And yes, I had a bad day at the office.
Well, as the gynaecologist’s wife said, “Hello dear, nice day at the orifice?”
Here’s your brandy…
Sit down here next to me and tell me all about it…
pats love seat, gestures for you to sit very close
Thanks dear.
No, heh-heh. I really don’t want to trouble your pretty little head about it.
What will we be having for dinner tonight? And where are the boys?
Last I saw they were playing with the stump grinder.
Pate’?
Wally! Beaver! Your father’s home!
Honey, great news! We’re going to be guests on Jerry Springer next week! It has something to do with my part-time job and its odd hours. You’ll be so proud of me!
Don’t make me have to kick your fanny over in Whammo’s pit thread about wimmin, Milo. 'Cause I’ll do it, I swear I will. 
May I be the first to offer you a back rub? A long, slow, sensual back rub?
OK, I can see where this thread might be heading. And I’ll help it along:
After you have your brandy and get a back rub, follow ME into the dining room for a gourmet dinner (from the best place in town–I ordered in). After dinner…well…let’s just say I’ll do all the work and you won’t have to talk at all. 
I think I like this a lot better than the '50s TV shows …
Wally, who are all those women with Dad?
I dunno, Beav, but they sure seem to think he’s a swell guy …