who wish him harm, I just started bawling like a red headed stepchild after breaking a family heirloom. The whale did have a better singing voice though. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-william-shatner-shut-the-fuck-up/46813.md?page=2)