# Hey, you! Come here, and I'll give you your opinion. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 1, 2010, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604 "2010-04-01T17:48:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/61 "2010-04-02T02:56:46Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Hmm, a tough nut, eh? Okay - you think you need less fibre in your diet. Yeah, but do I think I need less bran or less shredded wheat? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/62 "2010-04-02T04:53:19Z")
> [@kidneyfailure](#): > > And me? You believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. You believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. You believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. You believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and you believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. And leopard-print briefs. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/63 "2010-04-02T04:55:04Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > Yeah, but do I think I need less bran or less shredded wheat? More fruit loops. ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 6:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/64 "2010-04-02T06:50:10Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > You believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. You believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. You believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. You believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and you believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. And leopard-print briefs. I’m thinking there’s a “Desiderata” in here. Shall we try? Go placidly amid the noise and waste, and know that a cock belongs in a pussy. As far as possible, without surrender, understand that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. Speak your truth about the designated hitter quietly and clearly, yet let those who do not favour it speak their minds too; for they also have their reasons. Avoid those who exalt the novels of Susan Sontag; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare real grass with Astroturf, you will become vain and bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser lawns to tell the kids to get off of. Enjoy the sweet spot as much as you can in your youth; as you get older, it will shrink. Keep interested in constitutional amendments as you age; they will indicate what happens as a result of the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution when discussing soft-core pornography, for the world is full of self-appointed censors. But let not this blind you to the small of a woman’s back; many persons strive to see more, and you should be among them. Take kindly the counsel of Santa Claus: that gifts are for opening Christmas morning after Santa has brought them, not the evening before. But do not distress yourself with false imaginings; many people do not find Porsches under the tree in the morning. Take kindly the things you know: the hanging curve ball, high fiber, and good Scotch And know that the things of youth were never as good as understanding these. You are a child of the message board, no less than the members of ten years. You have every right to be here. But whether you hear it or not, the message board Is laughing behind your back. Therefore, make peace with your God, Whatever you conceive it to be: Little Ed or Mighty Cecil And whatever you post, remember: The primary rule is, “Don’t be a jerk.” Even if you don’t get long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days, It is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy in leopard-print briefs. ---
**Author:** ![EvilTOJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ee59a6/32.png) [@EvilTOJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EvilTOJ)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/65 "2010-04-02T07:33:57Z")
What’s my opinion on the designated hitter rule? I have already been told on numerous occasions that I hate sports and baseball in general. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 2, 2010, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/66 "2010-04-02T20:40:19Z")
> [@Spoons](#): > > I’m thinking there’s a “Desiderata” in here. Shall we try? > > Go placidly amid the noise and waste, and know that a cock belongs in a pussy. > As far as possible, without surrender, understand that Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. > > Speak your truth about the designated hitter quietly and clearly, > yet let those who do not favour it speak their minds too; for they also have their reasons. > Avoid those who exalt the novels of Susan Sontag; they are vexatious to the spirit. > > If you compare real grass with Astroturf, you will become vain and bitter, > for always there will be greater and lesser lawns to tell the kids to get off of. > Enjoy the sweet spot as much as you can in your youth; as you get older, it will shrink. > Keep interested in constitutional amendments as you age; > they will indicate what happens as a result of the changing fortunes of time. > > Exercise caution when discussing soft-core pornography, > for the world is full of self-appointed censors. > But let not this blind you to the small of a woman’s back; > many persons strive to see more, and you should be among them. > Take kindly the counsel of Santa Claus: > that gifts are for opening Christmas morning after Santa has brought them, > not the evening before. > But do not distress yourself with false imaginings; > many people do not find Porsches under the tree in the morning. > > Take kindly the things you know: > the hanging curve ball, high fiber, and good Scotch > And know that the things of youth were never as good as understanding these. > > You are a child of the message board, > no less than the members of ten years. > You have every right to be here. > But whether you hear it or not, the message board > Is laughing behind your back. > > Therefore, make peace with your God, > Whatever you conceive it to be: > Little Ed or Mighty Cecil > And whatever you post, remember: > The primary rule is, “Don’t be a jerk.” > > Even if you don’t get long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days, > It is still a beautiful world. > Be cheerful. Strive to be happy in leopard-print briefs. {Stand up, begins slow clap} That is a masterpiece, sir. I think I will print it out and have it framed. Sorry, **EvilTOJ** , the moment has passed. You’ll have to form your own opinions again. (But I suspect you don’t care for the designated hitter rule like all good-hearted people. 🙂 ) ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/67 "2010-04-03T03:45:32Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > {Stand up, begins slow clap} > That is a masterpiece, sir. I think I will print it out and have it framed. Help yourself. I would be honored to know you appreciated it enough to frame it. ---
**Author:** ![figure9](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@figure9](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/figure9)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/68 "2010-04-03T03:53:18Z")
Could I have a controversial opinion? I promise to defend it without regard to logic or facts! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/69 "2010-04-03T04:35:09Z")
> [@figure9](#): > > Could I have a controversial opinion? I promise to defend it without regard to logic or facts! Ooh, a challenge - okay, I think I can come up with one more; you think all people on welfare should be sterilized. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2010, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/70 "2010-04-03T04:42:50Z")
Wow **Spoons** that was amazing. That’s my opinion, and it should be yours too. ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/71 "2010-04-05T13:09:56Z")
Not to de-rail an excellent thread by asking a serious question, but I need an opinion on anthropogenic climate change. I keep meaning to read up on it so I can make an informed decision, but I don’t have the time, and so-called experts in the field constantly muddy the waters with factual evidence. So, what’s my opinion, please? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 5, 2010, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/72 "2010-04-05T21:40:30Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > Not to de-rail an excellent thread by asking a serious question, but I need an opinion on anthropogenic climate change. I keep meaning to read up on it so I can make an informed decision, but I don’t have the time, and so-called experts in the field constantly muddy the waters with factual evidence. So, what’s my opinion, please? First, thank you. Your opinion is that we’re probably up the creek, and what would it hurt to stop wasting so much anyway? No, wait, that’s my opinion. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/73 "2010-04-06T12:00:22Z")
Huh. Way to go with the misleading thread title. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Oy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bc8723/32.png) [@Oy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oy)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/74 "2010-04-06T17:47:31Z")
**Cat Whisperer** , my opinion is that your opinion of the movie _Bull Durham_ is good. Since my opinion is also that _Bull Durham_ is good, you have now given me two opinions, and I don’t need any more from you. But thank you. ---
**Author:** ![ToeJam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dfb087/32.png) [@ToeJam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ToeJam)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/75 "2010-04-06T21:38:48Z")
Can I have a second opinion after you give me my first opinion? ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/76 "2010-04-06T23:22:23Z")
I think my life is vacant and baren because I lack a personal credo. My search has brought me to this door in hope and wonder. Can you help? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 6, 2010, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/77 "2010-04-06T23:26:13Z")
> [@penultima\_thule](#): > > I think my life is vacant and baren because I lack a personal credo. My search has brought me to this door in hope and wonder. Can you help? Make that two, please. ---
**Author:** ![MacSpon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@MacSpon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacSpon)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/78 "2010-04-07T01:45:34Z")
Should I ask her now, or wait for our anniversary? ---
**Author:** ![PlainJain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/5daacb/32.png) [@PlainJain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PlainJain)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/79 "2010-04-07T03:31:51Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > You like black fishnet stockings, hot buttered buns, and leopard-print briefs. In fact, there’s someone I’d like you to meet…😃 Hmmmm… expound on this butter on the buns aspect. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [April 7, 2010, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604/80 "2010-04-07T03:56:17Z")
> [@Dead\_Cat](#): > > Huh. Way to go with the misleading thread title. > > 🙂 Sorry. That offer was only good for April Fool’s Day; now you’ll just get whatever’s leftover. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/hey-you-come-here-and-ill-give-you-your-opinion/534604.md?page=5)